Meeting partner later in life

I only got this information second hand but one situation I once heard of was the mother had left her children her half of the house and the children were not on such good terms with the father and did not see him.
The father got married and died a few years later. He had willed the house to the wife not telling her it was half owned by his children.
I don't know what happened in the end but the children obviously wanted their half of the house.
I know it went to court.

Frank

Well Im thinking that a complicated will drawn up by a very clever solicitor is the only proper way for me (us) to sort this out, I'm beginning to lose sleep over the uncertainty of things.
Thank you for all the comments and private messages, it certainly helps to think out loud and get some impartial views.

Well I still haven't geared myself up for the big talk yet. My biggest fear lurking at the back of my head is that if I go on and on about something he regards as trivial but I don't, he may decide he doesn't want to be doing this relationship any more and that would break my heart.
I suppose eventually I have to decide what the deal breaker is, I definitely feel a bit in limbo about things t the moment though.

storynanny

I think you have certainly got to check the ownership of any of his property and if any of it is owned by the offspring etc proper agreements will have to be drawn up to make sure you have a home for life.
I have heard of a couple of situations where there were some bitter disputes between the families and I think in the end the only winners were the lawyers.

Frank

Actually the more I think about this the more I think I'm looking for more emotional security. I'm too old to be someone's girlfriend, if he's as fully committed as he says why on earth doesn't he want to get married and make it all official and legal. Should I have posted this in relationships?

storynanny I think you have asked the right and logical question. Why not indeed. There may of course be valid and logical reasons but you need to know and it is only right that you do.
I believe in sharing everything if you are in a partnership, married or not, I have personally never asked for anything in return and still believe it to be the right and proper thing to do. I do not believe there are pockets in shrouds but ensuring you have the right partner is a must. I fail on that score but I know many succeed and best wishes and health must go to them. I am resigned to spending the rest of my days alone and will leave what I have to the children. As for your emotional security why should you not have it, you should be given at least that and deserve it as a minimum. Just my opinion but I do feel strongly about matters such as this.

storynanna I really believe whether you are married to your partner or not, it makes no difference. At the end of the day do you want your children to inherit your home or your partner. If you died before him and he inherited, his children would benefit from your will, or if he married or lived with another woman she could eventually inherit your house.

In Australia it makes no difference whether you are married or not. I think the government has gone too far here. If I lived with someone it doesn't mean I want them to inherit my assets, even if I ever married at this stage of my life I would still want my children to inherit my assets. People find if they separate from a partner who they haven't married they still have to give them a substantial share after say five years of living together.

If I was you I would see a solicitor to get advice independently of your partner. One other thing is his daughter paying rent to him while he lives in your mortgage free house.

Ps, pockets in shrouds what an amazing expression! I have no pockets in mine, but I think my partner is such a private person that he probably does, although nothing worrying I'm sure.
Faye, there is still a small mortgage on his property which he pays with a contribution from his daughter. It will be paid by the time he retires.
I have appreciated everyone's views and comments and I know the big talk is long overdue. Wish me luck!

I brooded on this for a couple of weeks and broached the subject of changing my name as my passport runs out this month, sadly there was a distinct but unsaid lack of enthusiasm, interest in this happening . So now I feel sadly resigned to either putting all that stuff to the back of my mind somehow or more rocking of the boat