Torn over money

abbey you have had a snowstorm of advice and unsurprisingly are still unsure what to do! Take your time and ponder. Enjoy getting your home as you want it and maybe something will start to formulate.

Given your love of cats (and I can empathise with that) you may decide to help an appropriate charity. Would you not rather do that than have it just tipped into the Treasury coffers?

Anyway, come back on GN if you still want to discuss your problem - or anything else really. It's a usually a friendly and supportive forum. Take no notice of anyone who is not!

Abbey the money has highlighted the fact that you are a fairly solitary person - and you seem quite comfortable with that, but I'm glad you came on Gransnet. I hope that as time goes on you will enjoy becoming part of our virtual community. How about posting a photo of your cat in the 'pictures' thread for starters?

What you've said makes so much more sense now, abbey [so difficult sometimes to get things across]. Don't blame you for feeling how you do. Mind you [don't want to worry you] don't assume you will outlive your husband. My mum was much younger than my dad and it came as a complete shock to me when she died before him [probably from the strain put on her by looking after him]. Seems to me that you're 'an only child that just happens to have a brother' [if that makes sense] because you seem like an only child [so am I and I can relate to a lot of what you say]. I think you'll like it on here . Can I apologise for misinterpreting what you said ?

Your life doesn't' t sound at all sad Abbey. Nothing wrong with being a home-bird. I am too to a certain extent. Definitely spend your money however you want to spend it. But, if there is any left over when you don't need it anymore (in the far distant future) bear in mind that there are some very worthwhile charities out there.

I know how you feel about your cat (been there)

However, I make no apologies for my previous posts.

I'm with you,j08. It's beyond me how someone can be living on the same planet as me and not be aware of what a lot of good a small amount of money can do!!!
And as for saying: it might not seem a lot to some of you, well, big angry face.

Seemed like a heck of a lot of money to me !!

It does occur to me that, as the cost of bringing up a child is now £148,000 ( www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-23726224) that without my DS and DD, I too could have had vast amounts of money in the bank!

I agree with JO8. It's your money. Why did your brother say you shouldn't be spending the money on yourself? It's your money. Get your windows and doors and whatever else you want. It's no one else's business. And yes,
whilst I agree there are a lot of good animal charities around, people come first in my book.

I agree wholeheartedly with Flickety - spend it and enjoy it. Don't explain yourself and don't feel guilty. Make a will leaving it to whoever/whatever you want - remembering that they will only get what there is left behind anyway!!!

Prioritise: Fix up the house; provide for possible care needs for yourself and OH (and cat); live a little! No, live a lot.

You can do whatever you like with your money, it as nothing whatsoever to do with your relatives or your husbands.
Any pressure from anyone tell them to take a running jump over the next cliff.
What a nerve your brother as telling you to leave the money to him and then saying it's selfish spending money on yourself.
I'd tell the next person that mentions it that you have made a will out whether you have or not it is up to you and you no longer want to discuss this any further and if they do bring it up again they are not welcome to visit.