Help calm me. House buying and selling stress. Part 6

Yes I agree, I would suggest going below the exhaust yourself if possible. If there is a hole then it can be repaired cheaply with holts gun gum repair bandage from halfords

I threw out 3 outer garments, none worn for at least a year, 2 old fleece jackets and one neat summer coat but it does not breathe and I cannot wear it. Had to throw, no charity shop is open here and no garment bins

I have been quietly thinking about the proposed `bungalow` for opposite me. No point moaning for the sake of it and I am closest to it. I looked for chalet bungalows today and found 2. The pointy roof end would be facing me but at an angle so no-one could see in, anyway I have my shutters that I always have tilted on that side. I quite liked the pointy ends facing so I am going to tell the developer today that I will write in support of it. He really is a nice man, wants to please everyone (as well as make money). This is karma inducing anyway, I will give him good vibes about my feelings about it. It is so instinctive of humankind to oppose things that they could actually learn to adapt to. Its all about `ok, how to I cope with it` rather than `oh no we don`t want it` The bending branch

How have I learnt to accept it? I went out and looked for this type of bungalow so I could see the height for myself. All I would need after is a very nice neighbour, female, that I could become good friends with

Great rationale, craftyone. I hope it's someone you could make friends with too.

Just popping in to say last week, whilst pushing my dog back from the beach in his pram, I had 'lights' in my eyes. Can't describe it but it was like a row of 'gold eyelashes' when I looked down. Lasted for about two minutes. I thought it might have been the exertion of pushing uphill, it's hard work

Was in the village today and it happened again - only for about a minute this time.

I managed to ring the optician this morning and apparently it's a pain free migraine. I had one about ten years ago, in one eye only, but it can affect both.

I am falling to bits!

Franbern hope you have a better night's sleep tonight. Wasn't until I moved here I very really had a good night's sleep. As soon as my head hits the pillow I'm asleep.

Had a nice time with my friend. She is a talented artist. Had 4 lovely watercolours on the wall. Her cottage is lovely. She has worked very hard on it. Had lovely carrot cake she had made. She is coming here in 2 weeks to see what it's like now.

By the time I had got home after shopping my decorator had finished . He put the curtain pole up and cleaned away all the no nonsense carpet covering . Be able to vac properly tomorrow and clean the window and put the voiles back up. My daughter and family coming the weekend to help me put the bed for in there together and put my bungalow back in order. Then that's all done inside for this year.

Hope to do some weeding tomorrow and plant some heathers.

Have a good evening everyone.

Franbern hope you had a good night's sleep. Ready to start whatever you have planned for the day.

Shandy57 hope you are feeling better today. And your eyesight isn't affected.

Well I am sure the fur will fly today at my son and daughter in law's. Since her mom has lived with them she has always had birthday and Christmas cards and presents from me. Her birthday is on Sunday so yesterday sent off her card and a boots gift card. I am not stopping what I have always done just because they have decided to have nothing to do with me. 9 weeks and not a word from my son. So be it . But I will not be intimidated or bullied by either of them to change how I always do things. One day they will wake up and need me and I will be waiting. Still love them all very much and haven't got it in me to hate them for it. So if my daughter in law bad mouth's me on that Reddit go ahead. I know and family and friends know I am a good person. Also I have an idea that my grandson has been born. Don't suppose they will bother to tell me anything about him. But I believe in Karma so what goes a round comes around.

My spare room has dried beautifully. Give the windows a clean and put the voiles up. I can pleat the curtains ready to be put up over the weekend. Can't wait to see it with the bed up and furniture back in.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Wonderful night sleep last night. No idea why I get nights like the previous one, but I do far too often, and it always wipes me out for a long time. When I was young, never had any problem sleeping, and did so in some very strange places.
And, of course, back then would sleep solidly - no need for night=time loo visits!!!

But, of course, older age has so much to recompense it - okay, more difficult sleeping, but then have so much less to do with my days and can have a lovely doze in my gorgeous recliner chair as I need. My body does not work perfectly any more - but, I have the time to just go along with anything it requires.

