Power of attorney for a friend

Yes, I think I would also say that I felt I was too old to take on a POA.
I found out recently that my daughter was planning to write a will saying that she wanted me to look after her children if anything happened to her. I'm 72 and the children are 5 and 9. With the best will in the world I find it exhausting enough to look after them for a couple of days, and I would be responsible for them for at least another 13 year. I'm trying to think up a tactful way to bring the subject up and say that I'm just too old.

My widowed friend has fallen out with her daughter and has asked me to act as her attorney should the need arise.

This would be a big undertaking and her daughter would be upset and angry.

Red flags waving right there!

Do you really want to be drawn into this family drama? Not only could it turn out to be a huge undertaking, but it could generate bad feeling which might take an emotional toll on you.

If, as you appear to believe, it might all pass over - the exercise will have been for nothing and might well be detrimental to your physical and mental wellbeing.

In situations like this, I believe the best policy is to be as honest as possible. If you really do not want to do it - and it is quite a big thing she's asking - say that you don't feel up to it. No-one can argue against that when they are asking you to take on a, possibly, huge commitment.

Sound advice from Germanshepherdsmum - as usual.

I too would make my age or health the excuse for refusing this responsibility - this can be done quite nicely, but once said you must stick to your guns.

If she asks your advice about her new will, refer her to a solicitor and do not consent to being named as her executor!

If she intends simply to write the will herself, I would point out that a guardian needs to be appointed to manage the property for the children until such time as it can legally be sold. This presumably would not be until all the children have reached their majority - so unless there are funds to maintain the property in the intervening years, she really will be doing her grandchildren an enormous ill-turn.

I’m in the same position as you cc, except DGS is only just 3.
I’m the only living relative suitable, so I just hope and pray that nothing (more!) happens to DD2 and S-in-L in the next 15 years.