"Popping in" on someone without notice.

Bijou that's awful.
Perhaps someone on GN lives close.

Personally I think that to call on anyone unannounced is totally arrogant as it completely robs the unsuspecting person of their freedom to say "go away - I'm in the middle of baking, I've got a list of phone calls to make, I'm listening to a play on the radio, I'm too tired today to even get dressed, I've not washed the pots and the sink's full, I just want to be alone". I wouldn't dream of popping in to see anyone without arranging it in advance.

No, it's not arrogant.

It might be that they are the kind of people who would love to have unexpected visitors.

Bijou
Do you have any kind neighbours who could pop in for a ?

Bijou I dont think I live near you but I do know that in some areas there are Befriending Services.
I know there is one in our area run by a lovely, kind woman but Age UK run some too..

www.ageuk.org.uk/services/befriending-services

...to call on anyone unannounced is totally arrogant...

You may think so. Not everybody thinks so. Nor does everybody think it's rude. Some of us like the fact that we don't need to make appointments to see family and friends. I don't care if the house is a mess, or I am a mess. Sometimes that's the way it is. My friends know that. Sometimes they are a mess too. Big deal. Of course it's very different for those WFH.

Some people think that having to coordinate and arrange visits is arrogant and rude

To each their own

What a lot of grumblers !! Yes, I prefer poppers in to text just to be sure I'm here. If I'm working, I'm working but I still try to make time to stop for cuppa with them. Yes, I have to make up for lost time later but aren't people the most important elements in our lives ? I thought Covid lockdowns and isolation had taught us that. Open your house and open your heart - it will show in your face!! Or do you want a face like a squeezed old lemon??

It’s a pleasure to see friends pop in unexpectedly. All are welcome. In SE., its odd that you can be invited for tea - and that’s what you get, a cup of tea. How rude.
In our home you would get a snack (sandwich and cake at least) more likely soup or dinner. Can’t figure out why in our area, some are so very mean with their time and food. Big chandeliers and no manners.

Black sheep 46 - beautiful said. I just don’t mind the ‘popiners’

I wish someone would pop in. I'd probably drag them in and not let them out for hours. I never pop in on anyone else, always wait for an invite. It's a long wait.

I never pop round on the off chance, and I dont like unexpected visitors. The only people I dont mind unexpected visits from are my sons and granddaughters.

In SE., its odd that you can be invited for tea - and that’s what you get, a cup of tea. How rude

No, it's a matter of calling food and drink by their correct names.
"Come round for coffee" might mean coffee (or tea) with biscuits or even cake.
If I was invited for tea I wouldn't expect lunch or dinner.

Tea is a beverage, not a meal.

I would never just rock up at anyone's home if they weren't already expecting me. The only people who might come to my house unannounced are my own adult offspring and even then I prefer to have a quick message beforehand, so I'm not either out with the dog, or just setting off to the post office or whatever. Anyone other than the kids wouldn't be invited in anyway, unless it's my lovely neighbours who will always have a specific and entirely justifiable reason.

I realy hate pop in visitors. These days everyone has a fone, no need for anyone to surprise me by calling by. Some of my neighbours have holiday homes in my village, they ALWAYS pop in and I hate it. My car is in the drive so they know im home, I cant hide. I honestly feel like i live in a glass bowl, stripped of my privacy. I have tried all the usual excuses as to why i didnt hear the doorbell, I was in the shower, bathroom, toilet, drying my hair, on the fone, ...... nothing works. Grrrrrrrrr.

Its not rude or mean to discourage visitors if you are WAH. If you were employed and working at an other location they would not be able to "pop in" so why should they be able to because your home has an office? There is a naive conception that self employed people or those who WAH as not doing a proper job and are there for the convenience of others.

I once had a cheeky neighbour who asked me to "take in a parcel" on the grounds that I always had my Tesco delivery on a friday so she "knew I would be in". I told her I could cover the morning but not the afternoon. She told me it was an "all day delivery" so I suggested a number of viable alternatives such as re-arranging the delivery, leaving a note on the door (for it to be left in a safe place) or asking another NDN to cover the afternoon.

