Visitors, shoes on or off?

I've just been to lunch at a friend's who lives about a quarter of a mile away, so obviously I walked. It's been raining a lot so I walked in outdoor shoes and took smart shoes with me in a bag. I wouldn't want to be shoe-less, the shoes complete the outfit.
My half-German GSS always take their shoes off. They were brought up in the UK, but the German customs are strong
at home.
At my house, people often ask if they should take their shoes off. In dry weather, I say, don't bother, but in wet, it's, would you mind and would you like slippers.

Personally I struggle with being asked to remove shoes as I am diabetic so should not go barefoot. It's ok in winter as I usually wear socks, but awkward in summer. I had some friends who had a basket full of slippers in the hall in various sizes for guests to wear which solved the problem for me.

I never ask people to remove shoes as my carpets are all old and pretty horrible. They weren't perfect when we moved here 22 years ago so now they are well past their best but I can't afford to do anything about them, nor could I cope with the upheaval of replacing them! When I move I may feel differently, but the slipper option my be considered if necessary.

I don't think rude at all to ask visitors to remove shoes. There is so much dust and muck on the bottom of shoes. We had new carpets put in a few years ago and bought new mat for the hall for good shoe clean but husband walked down the hall and dog muck on the bottom of his shoes. All on new carpets, he went mad so shoes definitely off for us each time we come home. I bought a pair of slippers for men and a pair of ladies for visitors after that.

I have never had to ask a guest to remove their shoes, and unless they were wearing mud covered footwear wouldn’t do so.

We only invite friends and family round for dinner/BBQ/drinks, they are like minded and normally kick off their footwear in the lobby.

All tradesmen round here put on blue disposable overshoes.

A few years ago we were invited to meet our son’s girlfriend’s family. I put on a nice dress and black leather knee high boots.
We were asked to take our shoes off. Not only did I struggle trying to take off my boots while I was standing up by their front door, but I was wearing ankle length pop socks! I felt a right wally in my nice ‘frock’ and socks!

This really seems to divide people! I don’t understand the issue. In British culture it is rude to ask a person to remove their everyday footwear when entering as a visitor. It is acceptable if it is a cultural convention, i.e. in another country where this is the norm or the householder is from a country where this is the expectation and they continue their customs in this country. I am always offended when I visit someone and asked to take my shoes off. However, in order not to be the rude one, I would do it. If you’re worried about your flooring or can’t afford to clean it, don’t buy impractical floor covering.

People often ask me if they should take off their shoes. I say they can if they want to but it's OK not to. A lot do anyway. I am usually in bare feet or slippers at home for comfort so maybe they see that as a cue. I didn't realize it had become such a thing. Now I am thinking maybe I should offer to take off my shoes in other people's houses. It would be an effort for me. No one has actually asked me to do it for many years. In the past my neighbour did. I think she had a fear of fear of dirt from the street. I was happy to do it.

I'm perfectly happy to take my shoes off if it is muddy or wet (it is polite to do this) but not at all keen otherwise and have actually refused on occasion.
As others have said, if you've dressed up for dinner or a party you don't want to take off your shoes and bumble around in your stockinged feet all night. If I'm dressed up and it is wet I would wear "outdoor shoes" and change when I get there.
I have wooden floors and good oriental rugs, sometimes people ask if they need to take their shoes off - I would always say not to bother unless their shoes were filthy or wet. Carpets can easily by vacuumed or sponged if necessary and good carpets are not damaged by any of this.

In North America it’s common to take your shoes off entering a home. I very much like to keep my shoes on. I normally take an extra pair of slippers with me to change in to. As for a party, I’d wear flats and take my shoes with me to wear in the house. However some ppl are really fussy about the type of footwear you wear in their house, if that is the case they should either say don’t wear heels or provide slippers for your own use. Floors carpet and rugs are meant to be walked on.

I’m short and if I’m going out my shoes - generally comfy flatforms - are part of my outfit. I’d hate to be told to take them off and be towered over by huge people all night.

I think I’d rather have peoples shoes than their bare feet walking around my house.

Moii

Unless they've just come out of the box they're not clean.

