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Legal, pensions and money

What would you do?

(28 Posts)
Daddima Mon 29-Dec-25 16:41:24

I have seven grandchildren, aged between 8 and 22, distributed unequally among my children. I want to give away some money now, rather than wait until I die. At present, when I die, the money ( it’s not a large amount) will go to my children, so I was thinking of just doing the same now, but my friend said she didn’t think that was fair, as one son and his wife have no children ( their choice)
What do you think?

Iam64 Mon 29-Dec-25 16:52:37

Inheritance can be challenging. I usually feel it’s better to leave any inheritance to the next generation, that is our adult children. It’s your choice though and one I don’t believe you should be criticised for.

If you want to give your grandchildren a gift now I don’t see that isn’t fair on the childless couple.

Cabbie21 Mon 29-Dec-25 16:58:37

I think it is nobody’s business but your own, but food for thought from your friend.
How is it unfair if you are treating your children equally?
It could equally be said to be unfair if you gave more to those of your children who have offspring.

You don’t say how many children you have, which may be relevant, nor what sort of amount we are talking about.

Another way of looking at it is to treat each of your relatives as individuals, dividing the total between them ie 7+? Though it will need to be put away for the under 18s.

Are the older ones sensible or would they just blow it?

Do you have a specific reason to want to give money away just now? Be aware of rules around Deprivation of Capital.

Astitchintime Mon 29-Dec-25 17:07:39

Based 9n the assumption that your AC will all inherit equally when you die I think it would be acceptable for you to gift money to your DGC as and when you wish to. Just be mindful about the tax implications so best to speak to your financial advisor first.

BlueBelle Mon 29-Dec-25 17:12:09

I have left all my children equal amounts in my will and have named my seven grandchildren as getting a small equal amount each, that way no one is left out
I think if you want to give the grandchildren a small amount now that’s fine but personally I would give the childless couple a similar amount to make it fair
So if you want to give each grandchild £1000 now give your childless couple £1000 as well that way no one can feel it’s unjust or feel left out

crazyH Mon 29-Dec-25 17:23:51

I have left my house and savings to be divided equally by my 3 children.
I have 6 grandchildren. Atm, they haven’t been left any money. But, am thinking of doing a Codicil, in which I will be giving each of them , pieces of my jewellery. Same, for my ds.i.l. Most of my jewellery will go to my daughter. My ds.i.l. will inherit their own mother’s jewellery. My daughter has no one really, except me. She is divorced.
That’s my thinking ,

Daddima Mon 29-Dec-25 19:04:23

Now, it’s not a lot of money we’re talking about here, but it’s just the premise of giving money to your family. I’m wondering now if I should be giving a bit to those older ones who might enjoy it more.

Georgesgran Mon 29-Dec-25 19:12:21

It’s a lovely gesture if you want to and can afford it, but do remember the tax rules on gifts - see a couple of earlier posts.

Bobbysgirl19 Mon 29-Dec-25 21:30:29

Don’t forget you have your annual inheritance tax exemption of £3000 per annum, which you could divide between them.
Additionally if you didn’t use last years exemption you can carry it forward from last year, making it £6,000.

Graceless Mon 29-Dec-25 21:45:59

I have two adult grandchildren. When I downsized I gave each of them a substantial amount. I felt it was better for them to have it when they could make good use of it than be waiting for me to die! They are the children of my eldest child. My other children are childless and neither thought it "unfair ".

Romola Tue 30-Dec-25 14:38:47

Would you want your childless adult child to think you loved her/him less because she/he had no children?

jocork Tue 30-Dec-25 14:58:24

I hope to downsize and release money from my house as, being close to London, my estate would otherwise be subject to inheritance tax. Once I've done that I will be giving money to both my children, one of whom has children and the other is still single. My DD adores her neice and nephew and I save money for them too but I don't imagine she resents that in any way. She is very generous to them herself. If she ever has children I will match what has been given already to my existing grandchildren. My estate will be divided equally between my adult children so anything the grandchildren receive will be small in comparisson.

Musicgirl Tue 30-Dec-25 15:59:54

I thìnk l would speak to your adult children first and tell them what you have been thinking. I completely understand why you wish to give your grandchildren money while they are young as it will probably much more helpful to them while they are starting out in life. I would stress that you have left everything in your will equally between each of your own children but you would like to give your grandchildren a helping hand now. I would agree a sum for each grandchild to be accessible on their eighteenth birthday and held in trust for the younger ones until they reach this age.

