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House and home

Should I renovate or move

(79 Posts)
barmcake Sat 25-Oct-25 07:42:14

I have just been ripped off by a cowboy builder for the second time, but this time they damaged my neighbour's property. For the sake of my ruined mental health I've written off the money and compensated my neighbour.

My Victorian terrace needs complete renovation.

Should I sell the house and go to an assisted living flat; or,
do a complete renovation.

Would love to hear from those who have or have had a similar experience and how they resolved it. I feel like just packing a bag and running away at the moment.

barmcake Sat 25-Oct-25 16:25:19

Aveline

Oh yes. Move now. Let the purchasers do the renovation - that'll spare your blood pressure. Not all retirement complexes are extortionate but you don't sound like a candidate for assisted living. A studio flat might feel pretty claustrophobic after living in a large house. Compromise? A nice flat in a good area? Good luck anyway.

I wonder, it could feel claustrophobic. I think the ideal situation would be to rent for 6 months with the option to buy. There's nothing worse than moving and then realising that you've made a mistake.

I remember buying a house from a 90 year old. When I bumped into her she sounded down and said she really missed her old home and hated living in a flat. I used to see her standing across the road just staring at her old home.

Aveline Sat 25-Oct-25 17:03:33

Yes renting for a while is a good idea. We moved to a flat from a family sized house and are really happy here. It's not a small flat ( 3 bedrooms, 2 public, an office plus kitchen and two bathrooms) and we have lots of storage so don't feel constrained. Note 1960s flats are more spacious than modern ones.

beachcomber76 Sun 26-Oct-25 13:41:40

In reference to the post saying 30's to 80's homes aren't a good build - I'm in a bungalow built in 1954 and it is solid, a good build with proper floorboards and a substantial roof framework, high ceilings, thicker than most cavity walls. Built by a local builder from an owner who bought the land beforehand and who obviously had good standards.

I've done up a few properties and would steer away from 70's and 80's builds when most floors were the 'new' chipboard ones. They sag, squeak, absorb moisture and move. Cheap, chuck 'em up builds when houses went up in their hundreds.

beachcomber76 Sun 26-Oct-25 13:42:40

...move when you walk on them.

MiniMoon Sun 26-Oct-25 14:05:12

We are in a similar position. Our bathroom needs a complete renovation, and our downstairs shower room/ utility room needs new flooring.
Our daughter and family are moving to Co. Durham next spring, so we gave decided to wait and see what properties are available in the same area. We will need to downsize soon anyway.

CariadAgain Sun 26-Oct-25 14:28:52

beachcomber76

In reference to the post saying 30's to 80's homes aren't a good build - I'm in a bungalow built in 1954 and it is solid, a good build with proper floorboards and a substantial roof framework, high ceilings, thicker than most cavity walls. Built by a local builder from an owner who bought the land beforehand and who obviously had good standards.

I've done up a few properties and would steer away from 70's and 80's builds when most floors were the 'new' chipboard ones. They sag, squeak, absorb moisture and move. Cheap, chuck 'em up builds when houses went up in their hundreds.

We were both saying 30' - 80's homes are probably a better bet than ones built either before or after that era.

The only thing I would say is that many of them have got small kitchens. But that is a problem many British houses have - and the big advantage of a recently-built house could be a decent size kitchen.

If choosing again - ideally I'd stick to 1930s-1980s home - BUT with someone having extended the kitchen into a decent modern-size kitchen - and yet still enough back garden there to have a proper size back garden (and not just a teensy patch of green).

Grammaretto Sun 26-Oct-25 17:47:34

That sounds awful Barmcake. I would want to run away too.
Maybe you should get away for a few days to have an objective think and then start the process of finding something else. Alert an estate agent etc.

An expensive house has just sold near me. It is beautiful inside and the garden is exceptionally nice, however it's dark, has no windows at the back as it's joined onto another Victorian property. It has no parking..

If I downsize I wouldn't want a bungalow because I like to be elevated.
Has anyone good things to say about a first floor flat?
Does your 1960's flat have a lift Aveline?

