Help calm me. House buying and selling stress *Part 9*

Thanks Franbern, I've just been struggling with the tip. I had put aside £20, and I've just taken £10 back. I've got to start being less generous, it will be my eventual undoing. I've put the big doors I'd removed in the hall way ready, taken the rails off the wardrobe, and put my black sacks of clothes into the lounge. Water and lemonade in the fridge for him. Think I'm ready. I'm so very relieved it is happening, I couldn't sleep worrying and I do realise worrying is pointless.

Well done to your grandchildren, and I hope you do see them graduate. My husband was so proud of our daughter going to Uni, she was the first in his family, she was so sad he missed it. I think I told you I recently had her graduation photo copied to send my estranged Dad, I had made an effort but still looked a mess. Wasn't helped by the heat and my swollen feet and extremely tight shoes!

Why are you adding on to his quote? He has quoted a sum for doing this work, that is exactly what you pay him, no more.

Honestly, Shandy, he will not expect anything extra, and may even be embarrassed by it. Assuming he does the job he is being paid for properly, and cleanly and disposes of everything, then ensure he gets paid within 24 hours of sending in his invoice. That is the best way of thanking a good workperson.

oh no shandy, no tip. Franbern is spot on with the post above

Fran well done to your GC and to Shandy's D. I have a lovely pic of myself and my son when he graduated, something to treasure.

As for tips, I never know what to do; when to give, when not and how much. Think K&F are correct in saying that he quoted a price for the job, so that's what you pay in total. When I had my gate fitted, I paid the said amount and that goes straight into his pocket, so no tip.

He was a good worker, but didn't reply to my request to assemble and put up my wooden archway, he lives in Kent and was doing a few jobs nearby, so just fitted me in, shame he's not local, good to have someone like that one hand.

I had a guy phone to come round to give a quote, from 'my bulder.com'. He told me it would be an all day job and would cost £200, I said 'that's a lot, the archway only cost £108'.
I said I'd let him know. My son and I put it up in 1hr 15mins and it cost me a Chinese takeaway. . I put this on his feedback.

I must say, that Shandy's post above is the very first time I have EVER heard of anyone giving tips to anyone carrying out paid work in a home!!!

Except for my window cleaner, never pay in cash to anyone, even for small jobs, - so no going directly into someones pocket I require a written quote, and an invoice when job is completed, then pay either by cheque or bank transfer. I offer tea or coffee and a couple of biscuits and that is the end of it. When I had my kitchen completely done recently, I did ask the project manager about providing tea/coffee and was told 'No, thanks- we bring our own in flasks'.
Really do not understand this idea of tips. I know it still expected in many restaurants, (sadly) - and hairdressers. Even taxi drivers do not seem to expect these anymore - fortunate - as I do not give them.

A good workperson, will have sent you a proper quotation for the job, which covers all materials and time to be taken, etc. Assuming this is all kept to, then immediate payment (upon receipt of final invoice), and, perhaps, a recommendation on appropriate site. Obviously if a friend or neighbour carries out a small job for you totally gratis, then I would probably get them a small gift as a Thank You.

Thinking back, my decorator was raving about my paint. It was so good for ceilings being dead matt. I over-ordered because it was german made and I was worried about not being able to get it. I had no idea how much to get and wanted it in before the decorator came

Suffice to say that I had a good amount left including unopened tubs, I gave some to dd and she did not want any more. The decorator was so kind, offered to move this and that, I never needed his help but his kindness stuck with me. On his way out, after the last job, I gave him the remaining unopened paint and he did me a big favour too, by taking it away. I think for him it was like karma

I do tip my hairdresser, only a couple of £ but I think I will stop this now, an oap needs those ££s more than a salon owner. I don`t tip anyone else. They all earn more than I do

yogi, that must have given you a really good feeling

I have to jump out of my chair if I start to feel dozy after 6, I went upstairs and finished sorting my paperwork, really rather satisfying and I have quite a pile to shred for my compost bins.

