Help calm me, house buying and selling stress part 2

Can I give you something to hold onto, something I believe has happened to me. The last 4 years have been the most terrible of my life, starting with the sudden death of my husband, then the clearing, selling downsizing and buying. Since then I have been physically into overdrive, very hard physical, not mental work these last 3 months. Suddenly the physical work is over and the universe is talking to me

Last night I let go of my allotment, gone to a teenager in need who could make a business selling the fruit. Then I had an important phone call and I am back to carving lessons on thursdays, he had a space for me. I need those lessons, he is good and it gives me structure again. Today I had the call saying that there is a place for me on tai chi, every tuesday, starting in a few weeks. I had the message replying to my e mail, to go see my much loved ex-neighbours. I went to get a plant, found a bright red cyclamen in a muddy pot. She wrapped it in cellophane and tied curly ribbon on it and now it looks happy, like I feel

So I feel as though I am on the next stage, the physical work has been like a line being drawn across. What is it with the universe? we are sent tasks to test us, to teach us about ourselves, to make us stronger and we emerge like butterflies. So hold on, it will happen

Thanks craftyone, it made me happy hearing what has happened to you. Look up at the stars not at your feet, as they say.

Onwards and upwards Movers. It all comes right in the end and the trials and tribulations will fade.

Yes, why can't solicitors be more caring and empathise with us? It's almost as though they enjoy looking for things to cause more stress.

Craftyone you are inspirational. When I think of the things I've done since my husband died I must admit I don't know how I've managed it. Long before he died he made me promise him a lot of things and I'm proud to say I have kept my promises. We had the advantage of knowing when he was diagnosed with malignant melanoma that he wouldn't live 5 yrs. Which I know sounds strange that I call it an advantage. But we had a time limit in which to make plans. I have done a lot of firsts since he died. My children tell me all the time how proud they are of me and how proud their Dad would be. It's not been easy and still feel like half of me is missing. I was lucky we had 29yrs together married nearly 23.

But what I trying to say in my long winded way is that life throws you a lot of obstacles in the way. Some life changing and some just down right annoying. But getting through them gives you an enormous sense of achievement. Even when I have been at my lowest somehow I have managed to find something to make me smile. Usually something silly.

I really do appreciate the lady at my EA's, who has been so very helpful and supportive throughout. This morning she has rung to tell me that all the queries on my present house are sorted and as far as the buyers are concerned everything is just waiting on their buyers and me buying the flat.
She is also going to telephone the EA's in Weston to try to chase them up on my call to them last Monday to try to sort out the problem as to WHICH garage goes with the flat.
I am (almost) at the stage of believing this may actually happen sometime soon!!
Still clearing out, throwing away and taking to charity shops.

almost there Franbern, a happy post from you and yes a good EA is worth their weight in gold, I never resented paying my EA

Fingers crossed for you Franbern, glad progress is being made, I hope you get your dates soon. How can they not know which garage goes with the flat, how frustrating.

I spoke to the EA on Wednesday, they did contact all of the 'interested parties' and no-one wants to return for a second viewing. I don't think I'll come off the market again unless funds are proved, as some of you suggested.

I'm still feeling a stupid fool for selling the sofa too cheap, especially seeing the adverts for sofas I'd never buy for hundreds of pounds more. Listing the huge one soon and rearranging the annexe.

It would have been my 34th wedding anniversary yesterday, went out to the theatre with my daughter to see a matinee play, then dinner in the evening.

Couldn't sleep with the heavy rain last night and up early to walk the dog before going to the garage ... I just can't work out how to get my wipers off to replace them. I've watched three videos and am too scared of messing up and ending up without wipers. Hope the road isn't flooded or I won't be able to get through, never driving through it again!

Enjoy your day

Franbern my fingers and toes are crossed for you. Hope you hear very soon when you will exchange and complete.

Mosaicwarts any anniversary to do with your husband is hard. In my experience it doesn't get any easier as the years go by. You just cope better. It's like birthdays my husband is 47 forever I'm now 61. Often wonder what he would look like now with full head and beard of grey hair. Don't berate yourself about selling the sofa cheaper it might not have sold if you asked for more.

Had a productive day yesterday. My daughter took me to Benchmarx to finalise my kitchen plan and to pay for it. My kitchen fitter told them to give me the full discount. Which I thought was very good of him. They gave me a bottle of wine. Which my daughter had I don't drink. Went to the tile and flooring places he recommended and picked what I wanted. Just waiting for him to come and see me to finalise all the details. My door and window man came yesterday to do the final measure should have them fitted in 3-4 weeks. It's all very exciting choosing new things.

