Help calm me, house buying and selling stress part 2

That sounds bad and its a lesson. My sister had to do poa for her mother in law, she kept very strict records but mil insisted that she took regular cash out and stashed it somewhere

I have been online again, done some more of this `dying tidy` business. Working out savings plus goods plus house and there won`t be any IHT to pay. Sipp is not counted for IHT. I did some notes on word, to file as dd would have to quickly understand everything because taxman does not give long. The nil rate band gets passed to the spouse if a will was left, leaving everything to the spouse. Spouse ends up with 2 x nil rate band plus 2 x nil rate for residence

I suppose all the goods would add up to a fair bit for most of us, even second hand value. Taxman would likely check contents insurance for that. Complicated stuff, I am not giving any more money away

Thank you Niobe, I do get carried away occasionally, I have asked for it to be deleted.

That `dying tidy` again. I closed 2 bank/building society accounts with rubbish rates and very little in. Doing the will and closing accounts and learning about iht and nil bands, it was all interesting. It is time for me to stop spending on the house, I truly have everything I need. I`ll build up a bit more balance and then look for a coach trip. I am not a holiday person, love where I am and love my own bed. I need a different mindset

Morning on this cold and windy wet day. Already made a start on my Christmas present shopping. Will spend the usual on my grandsons but adults will be cut back on. Things I had planned to do next year on the bungalow have had to be done this year. Namely the new garage roof, chimney work and pointing on the gable end. But at least haven't got to worry about them for 20+ years now. Plaster popping in today to give me the price for doing my bedroom walls and ceiling and give me a date for the work. When I have it decorated I don't need it lining before painting as I will have smooth surfaces.
Off to my daughter's later to baby sit so they can have a night .

Has anyone used Karndean flooring? My kitchen fitter has recommended it.

Hope you all have a good day.

Morning everyone, dark skies and rain here too. I'm up early to do a car boot, but think I'm just going to take it to the charity shop, it's just too wet and doesn't seem to be stopping. I've taken everything out of the annexe kitchen .. they are all duplicates I bought for the guests. Hundreds of pounds worth, even an oyster opener! I do find it very hard decluttering, what if always floats to the forefront of my mind.

Whiff, several people have had Kardean flooring installed on the WU website and are very pleased with it. The bungalow had it throughout as it had underfloor heating they didn't have any carpets, it does give a pleasing effect. I suspect it is very expensive, is it a large area? Hope plasterer quote isn't too eye watering.

Christmas, argh. I ask for lists from the kids, and always end up spending ridiculous amounts, I love giving presents. I asked my 82 year old aunt if she'd start thinking of something she'd like yesterday, I normally get her a big present and smaller thoughtful things, but it's a nightmare posting it to her. We tried Argos last year for a cordless phone set and they delivered it. I've started using the expensive 'by 1 pm' service, as she missed her parcel once. I got a 20 minute description of the journey to the PO with her trolley, the queue, the rain - !! I try to spoil her, as my Mum did.

Have a good day, I'm so glad to have you to chat too, I do feel very down but will concentrate on emptying the house of anything I'm not going to put into store.

Mosaicwarts it is hard getting rid of things especially if they are things you brought with your husband. But I found it freeing. It was upsetting at times but I knew it had to be done. Thought I had been very good getting rid of things but I am asking myself why on earth did I bring the extra 2 dining room chairs and 2 bedside cabinets I haven't got room for them. I haven't unpacked all the boxes yet but know when I do more stuff will be gotten rid of. Until my bedroom is ready to move into there is no point opening them. One great thing about having a smaller home is I can't hoard anymore. And nothing is going into the loft.

I know it's hard doing it on your own but the sense of achievement you get once it is done is wonderful. I set myself a goal for each day which helped me tackle what seemed to be an impossible job. I am one of those people who like structure and routine it's always been my way to cope with what life has thrown at me. Everyone has to find what works for them. Think that's why I found it so hard selling and buying as I couldn't control what was happening. I know I'm a control freak.
Thanks for the info about Karndean flooring.
Hope by the end of the day you are feeling a bit happier.

Good timing Whiff, I'm sitting here gearing myself up to take it all to the charity shop, just need to save a small jug that I'll sell on ebay. I decided not to go at 8.30 am, went to the beach with my dog and it was sunny at 9, then rainy at 9.10, then sunny again. Just kept changing, I was going to go late, but would have had the shower curtain on and off like a Mexican wave!

