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Legal, pensions and money

Skipping a generation

(56 Posts)
Suzieque66 Thu 14-Dec-23 09:58:36

I am thinking of leaving money in my will directly to my Grandson and skipping my son ... is this difficult to do ? Has anyone any experience of this please ? Thank you ..

sodapop Thu 14-Dec-23 17:12:53

I agree with GSM and others, do consider what upset you may leave behind in doing this Suzieque66 your actions may not have the intended results.

Visgir1 Thu 14-Dec-23 17:17:53

My parents made a will leaving everything between myself and sister but added to the will, it was stipulated that our share to be devided between myself and my children.
So regardless of how many children we each have they get a pro rata of our half.

maddyone Thu 14-Dec-23 17:46:52

What a sad situation. You will need to leave your assets to your grandchild and any other children your son may have in the future I think. That can be put into a will. I understand why you would want to do this, but I do think you should think carefully about it. Perhaps you could leave equal shares to your son and any children he may have in order to avoid bad feeling.

Suzieque66 Thu 14-Dec-23 18:14:16

Well my Grandson will be an adult when he receives the inheritance and why will he feel guilty ? .. He already hears and sees an awful toxic relationship and this has gone on for years ...

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 14-Dec-23 18:29:15

In the meantime he will know about the inheritance and his parents may well make a big deal of it. The money they would have if it wasn’t for him etc. if the relationship is so toxic why hasn’t your son left? Or is it just toxic to you, on the outside? You really do need to think very carefully about the consequences for your son and grandson of what you plan to do. You may secretly enjoy the revenge on your daughter in law (at your son’s expense) whilst you’re alive, but you really are sowing the seeds of a horrible situation. Discuss it with an experienced solicitor and be guided by them.

FindingNemo15 Thu 14-Dec-23 18:34:41

I have done exactly that. Bypassed our DD and left everything in trust to the three GC until they are 25 .

Norah Thu 14-Dec-23 20:41:43

Germanshepherdsmum

I think this will cause terrible animosity, with the child in the middle of it. Hatred is not a good legacy to leave.

Why in the world would anyone want their last words, after the will reading (from the grave), 'you meant nothing to me - I hate you'?

Cutting one's children out of one's estate is a terrible legacy.

Floradora9 Thu 14-Dec-23 21:34:04

As already said if you live in Scotland your son can still claim against your estate. Not the house but all money etc..

biglouis Thu 14-Dec-23 21:42:53

I have a will leaving everything to my nephew. No mention is made of my sibling or her children. But then I have no children of my own so its far less complicated. I just picked the family member I am closest to. Im sure my sister is not expecting anything as I have made my wishes quite clear.

winifred01 Sun 17-Dec-23 11:44:17

We did this- discussed it with our children and they agreed. GC ×3 are married buying their own homes so like so many young people finding it difficult. Organised with the help of a solicitor.

callum12 Sun 17-Dec-23 11:47:39

I have done this and stipulated they can’t have it till 25 was done quickly and simply

sazz1 Sun 17-Dec-23 11:58:11

Yes I have experience of it. My GM left everything to me in her will, house jewellery money. This was in the 70s and I was over 21 at the time. There was a very good reason why but that wasn't mentioned in the will. Father didn't contest it and it went through smoothly.

Nannyof4mummyof2 Sun 17-Dec-23 11:58:25

This is a little odd who will be executor of your will and who will sort out your affairs and organise your funeral if it is your son i dont think that is fair tbh but if its not then the person doing all the work desetves something and then leave the rest to your grandson

Jules1960 Sun 17-Dec-23 12:14:49

Why not leave a little bit to your son and the majority of it to your grandson.

Nannan2 Sun 17-Dec-23 12:51:32

Yes definetly take a solicitors advice.

Nicolenet Sun 17-Dec-23 13:26:38

Who would inherit if grandson dies? What if your son gets divorced and remarried with more children? You are not looking further than end of your nose!

Annie29 Sun 17-Dec-23 13:31:18

My Grandparents skipped generation with my parents blessing. I will possibly do the same. I think the next generation are going to need all the help they can get student loans pension age going up etc. Its up to you entirely what you put in your will

Witzend Sun 17-Dec-23 13:39:57

Might not be applicable for you, but we’ve put money into S&S junior ISAs for the Gdcs, only accessible after they’re 18.

dragonfly46 Sun 17-Dec-23 13:40:37

My parents left their money to our children quite simply because we don’t need it. There were no problems when they died as the wills were quite clear.

queenofsaanich69 Sun 17-Dec-23 16:50:03

My Grandfather left my brother all his money,skipping his 3 sons,my brother had the money spent with in a month.

4allweknow Sun 17-Dec-23 17:08:48

You could leave money to GS and as not an adult someone other than parents as a Trustee. I can't see any reason why money can't be left directly but issue may be your GS being allowed to access account as a lot of banks have age limits eg 16. Whilst in England and Wales you can exclude your offspring, in Scotland they always have a claim ie 1/3 of your removable estate between them. If your removable estate is worth 30K, 1/3 - 10K goes to offspring. If more than 1 then it's to be shared equally.

Summerfly Sun 17-Dec-23 17:47:57

You don’t say what your relationship with your son is like, just the dil. I would think very hard about the hurt it could cause to your son. At the end of the day, you’ll be gone, so why make waves for everyone. Revenge isn’t a good look in my opinion.

Cossy Sun 17-Dec-23 18:20:40

If you’re serious about this, I’d think about a few things first, think about your son and how he’ll feel, maybe speak to him privately BEFORE you change your will (assuming you already have one), is this just your money (I know it’s yours now, but did this come to you via a husband?), how would your husband have felt about this?

Finally, if you’re truly serious, and I think it’s an awful idea btw, consult a solicitor.
Please, please think very carefully about how this might affect the relationship between your grandson and his parents.

You do not mention where you live? If you’re in England you can literally leave your money to whomever you like, might not be quite so easy in other countries.

Have thought about leaving it split between your son and grandson?

Dinahmo Sun 17-Dec-23 18:23:41

People often skip a generation if they have sufficient wealth. Even if you change your mind and leave your wealth to your son, he, or your family can do a deed of arrangement which passes some wealth to the next generation.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 17-Dec-23 18:33:12

That’s right in principle Dinahmo, but the consent of all beneficiaries would be needed for a variation of the will - and the grandchild is a minor, incapable of giving consent. This isn’t a case of financial planning, it’s a case of seeking to prevent a child’s spouse from benefiting from the child’s inheritance.