Hope everyone else is doing well and have a good day.

EA's rang me to say they have the reply re. the garage. It is the one shown on the plans. Silly error. When their photographer took photos of the flat to put on the market, the exterior one showed an open garage, and everyone, including them assumed that was the one. It is not, and that is why he could not open that garage when I viewed the flat!!
Anyway, my daughter is going with EA to look at the proper garage tonight and I have also asked for her to ask him to let her into the main foyer so she can see the Tenants Notice Board which is there, and get me some phone nos. of local painters/decorators.
the flat badly needs a good coat of paint throughout. Will have just plain white, but really want this done quickly, as I will not be able to unpack things into my units in the Living room, until they can be moved into correct position. So, I thought I could start getting quotations before I moved in -sure EA's will let such people have a quick look around in order to make quotes.
I do know nothing is absolutely definite as yet, but I feel we are getting there. I will hear from daughter this evening and then drop a letter into my Solicitors during the weekend.
Still fingers and everything else crossed that we can go with a 29th October completion and removal. This is the date I want as it is half term down there then, which means I will have my daughter as well as three teenage g.children to assist down there. Also, really would like to move in BEFORE clocks go back!!!

So glad that is sorted out Franbern, I hope it's a nice watertight space for you. 29th October is so soon! Fingers crossed

Mosaicwarts, don't beat yourself up about selling the sofa....they are tricky things to sell. Once we had moved we realised our two did not really fit and we tried to get rid of the bigger one. Its from a very good place - handmade to order and of a 'fashionable' style but we had no takers. However the local hospice shop were very happy to take it so at least it's done some good. Its all to easy to just remember how much we spent on something, how much we agonised about choosing it - but to others its just a sofa and the internet is full of second hand sofas.

When I first tried to move to a flat (now some four years back), I sold off quite a lot of furniture. Found all sorts of things 'hidden' in my large garage/shed at the bottom of the garden. Sold mainly via London Gumtree as it meant people were reasonably close to be able to collect.
This time - as I have been sorting out- have found it so much easier just to send things to local charity shops. Indeed, a couple of weeks ago I did advertise one of those Nutribullet type things - I had purchased it about three years back and had not used it for the last couple of years. Checked to see that they were still making and selling for just of £70 so I offered it for £30. Someone came back to quite quickly asking if I would accept £25 - I said yes and asked if he would make a suitable arrangements to collect. After three days I contacted him just asking if he was still interested, and got such a rude reply stating he was trying to make arrangements to come to me and I was to stop bothering him. I did........and then discovered that one of my daughters did not have one and really wanted it which suited me so much more than the £25!!!
Sometimes the amount received is just not worth all the hassle.
My daughter contacted me confirming about the garage - it is the one shown on the plans. I have today dropped a letter into my solicitors saying we have sorted this all out and asking if they could try to sort out a completion date for 29th October.
Having final sort out of stuff this weekend.

Thanks for being so nice about my sofa HildaW, I'm now in agony trying to decide what to sell the other one for! I've got a big oil bill coming in, I think I'll ask for a bit more than that and hope for the best! Years ago someone said to me that a fool and his money are easily parted and I do relate to that. I do find I am always too generous. My daughter and her friends use an 'app' so when they pay for each other, its recorded, and their finances are always fair.

I'm really excited about everything for you Franbern, and bright green with envy! Hope your solicitor gets back to you quickly and it's all systems go!

I'm feeling a bit better after doing some housework, my daughter is out on a course and isn't back until 10 pm. She was really excited to be accepted, it's a train ride away in the city ... and guess what, no trains today, line is closed for engineering works. An hour and a half on the bus, so I had to drive her to the next station a scary drive away, I managed with quite stiff arms and my Rescue remedy spray. She's just phoned and said it was fantastic, happiest I've heard her for a long time

If anyone else liked Mary Berry's navy 'starry' scarf on a recent repeat of 'Who Do you Think You are' Fat Face have a similar one, but synthetic, not wool. I'm wearing mine now! We all need a treat now and again!

oh yes, we definitely need a treat now and then, being saturday mine was chocolate and hazelnut. I keep looking in here, hoping so much for any snippet of good news and am glad to see some moving forward a few steps. That sofa of yours mosaics, it found a new home, with a grateful new owner. Don`t fret over it, I know money is a factor of course but karma is always present

