Changing a joint Will

My wife made an appointment to change our wills and she dragged me along to see a solicitor.

After a few hours it was done and dusted to our joint agreement.

It left me wondering why I had prevaricated.

If I am reading this correctly your husband has no children and you have three. You say the will says if you go within a month of each other everything should go to your husband's close relative but what does it say if one of you survives the other by more than a month, surely the will should cover this? What if the relative predeceases you both, what does the will say about that eventuality.

Was the property your husband's before you married and was that why you agreed to everything going to his relative? I'm sorry but I would never agree to leaving everything to someone who is already comfortably off and not to my children. You say the property and other assets are in joint names which means that half is yours and the decision about what happens to your half is yours but of course I can see that you don't want to upset your husband.

Somebody more knowledgable than me can clarify this but I believe you can set up a Land Trust which can identify the parties you want to own the property when the second of you passes away. I believe that the property would go to those named automatically without having to go through probate. If your husband wants it, his close relative could be one of those named, meaning he/she would get a quarter share along with your three children.

Regarding your possessions, you can write out your wishes regarding these and this letter of wishes can be referred to in a will. Better still see that they go where you want them to now.

I agree with others that you should protect your children so you need to seek legal advice.

You absolutely need to see a solicitor, preferably with the existing will or a copy. Best of all of course would be if you and your husband talk it through, decide what you both want, and go together. But legal advice over gnet is not the way to go.

Please see a solicitor as soon as you can, don't leave it too long in case you find yourself in the situation I found myself in. My husband wanted to make changes to his will but I kept putting off making an appointment as he was suffering from an incurable disease and I suppose I was a bit superstitious. The upshot was that he made the changes shortly before he died and I am now being accused of forcing him to change his will when he was dying. Believe me, it is not a pleasant experience so I would say to anyone, do it sooner rather than later.

If you want to leave jewellery to your Children and grandchildren why not do it now. Just give them a piece each, save any problems later. I have given some of my jewellery that I no longer wear to my children. They were very pleased to have it and wear it now.

Oh my word if I was you I would be phoning a solicitor now not writing this. I have redone my will about 3 times since 1990 as my children have got older. (Married,divorced married widowed). You can leave your half to your children and have a deed of trust so you husband can remain in your home as long as he live's but your half of the home would belong to your children but they would have no claim to it until after your husband has died. So protecting the roof over your husband's head.

Yes - as already mentioned, it is important to be aware of the difference between being 'tenants in common' and 'joint tenants' of a property. The former works better in cases of remarriage for example when both parties would like to ensure their children from a previous marriage are ensured of a percentage of the property.

As I'm a Catholic and no one else in my family attends church I've sorted out exactly what I want for my funeral. I downloaded a profirma from a church in Somerset and I've filled in all the readings and hymns I want. I'm at an age where I go to lots of funerals and I know how trait it can be for your relatives to sort out all these things. My sister has done exactly the same. DH and I have mirror wills but every thing will be divided between our 3 children equally

We're giving to our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren as fast as we can, whilst we're aware to enjoy watching. Saving enough aside for good end of life care and holidays. Our funerals are written and arranged. Get thee to an attorney!

margrete I think I got joint tenancy and tenants in common the wrong way round.
Joint tenants is the more usual way for a married couple to own a property.
Just off to check ours

Surely this is a case for consulting an expert - ie a solicitor? That's what they do, innit?

He might say he doesn`t care what happens after he is dead but surely he would like to be remembered fondly.

Because of things in my FIL`s will his children and his wife now have some very negative feelings about him - not because of the amount of money concerned but because his will hadn`t been written correctly and it has caused much stress sorting it out. I don`t believe he was deliberately unkind but he hadn`t considered all of the implications that the will led to.

I would recommend you see the wills and ask a solicitor to go through them to see if anything needs clarifying

The last thing you want is for your assets to go to to a wealthy relative of your husband when you have children!

If he isn't bothered (which he should be) then you will have to consult a solicitor yourself. Like a lot of people he probably doesn't like to think about mortality but getting valid wills can save a whole lot of expense and bad feeling and worry and resentment.