Looking back at my life, I can say with all honesty, that I am probably more relaxed and content than at any other time.

I had a wonderful childhood, but there was, of course,normal childhood and then teenage angst, enjoyed my later teens, but cannot say it was a 'relaxed' time. Wonderful few years with my small babies and children, but blighted by continual, and serious financial worries. By my late thirties I was seriously ill, and my forties are a period that I lost entirely. My fifties were a recovery time, and sorting out my life - hubbie left (after first shock, found that it was much better for me. Children all leaving home and still financial concerns.

Took me a very long time really to recover from the death of my youngest, and that blighted my sixties, apart from that it was a good decade, I moved house, and started work at the hospital. However, my ex-husband was always an unknown entity during this time, as I had (very stupidly) given him 50% ownership of my house. Much of the time he was fine, then, out of the blue, he would get very beligerant and I never felt totally secure there. My seventies were pretty good, but his absent presence loomed large at time.
Now, in a flat which is entirely and completely ONLY in my name, (he does not know my address or telephone no,), I have no responsibilities for, or to anyone else. No commitments - this is the reason I will not take on any charity work these days. Once I have done all that I wish to do to the flat, I can live off my state pension (and pension credit). Life is really very good. AND.......I really do plant at least a further 8 - 10 years (hopefully) like this.

So, my life summed up. My youngest daughter (whowas supposed to visiting during May Bank Holiday week), has just let me know she and her two girls will be visiting here for weekend at end of month. I am pleased that she has done this of her own volition, following our meet up last weekend in Southampton park. She is the one I have always had the most difficult relationship with - and, I take this that at last (at age of 45 yrs), she is becoming more mature. Think this has less to do with me and more to do with the fact that she is so much happier and content now she is settled in Eastbourne and out of Norther Ireland.

My eldest daughter is going to Devon at end of month for a week with her cousin (who is like a another sister to her), and it has been arranged for my daughter In WsM to take me down to visit them for one day there. And, she is coming to stay with me over the August bank holiday weekend.

That daughter will be celebrating her 50th in October, She has now arranged for a weekend at a Spa Hotel for herself, her sisters, her sister in law, her cousin and four friends. Sounds good. Quite strangely, her sister-in-law asked if brother could also attend. Now my is a wonderful man, gentle and caring, but with some very strong autistic behavior. Cannot imagine anything he would like less than a Spa weekend, particularly surrounded by his wife, his four sisters, plus

Sorry, no idea why this postedbefore I had finished
Was saying not really the sort of weekend my son would like. So, I am arranging to go to visit him, whilst his wife, etc are away that weekend. Will be nice for me to have him to myself for a couple of days.........and I know he hates being by himself, even for one weekend, but would not dream of preventing his wife going to this.

I was with him during the weekend of one of the twins Hen Weekend four years back, and that was a really enjoyable weekend.

Yesterday, I put u[ the small half parasol and base on my balcony. Took me quite time to work out a good place for this, and realised I should really, have bought a full size one. Never mind. this will do me this year, and I will see if I need a further one next summer. Not the most important thing - and this one takes up virtually no room as it sits flush against the high wall.

Sorry these posts are so long, suppose I use this just to chat with you all. Keep well everyone

Morning all, great to read your news.

I am so sorry for your sadness Whiff, and sorry there is nothing anyone can do. Big hugs. Enjoy your new bedroom, I hope your new bed is very comfortable.

I'm glad you bought the sunshade Franbern, I thought of you last night, I've got those white patches on my arms too.

I am so glad Captain Tom is to be knighted, how lovely.

I've got to research who will take my many boxes of bric a brac today and make some space in the garage, not looking forward to humping it into the car.

