Very Worried, What on earth do I do?

Most wills are written with good intentions as it seems in Livlass’s case but can be misunderstood, couples should talk to each other about the future.
With second marriages you should keep your finances separate if you can. Step children are often concerned that they will be disadvantaged when dad or mum remarries, that often causes sour relationships, you can head that off by reassuring them, show them that you have been fair.

A new spouse should not expect to get a large inheritance from what may be a short marriage, this applies to both genders, widows remarrying probably need to be even more aware. You are never going to cover every eventuality but try to consider everyone, use your head and a solicitor.

I would be asking myself am a wife or a housekeeper. If it’s the latter I would hand my notice in.

Supernan

I would be asking myself am a wife or a housekeeper. If it’s the latter I would hand my notice in.

Or a Husband or companion!.

Due to your age you will be allowed to remain in the property and it will not be counted as your DHs asset for care costs. Also making the property exempt will be if you are regarded as DHs carer before needing full time care. Also I would suggest that when a Will has conditions such as you mentioned there is provision for you to move to accommodation to meet your needs, say downsize using the value of the existing property to do so. Any funds left from the sale of your current home when you move would go to the family identified in the Will. Again this is allowed within Care Regulations and I would hope any decent solicitor would have made sure this was stipulated in the Will even whilst your DH is alive. Please check out the conditions in the Will. I doubt if your DH could make you homeless on his death.

Supernan

I would be asking myself am a wife or a housekeeper. If it’s the latter I would hand my notice in.

I think Suernan has hit this on the head.

Agree - see a Solicitor ! Good luck

One item you may want to be sure to check with your solicitor about is maintenance and taxes on the property in this situation. It sounds shaky if kids with drug issues are in charge.

I was in the same situation, my partner of 33 years always told me that the house would be left to his son. In his will he specified that I could live in the house for as long as I wanted. Think very carefully about how you might feel if you are left alone. Once my partner had died I suddenly felt like the lodger, I couldn’t do anything to the house as it wasn’t mine. I decided to move and signed a deed of variation. One other thing to consider is if the house is left to a blood relation the amount requiring inheritance tax is affected but if you decide to stay in the house you may have to pay inheritance tax as the property hasn’t gone directly to the person who inherited it. I bought my own little bungalow and am so glad I did. My partners son has been trying to sell the house for over 12 months now and it is a millstone round his neck

There are questions that occur to me if your husband gives you the right to live in the house for the rest of your life. For example, who pays for the insurance, the upkeep, any remedial works, improvements, etc? Do you have to ask permission from the children if you need to make adjustments to live there in your old age? Who repays you for the refurbishment costs you have made to improve the value of the property or if you have children, are his children going to benefit over yours? If you have no means of raising money on the value of the property, what happens if costly works need to be done and you or the sons can't afford it? It is all very well making a will that gives you life long residency but there are many pitfalls in what your husband has done.
Is your husband aware that having married you, he cannot just say you have no financial interest in the property? The law may not agree especially as you have spent money improving it. Unless you had a prenuptial agreement (which aren't necessarily enforceable either in British Courts) upon marriage, the starting point for dividing assets in a divorce is 50/50 and it is likely to be the same if you contested the Will. It is better to get this sorted out before you need to spend a lot of money through the courts which would waste your step-children's inheritance and any benefit to you.
You don't need to be a money grabbing stepmother to want to protect yourself in your later years but you have a right to live without worry. I am sure your husband is well meaning and he may well have thought of all these things but it is surprising that he has done this without discussing this with you.
Finally, just because he has written this Will, it doesn't necessarily make it valid. There are many writers of formulaic Wills out there who don't have a clue about the intricacies of Marital Law.

I think you’re best bet is to leave him, divorce him and claim your half of the house. I couldn’t stay with someone willing to do this to me.

My dad moved in with his sister to look after her in her last years. He thought she'd made provision for him to live in the house until he died, but actually she hadn't! One of her adult sons moved in and made life so uncomfortable that dad had to move out. So try to see the Will and get proper legal advice on it if you can.

