Torn over money

If you don't want to do anything, Abbey, then do nothing. Once you are dead, the rest of them will have the hassle of getting it all sorted out. There are rules about who gets what proportion, depending on how close a relative they are. It could take some time for it all to be settled, and some lawyer will make a packet out of it, but you will not need any money by then yourself.

However, if you can be bothered to make an appointment with a lawyer, and spend a little time thinking beforehand about just who you DO want to benefit from your wealth, it will go where YOU would like it to.

If you change your mind while you are still of sound mind, you can write a new will, or add a codicil to the existing one. It is your last will and testament that will be acted upon.

Very well said Elegran. Certainly Abbey there doesn't seem to be any urgency, so why not take your time and think about it for a while.

OMG - I'm in 150% agreement with J0!! But still think its a wind up - if it's true, then I sort of feel sad for her...

Don't you still have to make a will to leave any savings in your name to your husband? I realise he'd get the money anyway but he'd have to get it through a solicitor wouldn't he, who would charge the earth. My mum and dad didn't make a will and what little money that had was eaten away by solicitors fees when they died. It had once been enough to buy a small house but they carried on renting a council property and kept the money in the bank; when they died there was just a couple of thousands [and the solicitor got a chunk of that]. A can always be changed but no will means another rich solicitor rubbing his/her hands in glee. By the way, what's the problem with it going to 'needy people'? Homeless, starving etc etc. I'd give anything to be so well off that I could help other people less fortunate than myself .

Tegan You do not have to go through a solicitor unless a solicitor is appointed as the executor of a will. However, the processes are often long winded and can be difficult to sort out, which is why many people do. Solicitors do not have to be expensive but they are professionals and a professional fee is appropriate. Writing a will with a solicitor's advice is the best way to be sure that your wishes for your estate will be carried out properly after your death.

How can such good fortune result in such a lack of joy?

There are so many worthwhile ways the money could be used.

Can't see any point in the OP spending it on things she doesn't really want just for the sake of it.

Agree with j08 but only about 90 percent.

Some solicitors aren't though . I had a real battle with one when I got divorced [as if getting divorced itself wasn't bad enough]. The final bill was greatly reduced when I refused to pay for the times he'd charged me for making good mistakes that they had made. Most people don't use a solicitor very often and don't realise that every second they spend talking to them on the phone [or sitting in the office drinking the cup of tea that was offered] has to be paid for . I learned the hard way.

Bet we never hear from Abby again - completely made up. Boring....

I don't that we can be 100% certain that it was made up.

I have a booklet in front of me from Viva! called A Gift for Life.
It is Viva!'s guide to making a will.
You can give a legacy to Viva! and they will write a will for you for nothing. I am sure the charity would love to have all your money in exchange for looking after your cat. You can even have Viva! act as executor.

Bluebell can.

Yep I can! But seriously, didn't it strike anyone else as rather odd? And the coup de grace about the cat? And such a lot of money...and yet? And my point about the aunt and the brother? Nope, doesn't add up. Come on Abbey - where are you?

Eloped with Frank

Maybe Abbey does not like the tone of some of these posts.
She did say it was her first posting, and some of you are not being kind.
As we are all baby-boomers and supposedly well off, many of our children should inherit a lot of money and will have a similar dilemma.

Mine won't!
Seriously, if we are being serious, I wish I had half the OP's problem, but my advice, for what it is worth would be to set aside what I wanted or needed for my retirement and THEN do some good with all the surplus so that I could see the benefit my good fortune was bringing to others. There are so many worthwhile causes - how wonderful to be able to make a significant difference to e.g. clean water in the Third World, famine relief, SCF whatever! Look at Bill and Melinda Gates - they will not be leaving their squillions to their children (and Abbey says she doesn't have any) but are seeing how their wealth is helping others. Not really such a dilemma is it?

Mine won't either. I did say supposedly and should.
And I have suggested she get in touch with Viva! to get advice. I agree with you about charities. I cannot imagine having all that money just sitting in a bank account. Wateraid would be very grateful for it now. She does not have to set up a charitable foundation. A direct debit will do, and see how much she has left to squabble over when she dies.

You say your aunt died intestate - in that case her estate must have been shared between you and your brother ( you say she was your mothers sister) or does your brother have a different mother or is this a wind up? It doesn't quite add up - no nice friends or relatives whose lives you'd like to improve ( now or later)? No causes you are committed to apart from
One that will look after your cat? Goodness if I had that amount if money lying around I'd get so much pleasure out of all the good I could do with it.

Bluebell, sorry, I should have explained. My brother ( who is 11 years younger tha me) is my step brother. He is my fathers child by a second marriage.My mother died when I was young. My father re married and had another child. Unfortunately the way of my family, his second wife ( my step mother) died just before my aunt. Forgive me, I have been to a lot of funerals in the last four years.

I do not have a close relationship to my step brother. I suppose because of the age gap and various other things. I didnt think the details were relevent.

