Girls should forget university and have babies instead !

My experience is that you can advise till you are blue in the face, and they still do their own thing, and/or "life intrudes" - my daughter for instance would have liked to have had a baby 6 years ago, but it didn't happen for her partner-wise. She now sometimes says that she wishes she had fallen pregnant in her 20s with her then partner.

The fact that Kirsty Allsop has no daughters says it all. Our daughter was adamant that she be educated the same as her brothers. Not that we hadn't intended to do that.

I haven't read the article but I'm assuming she's warning of the time clock that women have and how easy it is these days to assume you can easily have a child when you get older [it isn't] and the heartbreak it can cause when things go wrong. Although the 'get on the property ladder' sounds like a quote from someone with money that has always had money and doesn't realise how difficult it is for young people these days with so many 30 year olds still living at home. [honestly; writing all this I'd've had time to read the full article which I shall do now ].

I can see that this would appeal to some, but why her daughters would have a struggle with getting on the property ladder, I cannot imagine. They'll probably have a property portfolio to fall back on with a parent like her.

I like Kirsty Allsopp, but she does come out with a few howlers every now and again. I don't see her as a feminist in my understanding of the word, although she seems to be an independent woman who will tackle many things and not depend on a man to help her, and in business I could see her at the top of the ladder.

I wouldn't push mine in the direction she suggests - I encouraged them to spread their wings and see the world, not think about houses, babies or university but find out what they wanted to do with their lives. One had a gap year and visited Australia and the other moved out to live with her friend for a few months, then returned home. Within a few short years, they'd done their degrees, met partners, bought houses and had children in their late twenties.

Didn't read all the article, so I wonder if she understands that children, teenage girls usually have their own ideas about what plans they might have.

I think perhaps girls going to uni before settling down means they have had chance to develop a bit of maturity. Surely, having, and raising, a family is n't only about fertility.

I think that article has been tailor-made for the Daily Mail.

You mean you think she'll do another one for the Guardian next week, condemning girls who have babies before they've had experience of university/life/travel etc?

How does she think they will get on the property ladder if they go straight into baby-raising without earning any money or gaining some qualifications towards earning some? Marry a rich older man who already has the dosh?

No, Elegran, bank of mum and dad. Haven't read the article and do not intend to. The headline is nauseating enough. There's a big gap between when you leave university and the age when fertility falls.

Ana!

I just meant the article was a bit rubbishy.

I don't really read the Guardian. Although I'm sure it's fine.

Daughters (and sons) have a tendency to do what they want - or hasn't she learned that yet?

My mother told me that my role in life was to marry, raise children and run a home - and I believed her

I gave my daughter the opposite advice and suggested she went to college or university and get some good qualifications that will stand her in good stead her whole life; she chose to marry and raise children instead.

I knew what you meant, jingl

That's all I ever wanted to do Hollydaze. It's worked fine for me tbh.

Horses for courses I guess.

It was really quite a shock when DD 1 said she would be going to uni. I even cried a bit.

I have no daughters, and I had no brothers, but my parents had exactly the same expectations of us as they would have had of sons. University, a satisfying job and marriage at 29, leading to child rearing at an age when I could be expected to have greater maturity . Ok - it all led to divorce at 45, but I'm far from unique in that!

It is jinglbellsfrocks, my daughter is also very happy. That was the point I was trying to make: children will end up making their own decisions (hopefully).

Well, I can see both sides. It is however quite possible to go to Uni and still have children when young- if you go to Uni at 18/19, then you are still only in your early 20s when you finish- and can still get a few years experience before starting a family still in your 20s.

I disagree with her too- but I find it sad that so many young people, parents not just women, wait till their late 30s to start a family- as if it was the last priority. Physically and mentally, it is much safer and easier to have children in 20s rather than late 30s and 40s- and then go back to the professional ladder then. Horses for courses- indeed. I am glad I had children early (22 and 25)- especially now as a granny, as it means I am still young enough to enjoy our grand-children. Children born to older women, especially second generation on- will probably never have the joy of their grand-parents.

I can remember one of my mothers neighbours coming round for coffee when I was home during the university vacation and saying that her daughter had considered going to university but decided that she would rather get married and have children. It was all my mother and I could do to stifle our giggles until she left. I graduated, married at 24 and had my first child at 28.

I do not think many women choose not to have children until they are in their late 30s. But people pair up later and often decisions to have children are governed by economic uncertainty. DS is a university lecturer. Young academics are nearly all working on short term contracts. He and his wife wanted to wait until he had the security of a permanent post before they had children. As a result they were 36 and 38 when their first child was born

In no way would I wish to agree with KA, but we married at the end of my first year at university, I had my first child just after my finals and the second two years after that. When our daughter was two, I started work and didn't stop until I retired thirty years later. It worked for us, but I don't really see how it is relevant to anyone else....

I wonder what the response would be if someone had given the advice to young men....

MiceElf

I was enjoying myself far too much in my 20s to want to tie myself to a husband and family, but by the time I was 30, I was quite ready and loved being a mum. Many friends have done it the other way round and there's nothing wrong with that either.

That is definitely the best way of looking at such twaddle, mice.

MiceElf

Absolutely