"But you are the only one whose in during the day"

Bit of moral blackmail there! So its somehow my responsibility to look after your post!

I told her that I would be working on a complex project in my office and would probably not hear the door.

"Well its a pity that your going to be in all day and cant do a favour for a neighbour."

I reminded her of all the times she had whizzed past me in her car on my way into the estate, knowing i was on my way home, and never once stopped to offer me a lift.

I also reminded her that I was not a postal depot.

Where is ‘SE’ please? Is it south east England, a London postcode…?

I always seem to be in a tip if someone calls unexpectedly and I never keep cake ready, too tempting for me. I take my neighbours parcels but we do help each other if needed. I do prefer notice, so I can get cake and milk if someone is travelling from my last village or further

One of my sisters had a pop-in neighbour (80s) my sister was always busy and soon that pop-in became an absolute nuisance, sister had to keep her door locked as neighbour would ring and walk in.

Covid has been very helpful tbh, to be able to draw that line in the sand. Neighbours call for this and that and I have managed to keep them on the doorstep, those that I don`t want as my `best friends`. I feel old enough to do this, privacy while being helpful, very important

in the 1980s

Like Karmalady I always seem to be in a bit of a mess if anyone calls unexpectedly. If I’m all tidy & straight with nice cake & biscuits in the cupboard and time on my hands no one calls (then I attack the cake & biscuits
I remember as a child in the 60’s/70’s cousins, old aunts & uncles, old friends of my parents etc would occasionally pop round quite unexpectedly on a Sunday afternoon, we had no phone so it was a total surprise and I always loved it, I always found Sunday’s quite boring. I think my mother used to panic a bit initially as she was always in a bit of a muddle but we all enjoyed the company. Different times though with nothing much else to do on Sundays, no shops etc open.
I’d rather have a text or prearrange visits with friends now, my DC & GC are welcome anytime but they usually text first to see if I’m around. I’m on a cul de sac and all the neighbours are lovely, friendly & helpful with parcels etc but we aren't in and out of one another’s houses & that suits me fine.

LovelyLady

It’s a pleasure to see friends pop in unexpectedly. All are welcome. In SE., its odd that you can be invited for tea - and that’s what you get, a cup of tea. How rude.
In our home you would get a snack (sandwich and cake at least) more likely soup or dinner. Can’t figure out why in our area, some are so very mean with their time and food. Big chandeliers and no manners.

I live in the southeast so my reaction to your how rude is ?
Just incase you can’t see that clearly it’s a middle finger gesture.

Germanshepherdsmum

Where is ‘SE’ please? Is it south east England, a London postcode…?

Wherever SE of anywhere in the country where they only offer a cup of tea without a meal if you call in unexpectedly at any time of day.

MerylStreep

LovelyLady

It’s a pleasure to see friends pop in unexpectedly. All are welcome. In SE., its odd that you can be invited for tea - and that’s what you get, a cup of tea. How rude.
In our home you would get a snack (sandwich and cake at least) more likely soup or dinner. Can’t figure out why in our area, some are so very mean with their time and food. Big chandeliers and no manners.

I live in the southeast so my reaction to your how rude is ?
Just incase you can’t see that clearly it’s a middle finger gesture.

I'll bring my own roast dinner next time I pop round to yours, MeryStreep ?

Years ago people used to pop in to my house without phoning beforehand which was annoying when I had studying to do.

Callistemon
Is that it? A roast dinner. Where’s the desert and drinks. ?

I think that gransnet touched on this subject the other day.
Maybe it's best to phone or text first .

I've popped in on a couple of people with get well /birthday /thank you flowers and chocolates and have had mixed reactions .

As I'm washing my father or cleaning out a commode I hate people popping in .
I didn't used to .

One of old friends has been really off and moody with me for months .Her birthday is very soon .
Do I pop in ?
No definitely not .
I'll send her something.

One of my father's friends sent him a Xmas card with a list of complaints about my not allowing him to see Dad .
As he can't see -
I read it to him .
We laughed .
The card was left in a plant pot in the rain because the person in question can't get up the steps !
Actually it's not the first letter of complaint .