Tenko Sun 26-Oct-25 19:04:28

I’m another to advise to sell . Renovating a Victorian house is expensive , you uncover all sorts of problems . Our first house was a Victorian terrace in south London , so I speak from experience. Plus your decor may not suit buyers . In my experience buyers wanting a period home want to renovate themselves.
I don’t know where you’re based but Victorian property’s are often in demand as they have more character than a new build .
Yes the housing market is a bit sluggish but I’d try with an agent before going to auction .
We had this decision with my mother’s house when she downsized. We decided to sell as a doer upper , rather than renovating. Not surprisingly a builder bought it .
Oh and my mother is in a retirement complex and is very happy . Hers doesn’t have horrendous management fees . So if you go down that route, do some research.

Aveline Sun 26-Oct-25 20:53:09

Gramaretto yes it does have a lift, a resident care taker, store room, garage and beautiful shared grounds. We're very happy that we moved here.

Primrose53 Sun 26-Oct-25 21:29:31

My advice to anybody even thinking about moving is to do it now because you don’t know what’s round the corner. As regulars will know, my husband had a huge stroke last Nov and is now in a wheelchair with just one working arm and leg.

We used to say when he retired we would love to sell up and build an eco house or bungalow locally. It’s never going to happen now. I can’t even imagine emptying our house, garage, sheds, overflowing loft, summerhouse etc.

Skydancer Sun 26-Oct-25 21:48:47

I would advise selling. Dealing with builders is extremely stressful. Some are ok but others will run rings round you. Cut your losses and get out. Then buy somewhere that needs nothing doing. When viewing take someone with you that knows what they are looking at. A lot can be hidden and neither the vendor nor the estate agent will point out any faults.

Allira Sun 26-Oct-25 21:57:53

barmcake

Very true about renovating. When you renovate a Victorian house it's an absolute guarantee that many horrors will be unearthed and the price quoted will sky rocket.

I'm so touched and impressed by you all. It's like having estate agent, financial adviser and therapist all thrown in, and it's free.

THANK YOU

Spending on old houses can seem like a bottomless pit.

Good luck with your move.

barmcake Mon 27-Oct-25 03:32:13

beachcomber76

...move when you walk on them.

That's interesting and useful to know. I spoke to a developer who said that new builds will only be structurally sound for 25-30 years or so. A big new build project went up opposite me a couple of years ago and the outside is already damp and mouldy. Cheap materials and cheap labour I suppose.

A bad property decision can ruin a person financially and mentally, but if you get a solid home with good neighbours it's such a blessing.

madeleine45 Mon 27-Oct-25 05:52:49

I have moved many times here and abroad, so my suggestions are more about how you might think more about what you want to move to, which might give you some ideas to help. So the first thing is whether you like where you live, is it convenient for shopping, public transport, what doctors are available, is there a decent library , swimming pool, or whatever is important to you. So if you like where you are and it is only the actual house that is the problem, then you can start to do a real little study of the town, or area, finding out where there are pockets of suitable housing available, checking out if they are easy to reach, or if there is going to be major roadworks or big buildings arriving in the area. When you have looked about you will then probably have two or three areas or roads that appeal to you, so then you could go into an estate agent and besides seeing what they think your place is worth you could put your name down to be informed whenever anything in the vicinity that you liked comes up for sale. The estate agency will see that you are definintely not going to be a time waster and that they may earn more by selling to you as well as for you, so you will be top of their list to make an effort on your behalf. That could work to your advantage! Alternatively if you look around and realize that you are not really very involved with that town , and tend to go to perhaps another nearby place for many things so for example you might belong to a gym or golf club in a nearby place and when you think about it , possibly spend quite a lot of time with friends in that area, well then that could be an area that you look at to see if there is somewhere affordable there for you to live in. Any place other than where you now live, try and do some research in such things as what do the local people say about transport, doctors there etc. Of course most people will be moaning about things but you can learn quite a lot and be able to follow up and see if things would suit you. If you decide that another town is going to be more suitable for you, and you can afford to do it, I then suggest that you might go and stay b and b for a week or two , sometime about now, or at any rate in the winter months. Everywhere can look lovely in the summer, and you can have rose tinted glasses about somewhere. Is it still a decent place to be in when the weather is not so good. Does the local library have interesting things happening there, are there lots of clubs and things like u3a to join and meet people if you want to .

