Downsizing. Have to but don’t want to

Is it possible to divide it into a couple of flats?

Or honestly, if you can manage now just stay and move when you really have to not because you think you might have to somewhere in the future.

When it really becomes a necessity you could feel differently. I knew it was time to give up the family home when it felt like a millstone round my neck and I did it then without regret.

Do it while you’re still fit enough. It is a wrench but living in a more easily manageable home, with lower bills, is a joy. So much worry (and work) lifted from your shoulders. If you wait until you are less fit, maybe alone, you will be trapped in a deteriorating house that you perhaps can’t afford to heat properly and that would be really miserable. I cried over downsizing but it was absolutely the right thing to do and I have happy memories of our old house which can’t be taken away.

We downsized to a 3 double bed cottage, but still with a large garden, which we enjoy. My advice would be not to make a big leap to a very small property, you could feel cramped.
Make a list of the advantages of your current house and try to replicate them in the house you move to. Once the decision is made start clearing. We used a removal packing service, so that we weren’t involved with the removal.
As for the emotional side, for us it was head over heart. We had a lunch where our DCs and their families came to say goodbye to the old house.
A big wrench, but find the right property to move to and it will be fine.

Good point J52. For instance we had large rooms in our old house and made sure we had good sized rooms in the new one. Not easy to find but we managed it. We wouldn’t have been happy moving somewhere with small rooms, would have felt boxed in.

It is heart wrenching leaving a much loved home we did it 20yrs ago and I can still close my eyes and walk myself through that house its so true that you can take your family memories with you they never go away.

My cousins made the move a couple of years ago. Similar circumstances and ages to yourselves. Honestly I've never seen such a transition. Completely happy with their new lifestyle and no maintenance to worry about. Totally positive. They are still in touch with old neighbours and have actually been the catalyst for a pair of them moving. Just do it?

Lilypops I've been half-heartedly looking for years but nowhere seems suitable size or location wise. DH is not a bit keen on moving but I know the garden will get too much for us, probably is already. We should have done it a few years ago.
A few people I know who did downsize to bungalows say it's the best thing they did but no sooner are good ones on the market than they are sold.

If you can find somewhere in a location you know and like, then I'd go for it.

Could you take a holiday Lilypops?

You could rent a holiday home for a couple of weeks. Choose a house and an area like that you would downside to and then live there as you were at home...cook meals, sit in the garden, go for walks and come home for a cuppa.

There, away from the day to day, your circling concerns and all your memories you can see how it feels to live somewhere else. Is it convenient, easy, comfortable and a weight off your mind? A blessed relief? Or do you miss home badly and feel like a fish out of water.

After really experiencing how it is you might feel clear about what to do next. Even if you don't you will have had a relaxing break and that might do you both the power of good.

Please do let us know how you get on. Good luck.

We're looking in the same area, within about 20 miles. We thought of moving nearer DC but they could always move again for work so that's not always a good idea.

Starting up again in a new area where you know no-one, having to move GP, dentists etc at 88 might not be a good idea.

I moved from a large four bedroom house to a bungalow. I was rattling about in it all myself. I decided I wanted a two or three bedroom bungalow so it was big enough for visitors and a small garden easy enough to manage. I started the process by clearing out a room at a time. I visited the tip many times, threw out rubbish, gave away family stuff to my children and also went to charity shops. It was very cathartic. It also helped me emotionally move out. I found a bungalow I liked which was semi detached rather than detached but it was ideal. So don't rule out anything. Because I was moving to a smaller property, I had money to do up my new place the way I wanted. A house isn't a home. A home is the people and the memories. You won't lose those.
If you truly can't bear the thought of leaving, could you live on one floor and close off rooms?

For what it’s worth, I think the time to make the move is before you need to, not after. Plus it’s a seller’s market at the moment,which will apply to you as a buyer also of course.

You cannot live in the past, though it’s difficult to think of uprooting I know.

Have you viewed some properties at all? Maybe if you do you could be surprised by what you see and really imagine yourself living in a place. Nothing to lose just by having a good look round.

Choose the area/location you like and then be flexible on the outside appearance of a place...just book some viewings and have a very open mind. You never know what's behind a front door and that you could fall in love with.

I would not have looked at the place I am in now if the estate agent hadn't persuaded me to just pop inside [with me grumbling], although I was already happy with the location. He thought is was a gem...he was right.

As soon as I was in the hall it felt so right, light and well proportioned good sized rooms, higher ceilings than usual, lovely gardens, it had all been loved. You'd never know from the outside. I've been here 11 years now, no reason to move.