I tried to make head or tail about that fixed annuity of £79 a month, something to do with being contracted out. I gave up in the end and read a book. It is what it is. We placed too much trust in what the company insurers and ifa recommended in the 80s. I do remember, before the internet, that we paid far far too much for various insurances. It was life-changing when we could actually begin to compare companies and that applies to comparative energy costs

Shandy hope you have replaced that tenner back into your own wallet!!!
It is very 'muggy' here this morning. Around 1,00 am this morning, I suddenly felt so much better and knew I was really getting over this virus. Whenever I am ill or even unwell, I do have that time, when I can actually feel myself being better. Lovely, normal nights sleep (only having to go to loo twice), even waking late this morning and not getting up until 7.45. Have done a little bit of cleaning, washing done yesterday needs to be put away. Just ordered a new cutlery insert for kitchen drawer - really do not like the one put in by fitters.

Cards written, each with a fiver in them, for those two clever young g.children. I have a policy of not giving 'rewards' but do like to recognise achievement - and there is a vast difference between those two things!!!. Have a standard amount for g.children (none of it very large), for getting good results at GCSE and also A Levels (or equivalent), and also when finally getting their Bachelors Degree.

We, evidently, had rain here during the night. Although two windows open in my bedroom, the way those are situated I never hear rain here, but when I opened curtains this morning I actually saw puddles on roads and pavements.
My patio balcony really does need a good clean, lots of dead petals clinging there, my potted petunias seem have gone mad this year, masses and masses of them - actually become rather straggly. The Impatiens (when did these change their names from Busy Lizzies?), are also doing incredibly well.

Will start getting myself back to normal this weekend and return to my groups next week.

Morning all, builder turned up at 9 am and has successfully taken down the huge fitted unit and fitted wardrobe. Unfortunately his van wasn't big enough to take both away, so I'm left with a pile of boards and shelving in the front garden. I've asked the floor company if I can have permission to put it into their skip.

I didn't tip him, but always have tipped trades, as my husband did. He used to say 'have a drink on us', but thinking about it, that was probably because he worked for the Brewery!

MMM......if his quoted cost including taking away and disposing of all this, then he has not fulfulled his contract. Hope it has been shown in his reduced charge.

Any best not to encourage alcohol drinking. Not good for anyone except, of course, breweries. Seriously, back in the past when jobbing builders may have struggled to get decent wages, etc. this sort of 'tipping' may have occurred, but not these days, when anyone, any good in the building trades can receive very high renumerations.

He knocked £20 off, charged £230. Felt sorry for his next customer, he was drenched in perspiration.

I'm pleased to say the floor replacement company will allow me to put the remainder in their skip, if there is room once the floors have been taken up. I'll be making room!

I'm really tired today, I think I was running on adrenalin for a few days there!

Shandy well done, another job completed on the road towards getting those floors all done. Hopefully, after that you can really start to get together with you new home.

After having an excellent morning I have felt very tired this afternoon. Not a real problem as there is really nothing for me to do.

Karmalady, I have ordered a silicone liner for my small airfryer. Whereas the little drawer is pretty easy to wash each time I use it. thought it would make it even less work for me with one of these washable liners.

I am finding more and more than I am seeking and using as many labour saving devices as I can. Does make life so much easier and more pleasant. Fortunate living at a time when there are so much out there.

That's a good idea Franbern, I didn't know they existed. I had a revolting experience with a veggie burger, it left the drawer all black and greasy and the tray underneath was full of fat, it took a while to clean.

all is well that ends well shandy, yes your stress levels will have been high for quite some time. I am very glad that you are now heading for the next stage

I use silver foil under the drip tray if I am going to get some fat drip, silicone is a wonderful thing, I cut a circle out of it and might use it on top of a cake to stop it browning too fast

I agree about wanting to use labour saving devices, especially good is my roomba, he is now elderly but as sprightly as they come. I have had to force myself to do anything this afternoon, I nodded off after lunch too. I think it is the after affects of being too hot and today is humid too. I went out and treated myself to a few apricots and 3 large plums for the weekend

I was thinking about labour saving devices and we are so lucky to have automatic washing machines. Washday was very hard going in the 50s

Shandy as your wardrobe is out why don’t you offer it on trash nothing.com? Someone might take it!

I fell asleep this afternoon too, and felt a bit spaced out when I woke up. I'm reading a lovely book by A S Byatt, can't find it to give you the title!

What a good site midgey! Unfortunately the wardrobe was glued together in the joiner's workshop, and had to be smashed to bits to remove it. I'm going to have to learn how to fill the holes left in the walls, and redecorate both of the rooms.