Yes,,,do go and see a solicitor asap (phone consultations are still going ahead)...make sure you have all your documents in front of you .....and ask what rights you have to see the Will, as it affects your position should your husband pre decease you ..i.e. DO the children have any rights to claim the house before you die....what happens if you die first (if you have children, or a charity you want money to go to for instance)....what is your position in the event that your husband requires care placement.......and this leaves you homeless ? It is a very difficult scenario ....if as you say, the children are aggressive this needs to be sorted in order to give you some rights ....in France, where we lived before my husband died, his daughter , even when he dying, was 'too busy' to come to see him and said it was too far (I offered to collect her from the airport around 80km away and take her back).....so she never came, which upset him. However, in France the law of succession applies so you cannot cut children out of a Will (except if they have murdered their parent !) and so she inherited her share of the proceeds of sale of the house. She THEN said it was not enough and said she was going to contest it .....at which point I had nothing more to do with her .......my own daughter cut me off about 14 years ago, and I was fortunate to receive an inheritance last year which enabled me to buy somewhere to live, and I asked my solicitor if I could leave her and my grandson (whom I have never met) something, and an ISA for my grandson ....I was told NO, you need the mother's consent but she could overturn your Will in court if she wanted (as I have now had to leave her nothing !)...I have made my Will stating that only IF she ever contacts me, when I will notify the solicitor and change my Will) then she will receive an inheritance from my Estate..............so very difficult when these things have to be done ...and complicated to sort out. Make sure you also have any evidence of things you have paid for from your own money (i e from the sale of your previous property if owned by you solely)......and DO stress to your husband you need to see the Will. Not sure if it can legally be done, but your solicitor might be able to get in touch with the solicitor who made your husband's Will and get permission from the Courts to know the contents so you would then know if what he said is true. So sad he will not show you it (do you know where it is > i e a hiding place (mine was underneath a drawer in the bedside table, for instance, once, many years ago in a different life (!)).....a relative once told me to put some things away in a drawer in which I would find an envelope which I was to open and read the 'thing' inside;;;put it back and say nothing ....I did, and it was a copy of her Will leaving an inheritance to her three nephews and nieces ...unfortunately her husband took a solicitor into the hospital where she was dying and had her change it to leave everything to him as he said 'it will be easier'....thereby cutting out the people she had wanted to inherit ! Nowt so queer as folks ...and so sad ! ps Make your own Will at the same time .........good luck

Peasblossom

Don’t sell your house*ajswan*. Keep it and rent it. Then you’ll always have that security. Money invested might not keep up with house prices if you have to move out and buy again.

Thanks Peasblossom, good idea, plus it will save selling fees etc. BTW, livlass, I noticed in the original post that you said that you offered to buy half his house which means that you have money of your own. You need to protect your money as well so that his children cannot get their hands on it. Good luck, be strong and stay safe.

Definitely take legal advice whilst you are able to discuss with husband and well and able

LivLass - you will have legal right to remain in the house until you die and yes your husband's AC might try to get you out to realise their inheritance but they won't be able to do that. I would worry more about the money you have put into the house in refurbishment because if any of that has increased the value of the house then your husband is depriving you of that by leaving all the house and his money to his AC. You should discuss this with him - you have made a contribution however small, and if the refurbishments mean that the house value has increased just by a few thousand pounds then you should ask him to acknowledge that. One thing's for certain I wouldn't be spending any more refurbishing a property that isn't going to yield a profit. I would also ask or try to find out whether if you have the right to live in the house until you die, you also have the right to rent out a room so you can reclaim some of your investment should you want to do that.

I don't think anyone else has said this yet. My apologies if they have.

You need to find out who he has appointed as Power of Attorney and if it's for both health and wealth.

I agree with others that his will needs to say you can stay there after his death.

If your money is in your name and you have said in your will, who inherits your estate, his children have no claim to it under any circumstances.

If you're actually officially married to him, and have contributed to the upkeep of the house, then I think you'd have good grounds to contest his will anyway.

Ask your husband if you can see his solicitor with him or zoom call or whatever to have it explained. It is not unreasonable that having got together so late in life he has chosen to ensure his wealth goes to his bloodline but as the home clearly affects you, should he predecease you, I'm sure he will understand you wanting to clarify matters so you can feel safe.
Make a list of your questions in advance of any meeting so you can concentrate on what is being said and then you will be able to just read out your questions at the end.
Ignore what friends, relatives or indeed any of us have said happened to them or a friend of theirs. It is too important not to seek professional advice.