Colls Tue 30-Dec-25 16:19:55

Do what you want, it's your money.
Bad enough the government interferes! angry

I understand. But I wish people would feel able to just do what they want with their money without worrying about how their children will cope with their decision. No one has a right to inherit. So many families are damaged by what one person sees as unfair. E.g. Some children of a marriage might be better off than others.
I would say leave it / give it away where it does the most good, creates the most happiness and gives you the most pleasure.

Riversidegirl Tue 30-Dec-25 16:21:10

You can give away regular amounts as long as it comes out of income and not savings. You can also give a certain amount each year from your total savings. But check these details before you do anything, never take advice from such as me! I give my grandchildren who are all at university a monthly amount, and also give an annual amount to parents. All within tax guidelines.

MaggsMcG Tue 30-Dec-25 16:39:11

You can give as much as you want to as long as you live another 7 years. Although there are rumours that is going to be changed to longer by the tax grabbing Liebour party.
I agree with the other poster that if yiu give money to the grandchildren in would only be fair to give a similar amount to the childless couple. Although I know some of my family would even quibble about the fact that they have different number of children. Even though all of my grandchildren are now adults.

sharon103 Tue 30-Dec-25 16:47:59

I don't know the ins and outs but isn't there something about not being able to gift money. A person can be accused of giving it away so they don't have to pay for care/care home fees?
Does anyone here know the rules?

Judy54 Tue 30-Dec-25 17:12:21

My In Laws left money to us (we have no children) as well as to their grandchildren which was a lovely gesture. My Parents left money to their Adult Children and not to Grandchildren. It is about doing what you feel comfortable with and not worrying about what others think.

loopyloo Tue 30-Dec-25 17:24:13

Do read up about inheritance tax. And if you are likely to become liable give away your yearly allowance.
With house prices still being high its easy to reach the amount when it becomes due.

4allweknow Tue 30-Dec-25 17:33:06

Magsmcg Yes the 7 year rule does exist for giving cash, and as you say, is being considered to be changed but there is no time limit on giving assets away when it comes to care costs. It's not the when, but the why, that comes into play. Doesn't matter what we do, we are targets for anything to do with money.

Doodledog Tue 30-Dec-25 17:40:24

If I understand the OP correctly, Daddima is looking at splitting the money between/amongst her children to pass on to the grandchildren, as she will do in her will? So (for round figures) if there are 2 children, 7 grandchildren and £7000, each adult child would get £3500, and if one has five children and the other two, the grandchildren would get either £1750 or £700 depending on whether they are in the larger or smaller family.

If that is the case, I would consider that way of doing it to be less fair than simply giving them £1000 each. They are equal in their status as your grandchildren, and in your shoes I would make them equal when it comes to gifts. When it comes to your will, I think it's fine to spilt your assets between your own children, and what they choose to do with it when their time comes is up to them. Yes, that will mean those in the larger family will each inherit less indirectly from you (assuming there is anything left when their own parents pass it on) but anything could happen between now and then, and IMO that is their parents' responsibility, not yours.

Tenko Tue 30-Dec-25 17:51:34

My mother has left everything equally to myself and my 2 siblings . However she regularly gifts money to the 5 dgc . With the two younger ones the money goes to my brother who has set up savings accounts for them . The older ones get it directly. My mother spoke to us about her plans .
Regarding the child free off spring , I’d definitely discuss it with all your children .

knspol Tue 30-Dec-25 18:36:13

Obviously absolutely your decision but imo for what it's worth is that ot's best in lots of ways to give equal amounts to all of your children and leave it to them if they decide to distribute this amongst any children they may or may not have, Your own children, imo, are your 'responsibility' not their offspring.

Shel1951 Tue 30-Dec-25 21:39:42

I wondered this recently and decided to leave it equally between our children, we don't want them to fall out after we've gone over who got what, it has the potential to split families when one feels they didn't get treated the same, my children then can give to their children , I too have grandchildren from 3 of my children and none from the other 3.

Doodledog Tue 30-Dec-25 22:10:37

Another alternative is to add one to the number of children, and split the estate into that number of pieces. So if you have three children split it four ways, with the fourth piece shared amongst the grandchildren. That way, they all get equal amounts from you, as do your children, who can leave their share in their turn, or spend it during their lives.