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Moral guidance please, should we claim benefits just because we can?

(147 Posts)
JanetG Mon 25-Jan-21 08:12:49

I am in my early 70s and have incurable ovarian cancer. My husband and I live comfortably and he is managing the extra household bits and pieces quite well at the moment. I am still well enough to enjoy life most of the time and am having chemotherapy with the hope of giving me extra symptom controlled time in this world.
My dilemma is that apparently we are entitled to claim attendance allowance as I am terminally ill, but we do not actually need extra help and the only extra costs at the moment are regular trips to hospital. It would feel wrong to take money that we don’t absolutely need, but I’ve been told, “but you’re entitled to it”.
I thought we paid into the system to help those in real need not to grab it back for ourselves just because we can.
Any thoughts please.

NannyMags Mon 25-Jan-21 11:33:00

That is such a good idea

Daddima Mon 25-Jan-21 11:35:22

Caragran

Why do people always say "they are entitled to it so they are going to have it " no matter what it is.
My ex sister-in-law is just like that.
No wonder the country is in such a state.

How very cruel you sound.

I can only agree with what others have said. Please use it to make your life easier. My father had a terminal diagnosis, and received the AA very quickly. The Bodach received it too, and if I remember correctly, the lady from the Alzheimer’s group offered to help with the form, which wasn’t too bad.
I hope your chemo gives you lots of symptom control.

NannyMags Mon 25-Jan-21 11:35:33

PoppyRed that is such a good idea, pay for a cleaner and allow your husband to spend more time with you. Any money left over put it away for when you will require more help.

Buffy Mon 25-Jan-21 11:35:50

Take it. There are no consolations to having Cancer but take it and use it for something that might give you enjoyment.

Joesoap Mon 25-Jan-21 11:36:14

Sorry to hear of your illness,you sound a lovely person, coping well. As others have said it might be good to claim now, and then its all in place when you need it later on, it could help now if you want somebody to do things for you in the garden or other things to relieve your Husband,
Good luck to you both

beverly10 Mon 25-Jan-21 11:37:23

JanetG
A A is for those who are unable to carry out personal care for themselves so pay someone to do it for them. Contact the Department for Works and Pensions(DWP )You will find this information on line.

KarenR Mon 25-Jan-21 11:45:24

JanetG,
I send you my best wishes.
I looked after my dad in my home for three years while he battled prostate cancer. I took all the help I could get. At first the attendance allowance was more than we payed for carers but ultimately it was way, way less.
I found the help of his hospice invaluable and if you have not already I would highly recommend asking your GP to refer you. My dad didn’t ever go into the hospice but their nurses visited and were absolutely magnificent in helping us access all the free services to which my dad was entitled.
I also had a visit once a week of 3 hours from Crossroads Care, crossroadscaresurrey.org.uk/ this was free and the waiting list was lengthy so well worth getting on it, I believe this is Surrey based hopefully they’ll be able to point you in the direction of services local to you. Dad loved the wonderful carers who came and looked forward to their visits and it gave me a break. Looking after someone who is poorly is quite a strain sometimes.
You could also consider the Brigitte Trust to whom I am forever grateful.
www.brigittetrust.org/
Life is for living, if the money allows you to employ a cleaner or a gardener to give you and your husband more together time or maybe a nice meal out once a week when we’re allowed (takeaway for now). Again when we’re permitted a nice little break away now and again or trip to a show. These things are not frivolous, they are imperative to wellbeing and definitely in the remit of the allowance. Most of us spend our life paying in, now is the time for you to take out entirely without guilt. X

beverly10 Mon 25-Jan-21 11:50:28

JanetG.
There is also Carers Allowance. Information on this is also available from the DWP. Your H may be entitled to this.
Again there will be 'form filling'

jocork Mon 25-Jan-21 11:51:25

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I would advise you to claim now in case you find you need it later. As others have said, you can always give to support other needy causes if it is surplus to requirements. Many charities are really struggling since the pandemic started as so many people are struggling and can no longer afford to donate. There are many people who have fallen through the benefit safety net, not being entitled to help when others in similar circumstances are being helped and they are reliant on charities to survive. Maybe you know of someone in that position and could give an anonymous gift.

Employing someone to help around the house or in the garden may be giving emploment to some one who really needs it at the moment.

I admire your desire to do the right thing but there may be needs you will have in the future that you don't anticipate, so claiming now could save lots of worry later. If you don't need it later it can still be given away to a good cause.

janeainsworth Mon 25-Jan-21 11:51:57

If everyone who was entitled to claim, did claim, then the extra money they would have would spread into the wider community. An extra trip to the hairdressers here, a lunch outing to a cafe with friends there, maybe a taxi home with the shopping. Paying someone to help with the garden that has become too much, or to do some decorating. But you get the idea, these little amounts of money from lots of people can make all the difference to local businesses. So you could see it not just as a benefit for you, but also something that will potentially help your local community

That’s an excellent point, purple

JaneJudge Mon 25-Jan-21 12:00:03

It is a good point and it also means voluntary services aren't heavily relied on, as they are. I think Beverly has highlighted that you might need some help filling in the forms. These are helpful places to look.

www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/benefits-entitlements/attendance-allowance/

www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/impacts-of-cancer/benefits-and-financial-support/benefits-and-your-rights