If he won't see a solicitor you will have to bite the bullet and take yourself. You need advice.

Or at least try the Citizens' Advice Bureau.

Your husband can do whatever he wants wth his share of the house but for peace of mind you need to see a solicitor and have your wills changed. You need to do this sooner rather than later. You do have to tell your husband what you plan to do and why. I'm sure he'll be fine about it but if he isn't you will just have to go along and see a solicitor on your own. Yes,you can leave your share of the property to your children but like others on here have said why don't you ask your daughter to choose a few pieces of jewellery now!.

Any good family law firm of solicitors will be able to help you.

Cathy04, have you considered what would happen to your legacy if your husband's close relative inherited and died shortly afterwards. My dad & siblings were very happy for their father's house to be left to his housekeeper/old friend who had cared for him for years. However, when the dear lady died 6 months later it then passed to her ne'er-do-well thief of a son who grand-dad hated. In no way suggesting that this would be anyone else's experience but it's worth thinking about the bigger picture and longer term.
As others are saying, please do consult a
professional.

I am not clear what the current position is if you were to predecease your OH under the terms of the joint will. Maybe you need to start again and create separate wills. Are you happy for your own children not to be among the beneficiaries?

Write down what you want to happen and take that to a solicitor to make it happen.

My husband and I are 'second time around'. We own our house as tenants in common and our shares are left to our children. The surviving spouse has the right to live in the house but must maintain it.
I have savings in my name which would go straight to my children and my husband's savings would go straight to his. The only joint account we have is for household bills and we both pay equal amounts into this.
The only problem that is obvious to me is if the surviving partner wanted to move, maybe downsize. As I am older than my husband, I have said to my daughters to allow him to move the money to another property but still keep the appropriate amount in their names. They are not money grabbing so would do this.

Seek legal advice. It really is the only way through this. You have an absolute right to leave your possessions etc to whom you wish. Good luck.

We haven't made a will yet, but I don't want to leave anything to our son's. One of them said he has no problem with this. Our other son hasn't spoken to us for nearly one year. We want to leave everything to our 4 grandchildren.

With regard to your wishes for your funeral, make people aware of that separately from your Will. People very often don't look at the Will until after the funeral.

You should also look into making your joint ownership of the property into tenants in common. Although this will not alter any IHT it will give you the right to decide who should get part of the house proceeds.

My wife and I made a will in the 90s when we went back to the solicitors to change it in 2006 they had been taken over by another firm of solicitors and they could find 'no trace' of us ever making a will even though we had a receipt and letter from the original firm. They also told us that they could make a new will for us but if they acted as executor of the will they have a stranded charge of £9,000 pounds.
No thanks in the end we contacted Which who done it for us.

I have a husband who tells me not to worry as he will out live me.with his health not likely. There was one point I raised frequently. Then he came home one day and said his friends had said exactly what I had. Youwoukd think I had never mentioned it. It was immediately done!

This really must be sorted out asap. It's no good your DH saying it doesn't matter about things after he's dead - because it does. It will make things very difficult to administer the estate without a Will, and will be very costly.

Having heped my husband administer his late mother's estate, it was a very stressful time and took 18 months to finalise - probate can take up to 9 months alone without any other difficulties.

So, think about those left behind - the last thing they will want to do in their time of loss and grief is to be embroiled in uncertainty. xx

Dear cathy04 - Please, please do get to a Solicitor! If you are worrying about this being costly, it does not need to be - just use the "Free Will Writing Service" which most Solicitors can do for you, in which you nominate your favourite Charity - all you pay is an even modest Donation to that Charity. This is exactly what I did last October, making a donation to Cats Protection. I came away with five copies of a 4-page Will, one each for my children and myself, and the 5th copy left safely with the Solicitor. I believe he also sent an electronic copy for safe-keeping to the National Will Register in London. Do be sure to tell your children to keep their copy safe, and always know your wishes re Burial/cremation/or whatever your wishes are.