It's an awful thought, isn't it.

Can you stay put and get a gardener and a cleaner - maybe take a lifetime mortgage to pay for it.

Peasblossom

Is it possible to divide it into a couple of flats?

Or honestly, if you can manage now just stay and move when you really have to not because you think you might have to somewhere in the future.

When it really becomes a necessity you could feel differently. I knew it was time to give up the family home when it felt like a millstone round my neck and I did it then without regret.

Peas blossom. Yes , we have said in the past , Why not wait till we have to move, then we will knows it is the right time, but my worry is will we be able to do this, although we are fairly fit, we both do have the inevitable joint aches and pains , will leaving it be to late, will we be able to , I know from friends how stressful it all can be,
I do thank all you lovely Grans who have replied to my post this morning. It helps to see another point of view.

I know how hard this is moving out of a family home as I kept hesitating----as it was running away with my money ( savings )
Again, it was a 3 storey Victorian villa on the sea-front and had been the family home since 1943.

I won't pretend that still after 20 years I think about the place with both happiness and sadness, but it would have been impossible to keep up its Grade II status as maintenance was high. This was after H had died and I had to bite the bullet. I actually managed another 7 years before the finances hit rock bottom.

I do have a large framed art print of the house as a keepsake and of course one or two items of furniture, space allowed in my now one-bedroom flat.
As you get older, the bother of moving would really get to you and you'd find yourself staying put, unless you brace yourself for the more sensible option of downsizing.

There's no way I could have kept going as I was, both healthwise and financially---added worries and we don't need that as we age. Think long and hard but I so understand how you feel.

I've talked about this to assorted people over a number of years. The majority opinion is downsize around retirement age.
Good luck lilypops

I wonder if you could think about this in stages?
Maybe start by going on a few viewings every couple of weeks or so?
Then, could you rearrange the accommodation to allow you to use just 2 floors?
This could give you opportunity to de clutter those rooms slowly, and stop heating the 3rd floor.
All of this would be a help when you come to move anyway.
I wonder if its harder thinking about it than doing it? Emotionally I mean.

It’s a worry. I just asked because I have known people who moved because of the future and then made themselves very very unhappy in the present, to the point of being ill.

A sense of place is very important to some people. Just like plants they can’t be uprooted and thrive.

I loved my little house that I moved to but the time was right for me.

Would you stay in the same area?

Peasblossom

It’s a worry. I just asked because I have known people who moved because of the future and then made themselves very very unhappy in the present, to the point of being ill.

A sense of place is very important to some people. Just like plants they can’t be uprooted and thrive.

I loved my little house that I moved to but the time was right for me.

Would you stay in the same area?

Peasblossom , yes. We would try to stay in the same area , we love it where we are, near the train station , bus stops , Doctors surgery. Parks. All within a 5 minutes walk , also DH gave up driving two years ago so I do all the driving , he would still want to have all these amenities within walking distance also near to a couple of pals he meets once a week for a walk and a chat, and I wouldn’t want to deprive him of these ,

We have viewed a few houses over the years, but nothing came near to what we liked ,and those we liked we couldn’t afford , so it just got shelved for another day , but now it’s more realistic to look seriously and make up our minds ,but oh so hard to do ,

Are you worried about inheritance? If not maybe raise a lifetime mortgage and get the house into good shape for the next twenty years?

View the viewings(?) As browsing. Not buying. If you unexpectedly found your hearts desire then so be it.
But the purpose of viewing g is to adjust your mindset to what is out there and to take small steps to help with the emotional wrench.

My granny used to say ‘ If in doubt...do nowt’. I’m rather inclined to think you should stay as you are for now. You’re happy, and a move may change all of that.

Is there any way you could heat just the rooms you use, to the temperature you need, and then keep the rest of the house ticking over, so as to keep damp at bay etc? Maybe you could get advice on this. I did have a friend once who did something similar, but the heating was just off in the other rooms. We were told this is no good, because the heated areas get drained to the non heated areas.

I think you’ll know when it’s really time. Your happiness together counts for so much.

I downsized as I felt I must. Is it part of the human condition that we often think of 'what might have been' or is it just me? I'm in a small new-build with two bedrooms, I 'lost' a garage, kitchen/diner and conservatory with this move.

I still hanker after what I once had, especially the bigger kitchen but I remind myself that it's warmer and easier to look after. Swings and roundabouts, as they say.