If I arrive for an occasion at your house are you going to demand to known if im wearing new shoes?
How rude.

Unless they've just come out of the box they're not clean.

Nanny27

If I arrived at your house in wet or muddy shoes I'd take them off without question. However, if i have chosen my outfit carefully and worn shoes that went well with it I'd be mortified to have to sit through drinks and dinner, possible with other guests who I didn't know well, in bare feet or a pair of borrowed slippers.

My thoughts exactly. That party was memorable for all the wrong reasons.

NanaPlenty

I think it’s really bad manners to where shoes in someone’s home unless they’ve told you it’s ok. Hard floors - not so bad as they can be regularly washed but on carpet - yuck. Look what you may have trodden in outside - I hate shoes indoors.

And yet often the same people who are prissy about their carpets have cats or dogs. Honestly, I find it rather vulgar to ask people to remove shoes. If they volunteer, well there's a choice, I guess.

Aveline

I wouldn't dream of asking visitors to remove their shoes on arrival. We also have 'expensive Persian rugs' but also have vacuum cleaners. How rude to expect partygoers to stand around shoeless. I'd have left.

I agree. That was very rude. When we go out to a party we take trouble with what we wear, and that includes shoes. At barely 5' tall I'd have felt rather humiliated without shoes, plus I hate having bare feet. They seem so vulnerable!

If I arrived at your house in wet or muddy shoes I'd take them off without question. However, if i have chosen my outfit carefully and worn shoes that went well with it I'd be mortified to have to sit through drinks and dinner, possible with other guests who I didn't know well, in bare feet or a pair of borrowed slippers.

Does anyone remember when dog owners didn't "clean up" after their pets, shoes pushchair/pram wheels covered and ooh, that lingering smell

Never asked anyone to remove their shoes and wouldn't dream of doing so. Hate having to remove mine because my feet are so ugly with huge bunions but if asked then I do so. I do think that if anybody expects a visitor to remove shoes then they should provide some sort of alternative wear - and the kind that's only used once so no infections to spread.

I think it’s really bad manners to where shoes in someone’s home unless they’ve told you it’s ok. Hard floors - not so bad as they can be regularly washed but on carpet - yuck. Look what you may have trodden in outside - I hate shoes indoors.

Shoes on carpets is pretty gross, reminents of dog muck, spit and all kinds of bacteria but a dinner party I would allow it, it would be uncomfortable walking around in evening wear and bare feet.

I aways take my shoes off when visiting friends houses, they always say "oh don't bother" but I think its good manners. I do not want to traipse over their carpets in shoes that may have trodden in yucky things. The only time I regretted doing it, was when I visited someone who obviously never vacuumed their carpets, there was more grit and nasties on their hall carpet than on the pavement outside.

I just think that it is the height of rudeness to demand shoes off. At the least they should provide new spaces type sliders. We attended my teenage nephew's funeral once and back at my brother in laws v large house everyone was asked to remove their shoes. My elderly uncle was mortified as he had a large hole in his socks. I stood outside with him for the duration of the wake. I always think that if you wouldn't ask the Queen (not Camilla) to remove her shoes then don't ask me.

I don't think there is a wrong or right way. People should respect the homeowners wishes. It's not rude to ask someone to take their shoes off if you want them to.

My children take their shoes off, as do their partners, although they (my children) weren't brought up to do so. I had a houseful at the weekend, and there was a pile of trainers in the hallway, so I think it is maybe a new thing.

Does nobody have doormats any more? Unless guests' shoes are really muddy, which is unlikely for town-dwellers, a good wipe on a bristly mat will get off anything likely to transfer to carpets, and a vacuum will pick up anything that does sneak through. I agree that in the event that I turned up somewhere in muddy boots (which would be in a parallel life, really I would take them off, but I once went to a party in heels that I had chosen to match my outfit and was disconcerted to be asked to put them in the pile in the front porch. Other women felt the same, as many people mentioned it in conversation over the evening.

Witzend, I'm not sure whether your post suggests that on/off is a class-based thing or not, as you seem to be saying one thing then the other.