I have been on top form, started carving again on thursday with an immensely good quiet teacher and my va va has come back so I have been re-vamping the garage/workshop ie tidied it and found bits for various electric tools. It is such a nice calming place now. I have started making a sun at the moment, have carved the curve for the round part and started to scrollsaw in and out of the rays. Will finish that when my dust extractor arrives, too risky getting sawdust in lungs. I then stick it temporarily onto a bigger square of plywood, so it can be held in a holding device while master carver teaches me how to make very good bendy rays. Then it comes off the base, is sanded and finished and I will put magnetic pads on the back, so it can go on the fridge next to one of my husbands carvings

I love having that va va back, it has been gone for so long. That feeling when I have inner excitement, when I look forward to getting up the next day. I feel bright eyed and bushy tailed again and long may it last

Craftyone lovely hear you are so up beat. Long may it continue. My craft of choice is cross stitching. I only took it up 3 yrs ago wish I had found it sooner. I am hooked on it. Finished the stocking I was sewing for one of my grandsons last week , now doing a count down for Christmas for one and then onto to a Christmas sack for the eldest. Already made gnome tree decorations for them plus some of the Christmas cards for family and friends.

Mosaicwarts as far as selling people seem to ask for more than they want that way when people offer less you arrive at the figure you had in mind in the first place. Hope.that makes sense. Try not to be hard on yourself. You are doing well coping with the ups and downs of selling.

Franbern once the contracts are exchanged you can stop holding your breath. Hopefully that will happen soon for you. Glad you know which is your garage.

whiff, I read your post and just spent over 40 minutes looking at bucilla crafts on ebay. I have managed to resist, don`t know how, I still use several of their beautiful christmas items. I loved making them but I also have flashbacks to the large amount I gave away, the huge santa and father christmas door hangings, tree skirt, stockings etc. I have a scandinavian wooden tree and already hang a dozen bucilla ornaments on it, don`t want overload of sequins, I want to carve one this year instead. They do masses of gorgeous cross stitches but I have nowhere left to hang anything. I need to get this out of my weak willed head

Craftyone you don't have a weak willed head. Over all these months since I first read this thread wonderful thread you started, I have found how much I admire you. You started something to be proud off. I know how much your honesty and openness and support and that off all the others here has made my life better. I know I will never get to meet all of you but I feel like you are my friends.

Have a good day everyone.

Morning everyone, dark and really rainy here, I've been awake on and off all night with the rain hitting the windows and plonking down the bedroom chimney.

How lovely you are carving craftyone, something I've never considered. I don't have any hobbies at all. I wish I had learnt to knit, my Mum did try to teach me but I didn't have the patience at the time. I did do some cross stitch years ago, but again, lacked the patience. I feel embarrassed to think of it - I made a work colleague a cross stitch card, but as we smoked in the house then, expect it really smelled dreadful to her as a non smoker!

I want to add my thanks to you too for starting this thread craftyone, coming on here has also made my life better. I also feel you are my friends.

Tide is in so whizzing my dog round the village instead this morning, then food shopping for my daughter's boyfriend's visit tomorrow. I'll be going soon as I'm worried the road may be flooded, there is a small byrne on the road I have to use as I can't go 'the front way' as I have panic attacks.

Have a good day all, still some time before the dreaded clock 'fall back' and it's dark so early.

Ahh, you are all my friends too, don`t need appointments in a coffee shop to talk to you either

Hobbies are my lifeline, completely. My 3 AC have their own lives to live with their families so I don`t pop in just to kill my time. Learning something new is so good for brain activity. I hope to enrol on a weaving course in the future and have a lovely small accordian stashed under a bed plus all the learning books. I `taught` myself the accordian when I was 15, parents could not afford piano lessons. I don`t want formal lessons now. That accordian was almost as tall as me, it cost me 10 bob and I took it on a train to college in newcastle when I was 18, that and 2 cases, don`t know how I managed

So I have bought 2 new plastic fold up and very strong workbenches, worx pegasus. One is in my kitchen behind a door and one in the garage. I bought them because I intend to carve indoors this winter, no carpet. They are also saw horses because I now have a jigsaw and need to cut wood to size. Next step might be a makita circular saw, all my electrics are makita and use batteries and btw I am very safety conscious. Just waiting for a dust extractor to arrive

Got to have things to look forward to, without involving busy AC, makes getting up joyful

I feel a bit faint you're going to get a circular saw craftyone! Please do be your very normal safety conscious self! Buster Keaton movies come to mind!

