*Will I be made Homeless if mum dies*

Find out who she rents from and look on their website and/or at her tenancy agreement - there's usually something there or a 'contact here for further info'. Good you are looking before you leap, not everyone does.

On the subject of your own flat do not move out until your landlord finds you accomadation while your flat is updated. A friend was advised to do this and she is now back in her own flat . Landlords do this to increase the rent they are charging . None as no fault eviction.

As you currently live 80 miles away from your mum, I am sadly afraid that her town council won't give a hoot that your landlord has given you notice.

By all means contact them, social services where your mother lives, her GP and Citizen's advice, taking the line with them all that the time is fast approaching, if it is not already here, when you mother will not be able to continue living on her own.

DO NOT say you are willing to be her carer. If they ask you that, say your mother brought it up as the obvious solution from her point of view, but you do not think you can cope.

You have health issues of your own. Do these make lifting your mother, driving a car, etc hard or impossible? Is so, say so clearly.

My own experience is that it will be easier both for you and your mother, if her carer is not her daughter.

Try to get her council to re-home her in a smaller flat and arrange care for her.

Go down to Citizen's advice where you live, and ask whether your landlord can actually evict you at short notice for the reasons given, whether you are entitled to help finding a suitable rented property to move into. Ask them how you will be placed when your mother either dies, or has to go into a nursing home, if you upsticks and move in with her now as her carer.

You also need to know whether you are entitled to a carer's allowance or salary if you take on full-time care of your mother.

You can then consider looking for a new flat for yourself rather nearer to your mother, but NOT within walking distance of her flat. Somewhere where you can reasonably say you will visit after work ( I presume you work) once a week or once a fortnight.

Find out now, when you can retire, and what kind of pension you will be entitled to, so you can plan your future.

Please do not be guilt-tripped into moving in with your mother before you know what it will entail, both now and later.

I am 14 years older than you, and have seen far too many of my own generation assume the unmarried (or married) daughter's burden of care for aging parents, getting no thanks for it, either from parent or society, and left worn out with no friends - they disappear fast when you are looking after a cantakerous old woman or an Alzheimer's patient on your own.

A paid, unrelated carer can either say she won't go back to Mrs N. (as one of my mother's did) or as another did tell her she was being difficult for the fun of it, and to snap out of it. Any daughter who does the like suffers agonies of guilt.

Don't put yourself in that position!

Munkee is a man.

My brother was in this situation, initially the council said no, he had to leave because he was in a family sized house, however they relented and gave him the tenancy, I think it depends on the councils need for the house, worth having a word with them x

The situation is just this, if you are living with your mother as carer and she dies or goes into care and the council try to evict you, you become homeless, it may not be in the same house but they have the responsibility to rehouse you.

If you go on record with the council and pay council tax you shoud be able to take over the tenancy when your mother dies.
The tenancy can only be passed down to one family member.

That`s how it works in the midlands.

My sister cared for my mum all her life having never left home. She wasn't in the best of health herself but they got by, with us all chipping in. Mum had been a tenant all her life and the council would not add my sister when my dad died. Sister was on chemotherapy when mum passed at 91, I had at that time been trying to get an exchange to a single storey property as both struggled even with a Stannah lift. Anyway, mum passed and I spoke to housing, they said they were obliged under the terms of the tenancy to issue a 28 days notice. Obviously extremely upsetting. They said, due to her health she should register herself for housing, she was mid 60's and vunerable, whilst they thought she would be a priority that might still mean moving to temporary accommodation which for us was worrying. Anyway I desperately started emailing Almshouses associations for housing ladies over 60 and through one contact, right time and pure luck- a local one had a one bedroom ground floor flat. I broke down into tears, I just wanted her to be safe. The flats are run by Trustees, one of whom is the local vicar. She had to be 'interviewed', and understand there were rules etc, however, 4 years on she has made new friends, she doesn't feel lonely, she has the pull cord system if she feels unwell. It's the best place for her and I am eternally grateful to the charity who I now always make a donation to, we must save these places for those in your situation. I would speak with your mum's housing office but I think it is pretty standard now about not passing on tenancies, especially if it is bigger than required. Take care and good luck.

As you are going to have to move anyway, could you find somewhere for yourself, near to your mum?

Very good Ali08.

That is an excellent point.

OP

If you are going to become her carer and move in with her - you must have an exit plan if it doesnt work for either party

Could you rent privately near your Mum seeing as you are having to move anyway.

It isn’t necessarily easy to ‘downsize’ as a tenant. You have to apply for the smaller property and as you are ‘adequately’ housed (i.e safe) you are much lower on the list than someone inadequately housed.

Be very careful about becoming a live in carer for your Mum. It is not an easy talk caring for anybody but when you have a dysfunctional family, it can cause all sorts of problems. If you have to move out of your house and you want to be of more use, look to rent somewhere near your Mum. As somebody who has been in a caring position, I can't stress enough how much it takes over your life. It is easy to become resentful. It would be better to talk to Adult Social Services and see it they can arrange assistance or give you advice.

I find it strange that your mother is even allowed to continue to occupy a 3 bedroom council house on her own. There must be many, many families on the waiting list. You'd think the council would be very willing to find her somewhere smaller, wouldn't you?
On the possible eviction question if she dies - we had a friend who moved into his dad's council property to take care of him and he was told to move out quite soon after the father died. He was not the tenant - his father was.

I think councils are allowing people to finish their days in under occupied properties,but ensuring nobody else is able to then take over the tenancy.

Sorry you are having so much stress,lots of good advice,I hope everything works out well,Good Luck.

I find it strange that your mother is even allowed to continue to occupy a 3 bedroom council house on her own.

The alternative is to uproot an elderly person from her family home which she might have lived in all her married life.

While leaving a family who truly needs the 3 bedroom?

This person has mobility issues in that house already!
People move all the time and OP's mother is behaving like a tantrumy toddler

Hithere

While leaving a family who truly needs the 3 bedroom?

This person has mobility issues in that house already!
People move all the time and OP's mother is behaving like a tantrumy toddler

That’s a mean comment Hithere. OPs mum has probably brought up her children and lost her husband whilst living in that house, she’s bound to be attached to it, it’s her home after all. She needs to be helped to make the decision to move to somewhere more suitable for her needs now, not berated.

Hithere

While leaving a family who truly needs the 3 bedroom?

This person has mobility issues in that house already!
People move all the time and OP's mother is behaving like a tantrumy toddler

That may be so but the rules gave the tenant that house for life. The OP would be entitled to have a stair lift put in to resolve problems. The council's give grants for such items.

A person who owns their own over sized house or privately rents can't be forced to move so should we discriminate against socially tenanted houses?

Maybe because they are in effect provided by the taxpayer but are treated by tenants as though they belong to them?

Germanshepherdsmum

Maybe because they are in effect provided by the taxpayer but are treated by tenants as though they belong to them?

I don’t disagree for tenants who were aware what the rules about moving out when they need less bedrooms are now from the time they moved in, but it’s unreasonable to impose new rules on older people who were led to believe it was their home for life. I can understand why they need help and persuasion when the house is no longer suitable for their needs, as we all would in that situation, but I think the attempts to force them to move from homes they had lived in for many years made by some councils were harsh.

Could you look at over 55 housing association flats near your Mum? You might be in with a good chance of getting one as a) you need to move and b) you’re needed to care for your Mum. Which county is your Mum in? I may be able to give you some pointers.

I would also advise you to look into almshouses near your mother. Good luck whatever you decide.