Torn over money

Abbey Have a look at this
https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will
It's a sort of online flow-chart.
If your husband died before you, your brother would get all your money.

I can understand your reluctance, in a way, and your irritation at other people wanting to earmark their share of your wealth.

But wills are not the final word. You can alter them at any time - if you decide at some point you'd prefer the Cats' League to the Battersea Dogs' Home after all, you just change your will accordingly.

Oh and welcome to Gransnet

Thanks. Thanks also for the welcome.

I can live with potluck. Thats how I came by the money in the first place. My aunt and my father died intestate.

If my husband choses to leave it to his sisters, then so be it. If I die after him and my brother gets it, then thats his luck. But I dont want to write them all in or out. I dont like being pressured either.

If I could pick without being pressured (except to leave it to my husband if I die first) I would leave all of it to an animal charity although I do not know which - probably whoever is willing to look aftermy cat AND NOT PUT HIM DOWN because he is "old". Leaving it to a charity would upset them all frankly and leave me with rows and arguments galore for the next upteen years.

Its just being pushed all the time as if they all feel a right to it somehow. Now I am being unreasonable.

I had thought about spending some on windows/doors for the house and getting it done up but I was told by my brother I was spending my dads/aunts money for myself and I shouldnt. Maybe that gives an idea of the situation. I dont know.

You don't have to tell anyone what your will says Abbey, nor does your brother have any right to tell you how to spend your own money.
Practise saying 'It's none of your business' in front of the mirror

Welcome Abbey - I can see you are in a dilemma. Your brother is wrong to describe the money you have inherited as your dads/aunts - it is YOURS and you can do exactly what you want with it. You do not have to consult or inform your brother either!

As regards your estate when you die, it sounds as if it will be a large one and unless you do make proper provision there will be quite a lot of Inheritance Tax going straight to the Government.

If I were you I would seek proper financial advice about the best way to leave things. It may be that a trust is advised with animal charities set as one beneficiary.

Think about it and seek advice - you can then make an informed decision.

If you should leave the money to your brother does he intend to spend it on himself/ family or just keep it because it was your /Aunt's/Dad's money!!!
As has been said there is no need for you to tell anyone you have made a will let alone say what is in it!

It sounds to me as if you will leave more that £650k which means 40% of everything above that will go to the treasury. If it were me I would spend it on doing up the house and making it comfortable for me as I got older. We did that as soon as we moved here 4 years ago.

If you write a will your wishes will be carried out after your death and before that no one needs to know what is in it. We are about to change ours to reduce the number of people who will benefit, it is very easy to do. You don't need to leave any of it to family, perhaps you have a friend you would like to leave some to? Perhaps there is an organisation you have belonged to which could benefit. If there is no one in particular you feel you want to leave it to how about a local hospice, they do good work. I'm sure you could find plenty of organisations which would do much good with a large amount of money and if the charities get it I don't think the 40% tax is payable.

I agree that you should get some financial advice before doing it though.

Another thought, if you have more than £85k in any one bank it will not be safe if the bank goes under. You need to spread it about a bit.

If you listen to this link to an item on the radio last night it could suggest a worthwhile charity to you.

Warning: it is extremely upsetting.

Start listening, if you want to, at about 00 13 20

link

Will or no will, on that amount of money a neck of a lot of money will line the government coffers.

Charities are exempt from Inheritance Tax.

Should have read "a heck of a lot"

Good luck if you choose multiple savings accounts. You will spend a lot of time in front of your computer screen, watching over it all. A sure road to anxiety and depression.

Welcome Abbey, I don't like being told what to do either!

It's your money to do what you like with, I would tell them all that I'd lost it gambling!

My uncle who was single and in his eighties found he had a lot of "friends".his tactic was to say I'll see you all right. In fact he left £1000to each of the closest of his cronies. You could do the same. And Abby get your house sorted before it becomes a tiresome chore in your seventies.

Hello, Abbey and welcome! I agree with everything other GNs are saying, and I'd also like to endorse what Moved says.

Think of your future, and how you would like it to be, and make your home a safe and very comfortable place for both of you. You can afford to do it, and why not? The house we are in now is exactly how we want it to be (well, I can always think of more!) and it will be easy to run as we get older.

Look after yourself and Mr Abbey first! It is your money!

Whilst my relatives know the contents of my Will they do encourage me to spend! The money is yours to do with as you please - I agree you should spend some money on making your home comfortable and tell everyone else to go take a hike! With the amount of money you have I would strongly advise you to make a Will.

Welcome Abby. I am with the majority, its your money do what you like with it but I feel that as you have no children you should spend as much as you can of it on you and your husband because as they say, there are no pockets in a shroud. Go on a cruise, lose it all gambling in Las Vegas, redecorate and refurnish your home from top to bottom, whatever appeals to you, but most of all enjoy it and if you do not want to make a will, don't. If you are not bothered who has the money after you die, you do not need one anyway. At least nobody will be able to complain because they were left out

I also would strongly advise you to make a will. The money that I may have left (after nursing home fees etc) will be divided between I think 10 charities. The relatives that I have are not close and if they were, they could also take a run and a jump as it will be my decision as it is yours.

I agree, make yourselves comfortable at home and also for later life if either or both will need nursing home care. That is not cheap.

Have you got money in ISAs and premium bonds to lessen the tax bill?

You say your aunt died intestate - in that case her estate must have been shared between you and your brother ( you say she was your mothers sister) or does your brother have a different mother or is this a wind up? It doesn't quite add up - no nice friends or relatives whose lives you'd like to improve ( now or later)? No causes you are committed to apart from
One that will look after your cat? Goodness if I had that amount if money lying around I'd get so much pleasure out of all the good I could do with it.

I think you should start doing holidays and spend some of it seeing as there is no-one apart from your husband you want to leave it to. The world is full of lovely places you could be visiting.

Actually, I think you are being really silly. You need to man up a bit. It's your money. Do what you want with it.

Get your stuffing doors and windows done. Tell them to sod off.

And then think about the good you could do to people, not flippin' animals.

now

Totally moronic first post.

Yes GN. Delete it.

I've got so much money! And I don't want anyone else to have any. What shall I do?!!!

Finger down throat emoticon.

Spot on J0