It's fantastic you are so self motivated and passionate about it all, my daughter is constantly questioning me - would I consider water colour painting, writing, crafting - I know she wants me to 'get involved' in something and not worry about me when she goes away for good. I do envy friends with adult children and grandchildren, that ten year gap really shows now. I was 37 when I had my son, 39 when I had my daughter. Ridiculous now I look back, I was so very exhausted working full time with two toddlers, my Mum couldn't help as she was disabled.

Just back from the village, roads are flooded so I've got to go the supermarket on a very roundabout route. The nearest village Tesco and Co-op prices are extortionate, it's worth a bit more diesel.

Will light the fire when I get back, it's so damp today, glad we have the Aga to dry our coats. Hopefully oil delivery soon and I can try the heating - no sign of the 'baffles' yet, I do so hope they find some before I sell the house, I couldn't bear to have the system replaced.

Enjoy your day, only noon and so dark!

Your daughter is right mosaics, its hard to think of it right now for you but later. Who wants to sit in a corner watching tv all day and twiddling thumbs, easy to fall into that trap or (for me) to go shopping to a supermarket for something to do. Much nicer to get on a course and meet people. Carving and tai chi are lined up now, two mornings a week, sorted. Not just moving to cope with for us but getting old while admitting that AC need to make their own lives, as we did. Its up to us, no-one does any of it for us, no matter how well meaning

When I first retired, I threw myself into all sort of things, charity work (I went out meal delivering), tried working in a charity shop - found that was not for me. Not a great crafter (although I have always enjoyed knitting), I joined, discussion groups, local history groups, reading groups, etc.etc.
After a few years I calmed down. I am a member of political party, but refuse to take on any sort of official role. Attend a once a week afternoon 'knit and natter' group. I am still a 'lowest' level judge in Womens gymnastics and do enjoy occasional competitions in London (although have taken the decision not to re-qualify in next cycle after the Tokyo Olympics.
TBH, nothing terribly wrong at my time of life just to enjoy taking it easy. I try to have something to do each day, but also enjoy watching programmes I have recorded on the television and relaxing.
At one time I used to feel terribly guilty at watching tv, unless i was also doing something else (usually knitting), but now I have lost that guilt and enjoy that at my time of life I can just chill out as and when I want.
I find it quite amazing how quickly each day seems to pass.
Obviously, at present I am still sorting out/clearing out, etc. etc. For those who enjoy going to all sorts of activities, that is wonderful, but nothing wrong in being able to accept that later life is for relaxing a lot.

I think you are all busy bees in different ways, very interesting to read about your interests Franbern. I am another who could never just sit with tv on, I had to be spinning or knitting, now I have so many nice knitted garments that I need to stop for a couple of years, hence the diversions

My brother was widowed exactly one year to the day after me and he threw himself into his passion of motor biking but as a blood biker and also GC minding and sea fishing. He retired a few weeks ago, I admire him, his zest for life, the fact that he never sat back and bemoaned his lot. He was wonderful to his wife who had a bad cancer. He does new things all the time, moto cross, shark fishing (they go back in) and will soon be joining a motor cycling group in vietnam. He is still a passionate blood biker

Totally agree with being active and having something to look forward to. That's why I go to sit fit on Monday mornings . We do 45 mins of exercise and then sit and a drink and natter before we go our separate ways. Craft group on Tuesday morning is for 2hrs. Lovely group of women different ages. It's nice to see what other crafts people are passionate about. There is a park 2 streets away for a quiet stroll. There is a church around the corner which has a tea and chat afternoon. I'm not a believer but it is open to anyone. All being well I 'll pop round on Thursday. I don't want my children to think just because mom lives close than they need to entertain me. Having the free bus pass is a bonus.

I try and plan my week as I cope better with things then. But I am always flexible. Everyone has their own ways of coping with things you just have to find what is best for you.

you have it sussed whiff, it breaks the week up nicely for you, its in my future planning too and that bus pass is such a good thing as our backstop

I am normally in bed now but am trying to quieten my brain and inner excitement. I spent hours in my lovely garage today, all lined with plywood and every wall is now full. It really has a nice calming atmosphere and I think is a hobbyist dream.

I have a lot of good stuff to get to the charity shop tomorrow, all stuffed into a lovely rolser shopping trolley that is also going. I don`t need two trolleys

Night all, time I went upstairs