Why would he not just leave you the house?What sort of a husband is he??And why not leave you the savings to use for the upkeep of the house whilst you live there?He doesnt sound a very nice man in my opinion.?

ReadyMeals.

to contest a will and lose will be very expensive risk!

I had a similar, but less worrying situation with my late husband. We made Wills at the same time, and the House was left to me in my lifetime, but savings and Shares , plus the contents of the house went to his children. The Will was badly worded, and when he passed away, I encountered all kinds of problems. I still have the house, which is rented out, as I could not afford to live there. It's a large property in a high Rates area. It was his home, prior to his wife dying, more than twenty years before we met. His Adult Children hated me on sight, and it got worse when we married (after nine years of courtship). After the funeral, his daughter came to the house, with a Removal Van, plus several large men, and stripped the house of everything she wanted (she left one bed, an old three piece suite and a TV, taking the fridge and freezer (including my food). Fortunately, I had kept my own home, which was up for sale, but hadn't actually sold!
Ten years later, I still have the house, which I continue to maintain - and despite my own family's opposition - still intend to leave it to her (his son has since died). The daughter has not spoken to me since, has re-married and moved, but Solicitors will have to sort that out. I agree with other contributors that the OP needs her own financial advice from a Solicitor or CAB.

Please go and see a Solicitor yourself and get advice to protect you in the event that your husband died before you... you must!

Nannan2

Why would he not just leave you the house?What sort of a husband is he??And why not leave you the savings to use for the upkeep of the house whilst you live there?He doesnt sound a very nice man in my opinion.?

How can you say someone is 'not a nice man' based on so little information?

The couple have been married for four years, and the OP presumably has money of her own as she offered to put a lump sum into the ownership of the house. The fact that her husband didn't accept this suggests to me that he was thinking about his children's inheritance, which is only natural.

If I pre-deceased my husband and he remarried then left the house to his wife of four years I would come back and haunt him . I worked to pay for half of the house, and expect to leave it to our children, not to a future wife. If that makes me 'not very nice', then so be it.

Obviously life goes on after the death of a spouse, and seriously, I would hope that he would find and be happy with someone else if I went first, but that doesn't mean that I would be happy for her to take my children's inheritance. Our wills say that each inherits from the other, and if we go together everything goes to the children. Whatever the legal position, I would expect the principle behind that joint decision to continue after one or other of us died.

I think that allowing the OP to stay in the house as long as she wants to is a fair recognition of the fact that she is his wife now, but I can't see how there is a moral case for her being entitled to more than that. The money that she has contributed would have had to be spent wherever she lived, so is not reason enough to expect to inherit everything.

The fact that the children of his first marriage are, apparently, unstable means that yes, the OP needs to protect her interests, and I agree that her husband should have included her in the discussions all along. In her situation I would be asking to see the will, and getting legal advice about what it could mean in practice, and then looking into how best to ensure that I wasn't going to be left homeless or otherwise compromised in older age.

The OP doesn't say what will happen to her own money if she goes first - I would be looking closely at that, too. Overall, it is a complicated situation that could have been avoided if the husband had been upfront about things all along, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he is 'not a nice man.'

I’m coming at this from the other direction. My partner moved into my property, and with the help of a solicitor I set up a trust leaving my home and assets to my adult children, with the proviso that my partner could live out his days in my house. There was also a clause inserted that the trust could purchase a smaller property for him, if that was what wanted. All upkeep would be covered by the trust, and my children were kept informed, so that there would be no surprises. All this became moot as he died a few years ago, but it is possible to make everything watertight. We visited the solicitor together, so he knew exactly how it was set up for his peace of mind.
I think, as others have said, that you need to clarify your position with a solicitor, although I don’t think that you can demand sight of his actual will without his permission.
Hope everything can be sorted for you. I feel so sorry for you, as this is such a worrying position to be in.

why would a husband make a will without involving his wife in the planning of it. and then resist showing her the will. she should certainly have a copy of it.
i would consider divorce proceedings in this situation.