Enjoy your day whatever you are doing

whiff and Franbern, hugs and

Pottering today but I am getting things done, made a load of ginger biscuits and have lots of washing out. Riverford came today, potatoes in the box so I have prepped them to blanche and freeze. It changes the starch to resistant starch which has less calories, They freeze nicely

I did a small rummage in the airing cupboard and `found` 2 very nice pale cream jacquard bedspreads, 100% cotton and made in portugal, still in their packaging. I remember buying them a year ago. I am washing one at a time today, don`t like using cotton without washing first. They are large singles and perfect for these nights. I will be putting my grey waffle cotton beadspreads away for visitors or spares. They are also very comfortable, they breathe. Airing cupboard has a light socket, must put a bulb in

For anyone needing the dentist, like me, I am pleased at the precautions. I can't wait any longer, there is definitely something horrible happening to my tooth and I'm scared of getting an abscess. My own dentist is away, but I know he chooses his staff very carefully, I'm happy to see anyone there.

When I arrive I have to wait outside and phone to say I'm there. When I get in, I sanitise my hands and put my handbag/coat into a box in reception. The nurse will then take my temperature and if normal, I'll be taken to the dentist.

Monday at 9 am, horrible time to go but I'm grateful they have reopened.

My friend rang just now, she went to look at Birchington in Kent yesterday. They didn't get out of the car to look at the bungalow as they didn't like the surroundings, and after a walk on the seafront decided the area didn't meet their needs. She also commented on the strong smell of rotting seaweed.

Enjoy your pottering craftyone, I found it difficult giving away so much of my linen.

My widowed aunt is 83 and has just phoned me, she is so upset about her 82 year old friend who has just visited her in a highly agitated state. Her friend will only deal in cash and cannot understand or cope with all of life's admin, she is forgetting things minutes after being told and is very confused. She has received a letter saying her PO account containing her life savings has been closed. She has no idea why, and doesn't know where her money has gone. She has never used an ATM, she only withdraws money over the PO counter and pays all bills in cash.

She only has my aunt as a friend on the IOW, she does have a daughter she is estranged from on the mainland who occasionally rings my aunt for a 'progress check' - one adult grandson visits every couple of months. My aunt said she feels so sorry for her as she was so upset when she visited, she is completely confused, she thinks she may have the onset of dementia.

I don't know how to help - I just suggested my aunt ring the grandson (I think he's about 40) to let him know she is very worried his Grandma has become increasingly confused, and is vulnerable. Someone in her family needs to step up to the plate.

I'm pleased to say my aunt did phone the grandson, and he is coming over very early August. She is so relieved, she's been friends with this woman for over ten years, and the huge changes she's seeing have upset her greatly.

Surely, this lady can contact the Post Office (or someone can do so on her behalf), and explain how upset she is and they can say why (if) they are closing that account, and also give her details of withdrawals recently.

Not everyone on their 80's is vulnerable in that way. I know so may people in that decade of age,who are extremely 'with it'.

This morning had a zoom meeting with the local U3A people - we are setting up a new group locally for Conservation/eco/climate change type things. Whereas, I am part of this new set-up group, I do not want actually to go on any committee. About two years ago, I made a promise to myself NEVER, EVER again to go on any committee, just to remain one of the 'little' people!!!

whilst I was attending that meeting, my daughter got in touch to suggest we go t.o large park for picnic, and they have finally opened their large childrens play area. Had a nice time there, then back here for an hour. She has now put me on twitter - I understand my son posts on that reasonably often, so want to see that. Only people I am following are my own children.

Whiff, give it time and I am certain your son will re-start communication, hopefully, once the baby is born, his wife may be a little more settled, although she does sound a very unhappy lady.

Daughter has left now to go to end of term department staff party and I am relaxing and enjoying the glorious warm sunshine.

I didn't mean to imply everyone of that age is vulnerable Franbern, just my aunt's friend. She left school at 13 as her family needed her to work, and is hardly literate. My aunt couldn't get out of her what had happened when she visited the PO, she was so confused. I do hope the grandson can help and lift some of the responsibility from my aunt's shoulders.