I was lucky enough to bump into one of my husband's good friends, a builder, at the golf club on the way back. He congratulated me on selling the house and I updated him I used metal trays on the annexe windowsill and must have put them back wet, there are some rust marks on the wood. Asked him what to do and have to wash carefully, then apply an oil based paint. I must do it today so there's no smell when the viewings start again.

I will try your daily goal approach, I am overwhelmed at the moment, it is how do you eat an elephant isn't it.

Trains are going past very slowly ... leaves on the line already!

xx

Horrible when buyers pull out. At least Mw, it was pretty early on. Four years ago, when I first thought of making the move from London to WsM, I had a gentleman who came round to sort out an offer on the house. We agreed a price, but I insisted it still went via my EA. This was in April of that year. I found a flat and everything seemed to be going fine. I was told that as my would be purchaser was self-employed it would take a little longer than usual. However, the time dragged on and on. Did not even get his mortgage supplier survey until August!!! Then nothing at all happened. It made me quite ill and as Christmas approached I did say that if I lost the flat then I would pull the whole thing. In January that happened. It appeared as my EA had not fully checked his employment status and he had only been self-employed for a few months and therefore there were only one or two mortgage companies who would consider him. It was an absolute nightmare.
Even this time around I was actually in the process of having a quotation for removal when I got told my would-be purchasers had decided not to go ahead.
This is why I always say IF not WHEN I move as nothing is at all definite until such time as Contracts get Exchanged.
We just have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down and start all over again.......although I have said if the current sale collapses I will not be doing that, just staying put

A goal a day is a very good way to live when getting older anyway, otherwise the day is wasted. All I have done today is go to Wells on the bus but I met some very nice people and it enforces relaxing. Wells was crowded as it is market day, lovely countryside on the way there but am glad to be back

My belated goal today is to tidy and sort just one kitchen drawer, the catch all drawer by the door. It is like the getting rid mindset, hard to start but very liberating afterwards

After mu husband died, I made a short list every evening, for the following day, it gave me a reason to get up

mosaics, I think I would have cheated and tried tippex

Back again after unloading at the animal charity shop, had a nice chat with the owner. I volunteered in her shop twenty years ago but couldn't cope with the people that came in saying things like 'I'm moving tomorrow and the need shot of the cat' or similar. I am always so sorry for older cats/dogs that are looking for a new home.

It's sunny now but really windy. I'm off to get the last items I want to declutter from the annexe, then a windy dog walk.

When I return I'm going to have a go at painting the window sill, I found some white gloss paint in the shed and luckily, brush cleaner too. Would be about ten bottles of tippex craftyone - was a big round tray Now in the charity shop!

We had Karndean flooring when we redid our kitchen nearly five years ago and it is still perfect. More expensive than some floor coverings but a huge range of styles to choose from. Needs to be laid by an expert though.

GrannySomerset thank you for your reply. I was my kitchen fitter who recommended it. Cost isn't an issue as the kitchen in my old house was 30 yrs old and had promised myself the kitchen I want in my new home. Can't wait to have a dish washer.

Mosaicwarts hope you are feeling happier today. And can tackle all ahead of you with a spring in your step.

Franbern how is your recovery going. Hope you are feeling better in yourself and not in much pain.

Craftyone it is always nice to go out but it's even better to be home. What's the old saying home is where the heart is. The only thing I miss from my old house is the airing cupboard. Having a combi boiler I haven't got one. Baby sat for my daughter and son in law last night. It's lovely living so close to the family that I can be on the spot when they need me.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Morning Whiff, glad you are going to have a floor you enjoy cleaning! Nightmare for me cleaning the kitchen floor as my dog attacks the mop, not sure if he hates the noise or the movement of it. I've just got stripped floorboards, every crumb goes in the gaps.

I'm very naughty not being dressed yet and on my third coffee, so dark and rainy out there. Feel stuck to the chair.

It's nice of you all to share that after being disappointed with an offer withdrawal you had viewings without being 'dressed up'. I felt in such a panic about decluttering when I thought the sale could be imminent - especially the piano, which is still a big problem due to its weight and the 18 steps. It is good I do know he's not going to proceed so soon, I now realise I am lucky to have found out and can plan with more focus.

I bit the bullet yesterday and advertised a drop leaf table, the ottoman and chair, and a tailor's dummy ornament thingy from the annexe, and my second sofa in the house lounge. We dont' use the annexe, and can manage without the second sofa, and it will be a few less things to worry about. You won't believe the questions I've received about the sofa, I need to really clean it and take more photos today.