To some people this may seem over the top, but when you think that this is going to be where you are going to live for a long time, then I think it is worth making the effort. Some years ago , we planned a move away from the area we then lived in. Found a house that looked very suitable, but again I tend to be somewhat on the wary side. The estate agent seemed keen for us to visit in the afternoon and said that the two mornings I suggested were already booked . So I then drew up a chart with times from 6am until about 8pm, with squares for pedestrians, bikes cars etc, and then made the journey over with plenty of food and drinks etc and radio 3. I spent a whole day there, marking the traffic, watching the general scenery and the ebb and flow . This showed me that it was quite busy for a lot of the time , but also you could see that if another nearby main road was closed for any reason that this would become the rat run. We checked out and sure enough in about 6 months there were going to be quite a lot of road works going to affect that area. We didnt get that house, and later when we had moved to another house not far away were very glad , as it certainly did become a rat run for lorries and everything. When you think how much time and money and effort we put into moving it seems strange to me that people dont seem to do this sort of thing. It may sound a bit extreme, but I have found it worth while.

You may also have contacts already, so perhaps you belong to the wi or a club, where people from the area you are interested in belong, so you have a readymade information giver. It can then become obvious to you , what you will prefer to do, it doesnt matter whether it makes you decide to stay or go, but you will have come to a conclusion as to what is in your best interest, rather than just leaving it until it becomes a necessity, or unfortunately , if you had mobility problems , you then might either have to move quickly or get something like a stairlift put in.

One other thing is that I find, we dont always see exactly what we are like compared to our friends. So when you think oh yes there is a good golf club but no library, it might be your friend who says but you use the library every week, wont y ou miss that, or whatever it is you do quite a lot of. My personal thing is that I am determined to remain independent for as long as I live, hopefully, and though with great regret to leave my much loved garden, I downsized to a ground floor flat, having done all the above. Still miss the garden but now that my back is so much worse, I would have been in a much worse position if I had stayed there. It has given me time to slowly alter things, get rid of quite a lot of stuff, make new friends and acquaintances whilst still being able to drive back and visit old friends . So I am content that I made the right decision, and most of all it was MY decision, and no one else needed to move me to somewhere I didnt want to be.

Enjoy looking around and thinking what you like or dislike doing. You will probably discover little roads that you didnt know where there and get to know your town that much more. I hope you find all our comments and posts helpful, whether that is for good ideas you hadnt considered, or other ideas that you reject entirely. When you have read them all you will probably have a better idea of what it is you want for yourself. Hope things go well for you and let us know what you choose in the end

karmalady Mon 27-Oct-25 06:16:47

barmcake

beachcomber76

...move when you walk on them.

That's interesting and useful to know. I spoke to a developer who said that new builds will only be structurally sound for 25-30 years or so. A big new build project went up opposite me a couple of years ago and the outside is already damp and mouldy. Cheap materials and cheap labour I suppose.

A bad property decision can ruin a person financially and mentally, but if you get a solid home with good neighbours it's such a blessing.

Exactly that Barmcake, try and find a builder who is experienced in building small scale developments.

I had such a builder and watched how they built the other 11 houses. Re structural soundness, my dh was a structural engineer and our last new build was also by a small builder. I learnt a lot from DH and knew what I was looking for

I watched step by step when the last bungalow was built, opposite me eg the footings went down 3m until they reached solid rock. The slab is thick concrete and has a radon-proof membrane on top. The walls are concrete blocks with thermalite blocks on the inside layer. The outside is also rendered in k rend. I was very impressed with the care and attention to detail and workmanship

I had looked at David Wilson homes nearby. It was a nice home but I hated the sales pitch and I kept being drawn back to this one, albeit a tad less in sq footage. Those homes still look excellent today, six years on

Good new builds are around, just be picky and get that all-important pre-purchase survey. I did not get one for this house, I did not need such a survey

CariadAgain Mon 27-Oct-25 06:34:22

barmcake

beachcomber76

...move when you walk on them.

That's interesting and useful to know. I spoke to a developer who said that new builds will only be structurally sound for 25-30 years or so. A big new build project went up opposite me a couple of years ago and the outside is already damp and mouldy. Cheap materials and cheap labour I suppose.