IT seems all to come all right in the end despite all the difficulties but it makes me nervous about starting the process.If only it could be made simpler.

I have to leave the site for a while, stay safe and well everyone

Hope everything is OK with you Shandy Take care, I look forward to seeing you back soon.

I am reading this thread with interest as I was a property conveyancer for 30 years.

Buying and selling together with divorce can be two of the most stressful things in life.

As a conveyancer, you need to keep in touch with clients, always ring them back if they ask for a call. Explain at each stage what is happening. They will still get stressed at times which is understandable. I used to tell my clients they were paying me to do the worrying. ?

Always try and be available to speak to clients.

The system does need to be changed to stop chains as they do in Scotland.

It is good to have time out sometimes, look after yourself shandy and try and get some RnR before the next stage

I am thinking of labour saving devices that I use often and others that I do not use so much

I have made bread all my life and have a new panasonic bm, the one that makes sourdough. I use it regularly. Then I cut slices with my slicing machine, I use that regularly

I don`t use my dishwasher much nor my tumble dryer and although the latter is handier in the winter. I could do without it

I have a nice kmix food mixer, the big one plus shredding and grating attachments. I no longer use it as I hardly make cakes any more. I have a kmix hand mixer which is useful to make the occasional cake for visitors. I have a magimix processor, I have to keep it out or I forget to use it but it is good for lots of kitchen prep jobs

I have a hand blender, it sings and dances and is useful. A vitamix, also sings and dances and is useful. A soup maker which is sometimes useful but the jury is out

These are only some of my appliances but to be fair, several were bought a long time ago when I had more than me to cook for. Thinking this through was a good exercise, it makes me realise that I have items that I could give away in the future. At some stage I might bite that bullet but not yet

A sociology review put the invention of the domestic washing machine as the single most important item which freed up women. Instead of the previous two to three days of washing and drying, etc. it could all be carried out in a couple of hours. Alongside that came improved materials so less need of ironing (many of us do virtually none these days),

My Mother went out to work - obviously no washing machine, indeed no on-tap hot water!! She used a bagwash weekly and a monthly Best Wash. The bagwash things (all packed into a pillowcase), were just put through a commercial washing machine and then put back into that pillow case. Best Wash was dried, starched and ironed.

I have NEVER had to lay a fire, although can well remember watching my Dad do so each morning, cleaning out the grate from the night before, etc. etc. Thank goodness for central heating!!! And continuous hot water as and when I want it.

Perhaps a separate thread needs to be started on the labour saving devices we treasure.

At last the solicitor for the flat being sold here has contacted me (as secretary of the Management company). It disappeared off RightMove six weeks ago!!! So I have spent the morning in the office here, photocopying all the many papers they have asked for. As there was an aborted sale of that flat earlier this year, they have (and have paid for) the original large wad of these, Do wonder how many of these papers are actually read by them!!!

Being 'amateurs' (ie: unpaid), we get all replies back within 24 hours of being asked. Unlike the 'professionals' where it is likely to nearly as many weeks!!!!! So hoping this sale will go ahead properly this time. A second flat here has just come on the market, The lady there is the only one left of the original purchasers of these flats back in the mid-80's. She let me have a copy of the original brochure for the block.

I had my june to july electricity bill today and I have used 80 kwh less than this time last year, my electricity cost me only £1 more. This month, only used the dishwasher twice and the oven maybe twice if that. Pressure cooker a bit more and a bit more bulk cooking for ready meals. Same amount of washing and electric shower

I cannot compare gas yet as this month is out of synch, I have arranged for future readings to be taken by a meter reader as the meter is outside, on the ground and awkward, that will be done 29th. However the only gas I have used has been for hot water for washing up, I am estimating the same or less than last year. The boiler man did ask me if I wanted the `always on` setting turned off as it just means that there is not hot water always in the boiler. I had him turn it off and there is no difference that I would notice. There is abalance starting to appear on my account now

I am carrying on sorting, paper patterns today, very tiring but all well and good, better than leaving it to accumulate for future years when I may not have the energy. Nice to stay on top of things. I am in process of future=proofing my garden, its been a good start to that, it has survived nicely in the heat and drought