Have a good day whatever you are doing. I do miss Sunday lunch round the table with the family.

just coming on to thank the inventor of the green kitchen pad .... scrubbed the rust marks on the wooden windowsill like a curling champion, and it's starting to lift! my husband did all the painting and I'm scared to do it - now it's empty it's huge and would really show if I made a mess of it. back to scrubbing!

mosaics wire wool in the direction of the grain, need to not make indents

Thanks craftyone will try that too, arm was aching so I've left it for a while.

I have spent all afternoon polishing and hoovering the sofa ready for a viewing tomorrow night, no time to wash the cushions. Just used shoe polish on the scratches, very effective, and have covered it with a big sheet so should stay dust free for tomorrow. I've now seen it on ebay for £700! I'm only asking £200, I want a quick sale and take away, It's 40 inches deep with huge curved arms, will definitely not fit into another house easily, I hope they have measured their front door space.

Waiting anxiously for my daughter to get back from Stone, her friend is driving, but is very experienced. Her friend is a farmer's daughter and my daughter had her first driving experience with her at the age of 13 - I found out recently - driving around her friend's field! Smacks of the Godfather!

Had such a stressful day yesterday. As usual, whilst I got dressed I turned on my laptop. When I looked the wiffi light on the keyboard had come on (showing power going to it), but a plain black screen only showing the mouse arrow. I was panic struck.
Then went downstairs, went to put something in a base cupboard in the kitchen, and the heavy wooden door fell off!!!
Had been supposed to be going over to daughter for lunch, tearful phone call to her asking her to come to me, got me the usual lecture about 'catastrohising' (as she calls it). I had managed, via my smart phone to get a recommendation for someone to come to look at my computer and had already telephoned him.
I am usually such a calm person, and in total control of my life. Suppose that is why when things go wrong that I cannot sort myself, I just go completely to pieces.
Daughter came over later in afternoon and in ten minutes had re-fitted the door onto its hinges, lovely man was here two hours, but sorted out the laptop for me.
Then I managed (for the first time) to actually explain to that daughter how worried and stressed i was about the whole move thingie. And my particular concerns about those final few days if Contracts do ever get exchanged, and getting in charity shop to take away furniture, rubbish clearance company to take away rest, etc.etc.
She looked at the items I was talking about and then said that she would take a couple of days of work and with her brother coming here, they would hire a small van for the day and take all of that away themselves. Easier and a lot cheaper. So, perhaps the final outcome of the day was quite good, but I was exhausted when I went to bed last night.
We may decry all the modern technology, but are now so reliant on it.
One good thing if I make this move is that any such problems with technology, my Son in Law would just be able to pop over to sort it for me.

So very fed up with Solicitors. They charge a fortune and seem the really main reason for so much stress involved in moving. Mine actually told me of a problem that I might have when I came to selling the flat I now wish to purchase (will never be me, will be my children!). Anyway, I had to point out to him that if it was a vendor problem, then surely that problem (and costs related) are with the current vendors selling the flat to me. He agreed with that!!!
Then the vendors solicitors are taking nearly a month to reply to letters, and then do not bother to turn over pages, so miss out vital questions.
A query on the garage which goes with the flat seems to be the main thing holding everything up. So today I have rung the EA's down in WsM, asked them to contact the vendors and find out WHICH garage (one of the questions the solicitors overlooked).....and then arrange with my daughter down there to do a quick visit to the building so she could see that the garage door opens properly and easily. Also, whilst I was on the phone gave those EA's my chosen Moving Date - to see if they could get the vendors to hurry along their solicitor. It has all gone through probate, the flat is empty, sure the vendors as well as the EA's would like to get their money almost as much as I would like to move in.

Poor you Franbern! I'm like a caged bear when I don't have access to the web, TalkTalk was off for two days earlier in the month. I often think of my Mum, if only it had been around for her twenty years ago, being housebound would have been so much easier as she could have looked at the world from her armchair.

Glad you don't have to worry about your possessions, what a clever daughter to think of that. I moved my flat mate in a huge Luton van years ago from Chiswick to Southampton, I remember dropping it off in Hampton then cycling back to Acton in the dark. No idea how many miles it was but I remember having trouble carrying it up the stairs when I got there. Could never do it now!

Talking of disposing of things, my daughter was aghast I've advertised the sofa for such a low price, but it is scratched, and I have only had three serious enquiries even at that low price. If the viewer doesn't buy it tonight I'm going to put the price up. I've just listed some lights on ebay, quite heavy so postage is high, I'm not optimistic.