A bad property decision can ruin a person financially and mentally, but if you get a solid home with good neighbours it's such a blessing.

Crikey!!!!!

So much for houses are supposed to last for centuries! There are even the odd Tudor houses around - and they're still being lived in. A 6-figure amount of money for only tens of years!

barmcake Mon 27-Oct-25 06:37:39

karmalady

barmcake

beachcomber76

...move when you walk on them.

That's interesting and useful to know. I spoke to a developer who said that new builds will only be structurally sound for 25-30 years or so. A big new build project went up opposite me a couple of years ago and the outside is already damp and mouldy. Cheap materials and cheap labour I suppose.

A bad property decision can ruin a person financially and mentally, but if you get a solid home with good neighbours it's such a blessing.

Exactly that Barmcake, try and find a builder who is experienced in building small scale developments.

I had such a builder and watched how they built the other 11 houses. Re structural soundness, my dh was a structural engineer and our last new build was also by a small builder. I learnt a lot from DH and knew what I was looking for

I watched step by step when the last bungalow was built, opposite me eg the footings went down 3m until they reached solid rock. The slab is thick concrete and has a radon-proof membrane on top. The walls are concrete blocks with thermalite blocks on the inside layer. The outside is also rendered in k rend. I was very impressed with the care and attention to detail and workmanship

I had looked at David Wilson homes nearby. It was a nice home but I hated the sales pitch and I kept being drawn back to this one, albeit a tad less in sq footage. Those homes still look excellent today, six years on

Good new builds are around, just be picky and get that all-important pre-purchase survey. I did not get one for this house, I did not need such a survey

I don't think it's over the top at all, very sensible. I'm so pleased that you've found a great place and hope the back improves. I do sympathise with the loss of your garden.

Another poster mentioned looking for houses that have not been renovated by 'flippers': another tip that's going in my notebook.

Thank you so much.

barmcake Mon 27-Oct-25 06:44:00

Sorry, the above reply was meant for Madelaine45. Need a coffee.

My goodness we're early risers on this forum.

I know about David Wilson and his sales pitches. Of course many do a complete bodge, pay off the building inspector, then disappear and set up a company under a new name.

Grandmotherto8 Mon 27-Oct-25 17:04:54

I purposely moved to a new build in my final (hopefully) move 7 years ago, in order to minimise the need for maintenance and/or other building work. I am blissfully happy and lovely and warm, even without my CH on, better insulation I'm thinking.

sandye Mon 27-Oct-25 17:19:22

I agree with the sell and future proof. A bungalow is a great idea as we never know what the future holds.

cc Mon 27-Oct-25 17:28:26

We completely renovated a large house whilst we were in our 60's and then decided that it was time to downsize, whilst the house still looked pristine and before the expensive regular maintenance had to start.
We bought a maisonette on an established estate, all our outside maintenance is done by the management company and we find out new smaller home is just what we need. No regrets for us, other than the occasional pang when I think of the lovely garden at my old home.

Esmay Mon 27-Oct-25 17:58:07

Barmcake -this is exactly my dilemna .
I don't know what the answer is .
I can sell my house easily as it's convenient for London ,near a big shopping centre and is a good area for schools
I don't really know where to move to .
I fancy the coast .
The house is so badly designed . It suited my parents .
My mother hated cooking and the galley kitchen didn't bother her .
I want an studio ,a bigger kitchen and a downstairs bathroom for the day that I can't get up the stairs -a lift is tricky to install because of the cramped layout .
It means an extension .
The best solution would be to demolish the garage and use the space for an extension.
I deliberate on what to do and browse the housing market .
Constantly being asked about moving or staying is irritating as I have no real idea
I've thought of getting some plans done for an extension .

I suggest that you browse around on line and get some quotations done .
Having been ripped off has left you feeling uncertain . I don't blame you !
I find writing my thoughts down helpful as I weigh up the pros and cons .
Wishing you lots of luck with your decision.

Musicgirl Mon 27-Oct-25 18:24:04

CariadAgain

Yep to that one - the first house good friends of mine (and she's still in it all these years later - albeit as a widow now) was a Victorian terrace.

