Changing a joint Will

As a practising solicitor in this field I would say that you must go to see a solicitor with experience in Wills, and change your Will. Your assets are in joint names with your husband, so will pass to him automatically if you die first. You need to change that by "severing" the joint tenancy so you become "tenants in common". You can then leave your half of the assets to whoever you like. That's a very simple step involving a letter from you to your husband and the solicitor will be able to prepare that, but you do need to notify your husband. Then you make a new Will. Your new Will can leave all your assets outright to your children, who I expect would be devastated if they found that you had almost completely left them out of your Will.
A word or two about the terminology:
"Mirror Wills" has no legal meaning except that they are two Wills in the same form eg "all to my spouse if I die first." "Joint Will" might mean a single Will executed by both of you and is very unusual indeed. "Mutual Wills" are where you have promised each other that you will make Wills in a certain way and not change them without each other's knowledge or (possibly) consent. Again very unusual. Go to see a solicitor. Take copies of your and your husband's existing Wills if you have them. Don't delay.

And as regards your remains, that is a matter for your executors, so the new Will should appoint the children as the executors (not your husband) and they can then carry out your wishes.

With regard to your premium bonds, I would suggest you read up the rules about what happens to them if someone dies. I think they can be entered for the monthly draws for 1 year, but after that they become part of the estate, and cannot be passed on to anyone. Please read the rules about what you can do, as it looks to me that the only way you could let your children have them is by cashing them in and letting your children buy them with the money. Or by making your own will, I think you must get legal advice, otherwise your children may end up with nothing.

To add to what Cinnamon said, I think that 'Mirror Wills' are popular with couples who would not have complications of step-children etc because they are cheaper - both identical apart from changing the names on each!

Thank you all for your replies.

Spurred on by your posts I broached the subject, concentrating on my feelings. I said that I would respect his wishes should he go before me and he said he would respect mine. I think part of the problem is that he hates the thought of me 'going' before him. He was horrified when he realised how upset I feel and we had a good talk. He also agreed that the Wills needed changing and has no problem with the children getting equal shares.He also said that his relation has no need of the money so everything could be divided between them. So the result is that we have written out 2 copies of new Wills, mine and his and have made an appointment with a solicitor.

I think the idea of a separate letter detailing my wishes regarding funeral arrangements is a good one so I will do that.

Something else, a couple of people suggested giving pieces of jewelry while I am alive. Don't know why I didn't think of that.
So all in all a good result.

Well done Cathy04
Sometimes the thought of doing something is worse than the deed!

Is it morally wrong to make a will, excluding one child, that never sees or cares for you. I still love this child who is very wealthy, my other who is not and I get on and he does care for me. if I did that, could the one I exclude contest it, she has the money to do that. I don't want to leave siblings at odds with each other although they are barely in contact now either. The money doesn't interest me when I've gone, it's the house I live in where the equity lies.