Good morning everyone, hope you are all well,

After much thought we have decided not to proceed with the property we saw on Thursday. We listed the pros and cons and when all were considered the cons outweighed the pros. So, it's back to square one. This was the 14th place we have looked at so I figure we must be getting closer to finding the right one. We certainly have a much better idea of our priorities from looking at different properties.

Franbern, I know how you feel when one of those sleep disturbed nights happens. My sleep pattern has been terrible for years but is worse since came out of hospital. If I'm lucky I will sleep for 2 hours and then wake, I may or may not get back to sleep for ages if at all. Other nights I'll not even get an hour at a time. I constantly feel tired and totally washed out. Doctor prescribed me some sleeping tablets but they don't seem to make much if any difference. Some nights I'll be up 6 times, a good night is if I'm only up 3 times. It has been suggested that I try an electric blanket and see if that helps.

Just made a boiled fruit cake which is cooling on the bench as I type, it smells divine. Bad move as I will eat more than I should. A chocolate cake would have been better as I don't like them. It's surprising (not) just how much longer my baking lasts when children and grandchildren are not able to visit.

I'm pleased that I am able to drive again so can take myself off to the hairdresser and podiatrist without having to rely on hubby to do so. I do like my independence.

Have a good day everyone.

Sorry the house wasn't for you Spice101. But you at least know definitely what you want and don't. Hopefully you will fine the one soon. Glad you are feeling better and able to drive again.

Thank you for your wishes but I am patient and will wait for my son. Next month it's his and second son's birthday on the same day. Don't care my daughter in law things my cross stitch cards are lame. It's what I am making for them. Decided to put cheques in with their cards and it's up to them if they cash them or not. Balls in their court.

Weeded the one boarder yesterday and planted my heathers. Ordered more to fill up the side and across the top. It got very hot so had to come in. Had done a load of towels but the house the back of me must have had some paving or bricks cutting as clouds of dust came over. Stuck them in the tumble drier. Don't know if it's today or tomorrow my daughter and family are coming she will let me know later.

My varnish and paint brushes arrived yesterday so will one day take the plunge and put a couple of costs of varnish on the bedside table and shoe/ book/ craft rack. Must admit I am looking for to having a go.

Franbern I love reading your long messages. Long may they continue.

Have a good day everyone.

Spice, pity that the house was not for you. Fortunately, you do seem quite happily settled for a time in your rental, and the right property will suddenly appear for you.

Four years ago, when I first started to look for a flat in WsM, I selected one mainly (then) as I wanted ground floor and a garden. Nice little garden flat. When I lost that due to how my purchaser mucked us about I just gave up any idea of moving then, That flat was about a mile from town centre, and my daughter had been opposed to it, she felt I should be much closer to that. Coming from a London suburb, a mile sounded no distance.

Fortunate that happened, because by the time I started again more than two years later, I had totally changed what I wanted. No longer wanting either ground floor or a garden. Wanted added security of being up higher, and just a nice balcony. Last year when I was really intent on everything happening, I firstly selected a flat which had just been totally done up, very nicely by developer. Its lovely clean lines appealed to me, but I soon realised that it was not big enough and I did want either two bathrooms or (at the very least) a bathroom big enough for both a bath and a shower, etc.

So, when my sale fell through I happily stopped that one . Next offer I made and had was on a flat on the front. Had two bathrooms, but no garage (did have my own allocated parking space). Nice flat, good block, but as time went on the very high maintenance charges were concerning me, and it was on 3rd floor (was not sure if I wanted to go that high). And balcony, overlooking promenade was in a wind tunnel. So, when sale fell through again, I was not sorry to stop that.

Think, with each of these abortive purchases, my own priorities became more and more clear. Yes, two bathrooms, garage, near town centre, first floor preferred. balcony definitely, (more important than communal gardens, Spacious living room -that is where I would be spending most of my time. Close to public transport. Reasonable maintenance fees. Not interested in 'views' - what the flat was like inside was the most important. I also preferred a block with a pleasant, welcoming and largish entry foyer, Saw one block if nice flats, but there were long narrow corridors between them which I found oppressive.