Who knows owt when they buy their first house? - ie not a lot of us. So they didn't know to check the flood history of the area concerned. Yep...there was a well-known flood in that area of the city a few years before they bought it. Cue for they found the floorboards were riddled with dry rot when they took up the carpets - oops!

In the event he did the work himself to sort that out - because there wasn't the money to pay someone else - but that was unexpected effort. They've had to do some replastering - as some of it fell off the walls. Mind you - she's only just had the house rewired (an electrician insisted she did) - which I hadn't clicked to - even though I'd had my Victorian starter house substantially rewired when I bought it in the 1980s (ie 40 years before she had hers done).

Personally - I'm inclined to think the "least/worst" era to buy houses from is probably the 1930s to 1980s - though others may correct me on that one and, with where I've come from = expectations on how houses are means I regard all that range as needing renovating if it's not yet been done.

Yes, when we were looking for our present house, we said to the estate agents that we were looking for one built between 1930 and 1990. This was because houses built in this era tend to be solidly built and have larger rooms than more modern houses. They also tend to have had their "teething troubles" sorted out and have cavity wall insulation, which older houses usually don't. Our house was built in 1983 and ticks all the boxes. We are very happy here. Barmcake, I think a smaller house rather than a flat would suit you well and one that is ready for you to move in without needing to do anything for the time being might be a good idea. Whatever you decide, I hope it all works out well for you.

CariadAgain Mon 27-Oct-25 18:24:14

When I decided where to move to I had to do the research myself. What I had was a starter Victorian terrace house and what I needed/had been waiting for for years was a detached house with a garden in a reasonable area. I was also waiting for the nearby local airport to close and couldnt figure out how long I thought it would be before it did close (ie I hate aircraft flying overhead and start swearing at those members of the human race that decide to fly in aircraft that go over other peoples houses at night).

So I wrote down my own criteria - not Scotland (too cold and I don't know how things operate re the law etc), not North of England (too cold for me), not North Wales (just in case.....). No airport if I could possibly help it. Then wrote down the size of place I needed and what facilities I felt I couldnt manage without (as I'm used to them) and was restricted to places where I could afford the better house (ie cheaper areas then).

In hindsight - I think it would have been helpful if Chat GPT had been around then. It would have saved me a lot of research I had to do. I did input a full range of criteria to that and asked for towns/cities of 15,000 people upwards, in Norfolk, with a river, with a Waitrose. It came up with a list of 3 possibles for me that matched the criteria and with some "me" type housing I can afford.

Cue for swearing visibly and wishing it had been around when I was having to decide where to move to that I could afford a better house. I'm going to stay put where I am now - partly because the garden is mature now, partly because I got "frit" as to whether other areas of the country have tradespeople as unreliable as a noticeable number are here (the "Pembrokeshire Promise" - which means they promise and they promise.....and some think nothing of letting you down) and I have (finally!) finished the house renovation at last here. As I'm now 72 and that means an estimated 10 years to go - and I do not want a day more than that average age of 82 life expectancy British women have (or I'll be complaining volubly to the Almighty if I get landed with the long life I've never wanted personally) then it's not worth moving again anyway imo for 10 years.

But things could have been rather different if I'd been able to do that better research.

Yep...I'm that person who if I land up arriving in Heaven later than required will probably head out of the "welcome home celebration party" and demand to know why my life had been longer than I required LOL. I'll be the one over in the corner going "85!!!!!! 85!!!! The average is 82 - why the bleep did I get landed with 3 extra years?!"

So maybe that's the way to go about things for people who - one way or another - feel they cant stay where they are....ie input your personal criteria, "spin the wheel" and see what comes up....

barmcake Mon 27-Oct-25 19:40:58

Grandmotherto8

I purposely moved to a new build in my final (hopefully) move 7 years ago, in order to minimise the need for maintenance and/or other building work. I am blissfully happy and lovely and warm, even without my CH on, better insulation I'm thinking.

Can you send some of that heat my way. Victorian houses are freezing in winter and it's often warmer outside.

I'm extremely jealous and imagine you in shorts and vest whilst I'm wrapped up like Sherpa Tenzing. Another tick for a new build.