Power of attorney for a friend

Tread carefully she may have thought about this or has run in headlong. Why not ask her about this? Pointing out that you would be happy to do this but give her a later date cooling off period? Then review at a later date.

I would simply say that this is a big responsibility and you may be quite frail and elderly when the PoA needs to be used, so it is better to appoint a younger person.

I hope she is using a solicitor to write the new will because if she is leaving money to young children it will have to be held in trust for them until they reach 18. You might also gently point out that it isn’t necessarily a good idea for young people to inherit money.

Was this a POA for Finance or Health? Or both?

As to the Will if she wants to leave her house to the Grandchildren then she can, presumably her daughter will have to manage it for them until they reach 18 yrs old anyway, I don’t think she will ask you to manage it on their behalf but it might be wise to check.

I would very gently say a definite “no”. Explain that you feel it is too much of a responsibility for you, but you will help and support her while she decides what is best to do.

You could tell her it is not pragmatic to have POA from the same generation. There is no guarantee that you will outlive her!

Good advice from GSM.
I wouldn’t do this for a friend in the circumstances you describe. You could be left dealing with complex legal emotional and practical issues.

A friend took on being second PoA for her 97 year old aunt who is very poorly in a care home. The other PoA was her very much younger and sprightly uncle. Sadly the uncle died suddenly and my friend is now having to deal with paying the care home, dealing with the banks (dire) and selling the house they shared. It’s a huge amount of work and responsibility.

Being a PoA is not something to be undertaken lightly. Things can be straightforward, but not always, as my friend has found out.

I would think of the worst case scenarios before making any decision. All the ‘what ifs’. Good luck and hope you can find a kind way to say no if that is your decision.

It is indeed a big responsibility, can involve a great deal of work, and a relative in the background who has been passed over would make things even more difficult, challenging decisions at every turn. Decisions over healthcare can be particularly hard to deal with.

I agree fully with GSM. I'd say that I feel too old to take on this role, and thus that I wouldn't feel comfortable doing this. Hopefully that will stop them from asking you.

I have it for my mum and even then its shared with my DD .....wouldn't do it for anyone else

a relative, not the closest, asked me to be named as their POA, before having an operation.
i really didn't want to, but someone else said they will worry about having the operation if i don;t agree.
so i reluctantly did.
meaning to sort it out later, never have.
it seems too difficult to mention.
there is another POA, much more sensible and organised than i am, but she lives outside UK.
and i don't even know the other POA's address. !

There is no easy way, but you could say: "No, I really can't help. I'm no good with legal paperwork". Leave her to sort out her own family spats. It is a huge responsibility, and you will not be thanked.

Germanshepherdsmum

I would simply say that this is a big responsibility and you may be quite frail and elderly when the PoA needs to be used, so it is better to appoint a younger person.

I hope she is using a solicitor to write the new will because if she is leaving money to young children it will have to be held in trust for them until they reach 18. You might also gently point out that it isn’t necessarily a good idea for young people to inherit money.

Great advice! I second this.

Yes, I agree.

Saying you might be frail or ill yourself is both true and the best way to say, "no".

The worst problem of naming grandchildren is that more may come along and be treated unfairly, needs careful thought. My advice is don't do it, POAs for both health and money are onerous and you may well be too frail to carry out her wishes. Difficult situation.

Please say NO ! My husband was flattered to be asked to be power of attorney for an elderly relative. Little did he know that some distant cousins who were left money in the will had accused my husband of pressuring the relative so that our children were left an inheritance. My husband regularly visited the relative even though she lived many hundreds of miles away, on a monthly basis the cousins never visited in the 7 years my husband cared for her even though they lived a ten minute drive away. They are now accusing him of fraud, mismanagement and stealing her money. We ,as a consequence, are severely out of pocket

Politely tell your friend you would prefer if she asked her sollicitor to be the power of attorney, as you don’t feel capable of having such a big responsibility and you might lose your faculties before her!

I would say no. A friend of mine gave Power of Attorney to her family when she became ill and the work involved organising her money and getting in help from social services has been hard work and time consuming and that is her own family organising it. I would not recommend it.

Solicitors are unlikely to agree to that Babamaman.

When in doubt do nothing.

I have a similar situation with an acquaintance rather than friend who has put me down as executor. I reluctantly agreed and said I would hand over to a solicitor but I know well the amount of work that would still be involved. She has a difficult family situation/estrangements etc and contact with few other people being housebound. I must check out the POA situation as this lady has many health issues.

Thank you all for the good advice
Always good to have a sounding board

Germanshepherdsmum

Solicitors are unlikely to agree to that Babamaman.

That’s very interesting Gsm. Is there a particular reason for that - apart from it being very time-consuming?

Responsibility and challenges from family or friends who disagree.