So, that almost entirely brought it down to one particular block of flats that I had originally viewed back three and half years earlier. And, then again another flat there earlier last year. All my tick list was covered - and during the period I had hesitated that flat had fallen by ten grand!!

This does give me everything I wanted. , Five minutes from town centre, and beach, bus stop outside, First floor (entire ground floor is garages for flats -so nobody beneath me, large balcony, very large living room, en-suite shower room plus guest bathroom. Reasonable size kitchen Only problem was that second bedroom, whereas long and roomy, is not wide enough to have a full size double bed in it permanently. My only compromise, when I realised how little I would need that double bed in there and EVERYTHING ELSE was perfect.

I have actually put in that room a sofa bed which opens up to full double size, and that works perfectly.

So pleased I dithered and changed my mind each time, has given me perfect flat (for me), and every day I marvel at how well this suits me. Worthwhile taking time.

Argos have just been and delivered replacement dining room chair and taken away the damaged one. Looks like going to be another warm day today. Am thinkiing of going to local large Garden Centre.

Sorry that nice house wasn't for you Spice. For me, a second viewing to decide if I want it means it's not for me. I have to know instantly it's the one.
Whiff I admire your tenacity where your son is concerned. It's good to keep the communication going as things may well change.
Everyone seems to be busy and energised by the sunnier weather. Its lovely to hear the stories.
Our daughter us looking to exchange at the end of this coming week with two weeks to completion. Nearly at the finishing line, but one can never be totally sure.

Ellianne fingers and toes crossed for your daughter. You will all give a sigh of relief once exchange has taken place.

Franbern it's funny how our priorities change when it comes to choosing a new home. I was all set for a 3 bed house and the jaundice proved that you not be possible. My son told me when I first mentioned moving go for bungalow but I wanted a house. But he was right. What I picked is perfect for me. Needs all my wants and needs.

Cleaned the bedroom window , voiles back up and run the vac . Screwdriver fully charged ready for my daughter and gang to come over later. They are having lunch with me as well. Just have a cuppa before I pleat the curtains ready to go up. Must make sure the one end is sewn in after last time.

I'm rather envious reading all your posts as the warm sunny weather has escaped us in South West Wales. As you have been basking in sunshine we have had to put up with high cloud all the week after torrential rain that went on for hours on Monday. I feel that summer has gone for another year again!

Whiff, I do like you idea of sending cheques. Means they have to be pro-active, Be interesting to see how they re-act. I do not send pressies to my adult children, Only these days to g.children. I always said these would stop when they reached 18 yrs, but did give money last year to g.son who was 19 and will probably do so in a few weeks time for his 20th birthday My own rules can be broken by me!!!!

Ellianne, your daughters sale/purchase seems to have all gone through pretty quickly,. Do hope this final couple of weeks will see a totally happy conclusion.

we have been trying to book a restuarant for belated birthday meals. Seven of us - all from same bubble household. Seems to be a lot of confusion as to rules. Some restaurants are telling us that they are only permitted to have SIX people on each table (albeit from TWO households), suppose we could book one table for three and one for four. Other restaurants say they can book in for EIGHT per table from two households.

Cannot find any definitive rule on this anywhere.

Morning all, I've woken up to steady rain.

Great to read all your news.

Spice101 I'm keeping my fingers crossed another property comes up for you soon. Good to see how you made your decision Franbern, painful as the journey was. Have you made a list of must haves/nice to haves? You might like this website to print off the first/second viewing sheets, it is free to join. I'm amazed you are driving so soon, well done you! I offered to help an older couple who rent a cottage at the golf club (in their 80's) when her husband had his knee done - they asked me to get their paper, but as they had an account I had to get it from their village shop which was slightly out of my way. I hadn't realised they wanted it first thing in the morning, I felt the pressure as I could see him at his window as I walked down! He said he would do it again after four weeks - and I was very surprised to get a bottle of wine and a box of chox as a thank you. His wife is from London like me, she's never settled up here either.

www.moveiq.co.uk.