I've been pondering this morning, do you think I can ask the EA to only send cash buyers? I am clearly listed as a renovation project so getting a mortgage would be very difficult, if not impossible.

Mosaicwarts don't limit yourself to buyers. Cash buyers aren't always cash buyers. As you and most of us on this thread know only to well that people are liars when it comes to buying and selling houses.

Franbern glad your daughter was able to sort you out. Both my son and daughter have had to be the level headed ones at times when I was going through the selling hell. I am usually able to sort stuff out myself but dealing with solicitors is a nightmare. My solicitor was great. But the solicitors both the buyers who pulled out on me and the couple who did buy my house were awful. It was one delay after another.
How are you feeling health wise? Hope you are feeling better physically.

Thanks Whiff, I was having a look at mortgages today on house renovation projects and it seems there are only a few specialist companies that do them. You are right of course, people do bend the truth.

My sofa sold and went off down the stairs, what a ton weight, I'm scared to go down without holding on but held the young woman's arm and checked her footing on the steps. Strong girl, I don't think I could do it any more, just the corner of the sofa was so heavy. We've now just got a huge sofa and a big tv in the room, moving the tv to the middle of the bay window space. Will be good when I get the Christmas tree. Feel stupid I didn't ask for more money - but then it might not have sold, and I would have ended up giving it away. Gave half the money to my daughter so she could have a good time with her boyfriend when he comes. Fingers crossed the other things go soon.

Off to watch The Confession, how very sad it is.

Still not heard anything about our buyers getting a mortgage. Really hope the mortgage provider accepts it's not a mine shaft just a filled in airvent. Our next door neighbour got a mortgage on their house though 22 yrs ago. He thought it was a mine shaft between the houses but still got a mortgage. Was surprised when we told him my OH spent a day at the coal mining archives and was told it definitely wasn't a shaft.
It's 10 weeks now since we accepted the offer from our buyer. Really hope we see some progress soon. Just would like a date to work towards even if it's 6 mths time I need to know what we're doing.
Like some of you on here I actually felt relieved when we got rid of some of the furniture. One was my grannys old sideboard but it was in poor condition and went to a lady doing upcycling. I didn't get much but it made the room look so much bigger for viewings.
When we move I shall sort out paperwork and put everything in files. Packing was just throwing the lot into a box to sort later but have had to open the box to find letters I needed since so not good. It took 3 of us 4 days to sort out my brother's 1 bedroom flat when he died. He was a real hoarder, piles of brand new clothes never worn still labelled. 100s of DVDs and CDs ornaments etc. Paperwork in every drawer etc. MILs house was much the same so decided mine will be much easier for my kids.
Anyway it's raining hard here in Devon and I'm still at the caravan. OH has lost his welly boots somewhere burried in the storage container lol he has lots of shoes and boots though. All the best everyone xxx

oh still so much purgatory going on here on the thread, I see all sorts of strengths shining through, getting actual refurbishments done, living with storage, downsizing big furniture.

I chopped something up once, no-one would have it, no-one would collect it. I could not give it away, so I stripped it and sawed it into bits that I could manhandle into the car for the tip. I got rid of a huge wide plant a few days ago, very big and even that is now a sense of relief, the room feels lighter

I feel guilty at all the furniture I have foisted onto my dds but they wanted the pieces, I don`t believe they ever knew how much I wanted them to go. Most are now dog and cat scarred but once something has gone, then that is it, I have to forget the leather care and cleanliness

So today I am going to visit my old neighbours, they aren`t so well but I know will be so glad to see me.

Sazzl, sorry you are having to wait so long, ten weeks is such a long time, I hope you hear something very soon. I am glad your grandmother's sideboard went to someone who was going to love it, was it art deco style? It was a major feature at my grandma's house and hers was full of cutlery, china, glass, jigsaw puzzles and my chocolate supply! Special memories. I am sad this morning the sofa has gone as I find it so hard to part with things and I was daft to advertise it so cheaply, but hey ho. I've had it for 15 years, but need to get a downsizing head on and realise I couldn't take it with me, and better to have the space in the room and a bit of money. I got an enquiry about the tailor's dummy this morning, too.

Have a good time at your neighbours craftyone, I hope your new owner is being kind to them. I must remember to be grateful I have my health, I am very lucky.

Not dressed again, these dark mornings do get me down, poor dog is waiting patiently. Off to get credit for my books this afternoon, my dog likes it in the second hand book shop, people always fuss over him. He still stands on the front step looking at the white car in the field, I think he thinks its my husband's car, and wonders why he isn't coming home.