Debs551964 Mon 25-Jan-21 12:00:48

I'm so sorry to hear of your illness ?
I too agree with Nortsat and Janet. It's put in place for people in your situation so go for it. There is likely to come a time when you will need it and the stress of filling in their paperwork might prove to be too much.
Use the money and spend many memories with you DH now. Get a cleaner, buy these online home delivery meals advertised on TV. They look delicious..... This way you can spend much more time together now whilst the situation allows you.
Thinking of you and sending you my love and lots of hugs ???❤️

Lulu16 Mon 25-Jan-21 12:01:09

I think that you should claim, to make your life easier.
My parents were slow to take advantage of help available and their quality of life deteriorated because they refused accept what was rightfully their entitlement.
Best wishes to you both x

joesdadnick Mon 25-Jan-21 12:09:55

The money is there for everyone in our situation, my own I get High rate PIP as I am under 66, and my cancer is terminal like yours, but you could live for many more years yet, so look upon the money to help as some say with getting a cleaner in, taxis to hospital although you should also be able to claim for travel to and from hospital , mileage/bus/taxis etc. If you need help the Macmillan trust will help, or the local hospice I was in who have a dedicated person who can write directly to the relevant department without having to fill in forms. The money I get is paid weekly.

antheacarol55 Mon 25-Jan-21 12:15:17

I would and donate it to your favourite charity

Hollycat Mon 25-Jan-21 12:27:14

Definitely claim it. Put it in place now, your husband may be glad if it and able to spend more time with you rather than doing “bits and pieces”.

Buttonjugs Mon 25-Jan-21 12:34:08

Shropshirelass

You are entitled to it, you have already paid for it with your taxes. As you very sadly have cancer, I believe you are also entitled to claim for PIP, previously called DLA. Cancer patients are normally awarded this immediately. PIPis not means tested, you can receive it even if you are still working. Good luck with your treatment.

I am pretty sure you can’t claim PIP once you reach state pension age but you are definitely entitled to claim Attendance Allowance and you should with no qualms. If you don’t claim, the money won’t go to anyone who is in more need it will just stay in the coffers. You should use the money to make the time you have left more enjoyable. The money is for making your life better, whether it’s paying for carers or a few extra treats. It doesn’t matter, you are entitled to it and you deserve it.

Blossoming Mon 25-Jan-21 12:41:19

phoenix

Do you already get PIP?

Could be wrong, but I believe AA is a means tested benefit, and if you have more than £129 pw left after "reasonable" living expenses you won't get it.

PIP is purely based on your condition, and how it impacts on your daily life.

Attendance Allowance isn’t means tested, you may be confusing it with pension credit.

supergirlsnan Mon 25-Jan-21 12:43:54

I haven't read the full thread but, in case no one has corrected a previous poster, you either claim PIP or AA, not both. PIP is for under 65's and AA for over. Neither is means tested and as staff are very busy both can take a while to be sorted. Wishing OP the very best.

JanCl Mon 25-Jan-21 12:44:45

Sorry to hear your situation. I would say, definitely claim it. It could make a real difference to your quality of life, as others have described. Don't wait until you feel you do need extra help. The form is fairly complicated, though may be more straightforward with your diagnosis, and it could take a little while to process. You could always donate any of it you don't use for extra help to your favourite charity or your local food bank.

mostlyharmless Mon 25-Jan-21 12:44:47

JanetG I was just pondering exactly the same problem. My husband’s Attendance Allowance form has arrived in the post this morning and we were just looking through it. My husband (70) has an incurable cancer and there are no treatment options left beyond palliative.

There is, as others have said, a difference between “incurable” and “terminal”. Terminal meaning probably less than six months. But who knows?

At the moment our extra costs are minor, mainly extra heating and the cost of frequent hospital visits. But I know we will need to pay for care costs in the future. The local “Hospice at Home” seems brilliant, but I’m aware that a great deal of care will be probably be necessary in the final weeks and months - although I don’t like to think too much about that stage.

So we will apply for it. The hospice, Macmillan nurses and the local palliative care team have all encouraged us to apply.

He has a DS1500 from his consultant which we used to apply for a blue badge. Our reason for applying for a blue badge was that frequent emergency hospital admissions were made extremely stressful by me not being able to park easily near the hospital entrance. The blue badge has made that much easier, we haven’t used it for anything else.

You might not ”need” the money at this stage, but it might make your lives easier through this difficult time.

Theoddbird Mon 25-Jan-21 12:52:10

One day you might need extra help. If you take it now you will have it for when you might need it. You could always give it to Macmillan nurses...a charity who do amazing things.

Alioop Mon 25-Jan-21 12:55:27

Claim the benefit Janet, you are so entitled to it. As others have said, donate it if you don't use it, but maybe later on someone coming in to clean, etc will be a great help. Your hubby sounds a real star. Take care.x

Whitewavemark2 Mon 25-Jan-21 13:01:55

janet what an impressive OP. I hope that I can be so together if the same happens to me.

Claim the benefit, and use it as others have suggested to make life as easy as possible.

With all the very best wishes ?

sharkgirl Mon 25-Jan-21 13:03:09

Sorry to hear this Janet, I wish I'd have known about the benefit earlier than 2 months before my husband died (he had been ill for 13 years), it would have covered time off work or as someone else mentioned a cleaner or maybe car park fees at the hospital, no one thought to mention it to me until it was too late, same as the disabled sticker for the car park, it still annoys me thinking back to how I/we struggled without the permit. So to answer your question, yes take it and if you feel the need you can always donate to a local cancer charity.