I'm a bit bored researching on line now, I'm having trouble choosing my third county to visit. After all these weeks I've found you can search for 'bungalows in the UK' on Zoopla - Scotland is so much cheaper, but I can't face the cold. I didn't protect my skin properly from the cold winds up here, and have rosy cheeks now because of broken veins, the wind up here is so very cold. I've found a cream that covers it up, but have been lazy lately, I've not worn makeup for weeks. Think I'd have to wear a balaclava there!

Fingers crossed for your daughter's exchange Ellianne, a stressful day of waiting.

Enjoy your day whatever you are doing

Thank you all for posting your news and goings-on in your lives, it is just like having a conversation that we all feel a part of

At long last I have managed to clear my steel topped butchers block, all except a most useful chopping board. So it is taking more than a year to settle, obviously much slower on ones own. Muddled along for a year, getting the feel of it and now, hopefully, the final `inexpensive` tweaking

Cushions on sofa are now completely done as from this morning, the whole kit caboodle has not been anywhere close to the cost of a new sofa and I have simply upcycled everything apart from the base and arms which are dark leather in super condition. I have 4 large cushions on there and 2 taller narrow cushions, it looks very cosy, lighter and matches the rug and cloth on the round coffee table in the opposite far corner

My edroom was started the other day, today I managed to find the last 2 muji boxes, we used to have a tall shallow bathroom cupboard with 4 shelves and the 8 muji boxes did perfectly in there for 10 years. I have taken whicker boxes out of some drawers and have fitted 6 muji into one drawer and have shiften consumables toothpaste etc from under the bed. Out of sight was certainly out of my mind, I kept buying toothpaste

I feel loathe to take any of my good solid whicker to the cs, later when they open, so I am going to keep them somewhere like the garage for now. No understairs storage cupboard here. I will finally decide next year

No point in me pretending that I will not be using underbed storage, of course I will but I will be more long-term selective. I do feel as though I want the whicker out, I have rows in drawers and have ordered more cheap wham boxes. A few came yesterday and they are phenomenal value. I have ordered a few more, thay are mostly out of stock now, £2, £3 a box, from my most favourite kitchen shop in dorset, not lakeland

I am waiting for a heavy cotton honeycomb blanket to motly dry outside, then it will have a quick whirl in the tumbler and will come out of there softer. These are definitely not for removing, I was shocked at the price for 100% cotton single but a large single. I am part ready for a nice long cycle on my electric bike, need to get out and a bit further than the garden

It's interesting how our plans for what type of house we move to changes. I knew I did not want a flat as the nicer ones have very high maintenance fees, which is a lot out of a pension. Bungalows are very rare in my area but originally looked for a modern house. Most are so small I felt claustrophic having always lived in older houses. The first house I had an offer on was an 80s house needing work, in the area I originally wanted, but it fell through as they took it off the market. Prices had dropped by then in my area and had to reduce my house (Brexit effect in London). I started looking in a nice area further out, so cheaper, with mostly 30s houses. I lost the first house there, which needed work, as my buyers dropped out. I was stressing about finding good builders and all the upheaval of larger jobs. I ended up with a 30s house in pretty good condition and love my new house and area.
My two key things I wanted were to be near shops as I don't drive. My old house wasn't near shops. I also wanted a downstairs loo, or space to put one in. I needed enough space for the regular family weekend stays.

Checked my email and had one from Cross Country - they've released tickets for late August so I'm all booked up, with passenger assistance, for Broadstairs. Barclaycard has nearly melted!

good progress shandy

I forgot about family zoom in 30 minutes, I have to whisper but I don`t know if I 100% want it today but heyho, ds has made the effort as always, so I will gladly be there. I did extra jobs today and went on a longish cycle so am feeling a wee bit zapped. Dates will give me instant energy, I will eat 2 in a mo and brush my hair