My aunt's money therefore came to me as blood relative. I know it caused some conflict with several " family" I use the word in speech marks because , they were all in laws of some kind who complained. I had been close to my aunt and uncle who died five years before my aunt. They looked after me as a child and took me on trips and things. My aunt knew I was next of kin and she often said it to me for when she died. I never knew she had that much money though.

You know, not all of us are very social people who have tons of friends .I said my life is a quiet one. I suppose to some that would seem sad. So no, I dont have anyone or any interests as such. Its just me and my husband. I came here because there isnt anyone else to ask.

But thank you for your response.

Well Abbey I think Gracesmum's advice is spot on, and I hope you haven't been put off Gransnet.

Bluebell, it may seem strange to you but my cat is my "baby". I have always had a cat. I love my cat. He is the one thinkg I really care about outside of my husband. I am sorry if that offends you.

To all those who gave advice -thankyou. I will consider what I want to do with the money.

I have decided that I am going to have the house done up. I like my home. I am very much a home person. I do not really enjoy going out and about places. I am not a big spender anyway.

My house is a bit tired around the edges and needs a make over. I need windows, doors and guttering mainly. I had some of it done a couple of years ago before my father died but didnt get around to the rest. My husband is OK at DIY but guttering and windows are not in his repetoire

As for where I have the money. It is in several accounts and it took a lot ofdoing to make sure I didnt have more than 85K with any one back group. Some of the money is joint accounts with my husband.

If I die before him I want my husband to have it all.But given I am younger than him and that my family ( bar accidentslike my mother) live to ripeold ages - my dad was 90 and my aunt 88 and my grandfather was also 90 when he died) I can expect to live a long time.

I dont have friends, I admit I am solitary. So is my husband. My brother is the main person causing me grief over what I do with the money. There are reasons. He was always spoiled by my father and his mother. They were a meal ticket and now they are gone thats dried up. I dont like to be spiteful but thats it really.

I will have to think about it and look at what might be the best to do. I might just tell everyone I Have spent the money on Bingo.

Thanks.

Sincere apologies Abbey - I shouldn't have jumped in as I did - you got some good advice from the more sensible GNers. I'm really sorry that I said what I did.

abbey you sound as if you've got your head screwed on pretty firmly and have done everything in a sensible manner. Just take your time, your money is safe and the choices are all yours. I think making your home as comfortable as you would wish, realising that the money will give you complete financial security and, importantly, choices, is enough for the moment.

I too hope you haven't been put off GN, it's lovely to read a new poster. to you.

I agree with what's been said, but... If you don't leave anything to your brother, and you die first, everything will go to your husband - and then to his sisters! Would you prefer them to have it over your brother and his son? I would make a will to ensure that in those circumstances, my brother was included. It seems a bit harsh not to, really!

Would you prefer them to have it over your brother and his son? I would make a will to ensure that in those circumstances, my brother was included.

Hummingbird. In someways I do not care what hubby does. I have the same feelings for his sisters as I do for my own brother and no sense of feeling for his son. I know that sounds harsh. Neithermy husband nor I know the boy. We have never been invited to a birthday party or to even see him any time. The first time I saw him was at my fathers funeral

My brother is estranged from his wife and he has weekend dad access.

I do know that my brother has made a will which leaves custody of his son to his brother in law and his girlfriend ( they are not married) in the event of his untimely death. So I would have no contact at all with the child.

I saw my aunt and uncle. I had a relationship with them. In my own family none of those aunts/uncles I had little or no contact with left me any legacy, not even a photgraph ofmy dad as a child or his parents. although a couple of them left my dad something - and I think rightly. So I have nothing to go on here.

The boy is only 8 I suppose I should be more forgiving. My brother I will not forgive. He will waste the money and from his own mouth when dad died " skip the rest" That is he wanted to put all my dads ( and moms ) " things" in the skip. This included some nice and as it turned out quite worthwhile worcester and doulton pottery etc. and sell the jewellry

Similarly with my aunt, his advice was to" get someone in for a house clearance" and "skip the rest" (as in throw it on the tip) .My aunt had a lovely if modest house with some lovely things. I had them valued and kept them.

She was a great collector of antiques as well as having older family heirlooms. It just breaks my heart to think my brother has such little respect for such things.

If I die before my husband then I feel I have to leave him the money to do as he needs or wants. he might even want to remarry. I would accept that. I am not sure he would leave it to his sisters despite his suggestions because they are older than him so the chances of them surviving him or me are slight. They are also childless.

My husbands wider family are equally estranged as mine.

So the money may well end up in the Tresury. I am not sure what other family there are anywhere. They are certainly very distant in all senses of that word.

I will just have to work out what I will do. I am just out of ideas. I will have to look around.

But now I am rambling.

Have a lovely time doing up your house, abbey! You can afford to get people in to do it, and to make it exactly what you want. Enjoy it. I have no advice to offer about investments, though!