Girls should forget university and have babies instead !

d4dsquared I had exactly the same experience when I had my first child at the same age. We lived in a new town and most of the pregnant women at our surgery were barely in their 20s and often younger. I was in doubt whether I was going to be booked into obstetrics or geriatrics when I visited the hospital.

petallus Kirsty Allsop was specifically talking about women who are going or intend to go to university. She is suggesting that these women should delay university until after children.

Personally, having gone to university and then had children in my 20s and then gone to university for a further degree in my late 30s when I was juggling my part time studies with children and a part time job. I can assure her that getting a degree first is so much easier, even if it means you then marry and have children and delay starting your career until your 30s. As I said in my previous post I returned to my fulltime career at 40 and made good progress in it.

I do think that leaving reproduction till a later age has thrown up lots of difficulties and indeed heartache for many people - I do not object to her pointing that out; that seems entirely reasonable. How people choose to deal with that is down to them - like some others on here, I did my degree and professional qualification, worked for a while and then started my family at age 26. I returned part-time 5 years later and dodged in and out of part-time work when a third child came along. It worked for me, but that was in an era when it was easy to get a job. Women now face so much competition for jobs that they have to get well and truly stuck into their careers before they dare take maternity leave. I feel for them - their choices are so hard. I would not presume to advise them, but Kirsty's stance is one solution to go into the melting pot, and entirely reasonable for some.

Having children young and getting an education later is certainly an option, and I know people who have done this very happily - I think that mature students often appreciate their university experience more and get more out of it.

I heard her by chance on the radio today and she was objecting to the amount of money people spend on their weddings and suggesting that it might be better to be a bit abstemious in that regard and have some money left for a deposit on a house - sounds reasonable to me.

Well I totally agree with her on that one. The intense competition for the 'wedding and honeymoon' of the year is just madness- with young couples being saddled with debts for a very long time to come for just one day (unless parents plunder their pension fund, often under pressure from youngsters, to provide). I am so glad it is not the case here- perhaps blame the crazy Wedding magazines and fairs, Hello magazines and the like.

The weddings I have enjoyed most are those that are informal, low key and low cost (including my own). My limited experience also suggests that the ensuing marriage has a much higher success rate as well.

And the whole stag/hen night has got totally out of hand. My SIL has just felt obliged to spend money he cannot afford (and that could have paid for a family holiday, as my DD pointed out) on his brother's stag do abroad for several days. Ridiculous in my view!

The more money spent on a wedding, the more of an ordeal it is for the guests. They are like Hollywood productions and very often run late because the photographer is a prima-donna. We went to one where the evening 'do' didn't start until 9pm. We were staying in a nearby Premier Inn so made our excuses and spent the rest of the night with our feet up, bottle of watching the telly......

I went to a wedding once where the wedding was at 12.00pm but the photographs went on for so long we didn't sit down to the meal until nearly 5.00pm. The 12.00 start meant nobody got any lunch and many like us had had an early breakfast because we had a long drive to the event. It was a baking hot and bright sunny day and we were all kept standing outside because there was to be a processional entrance to the room the meal was being held in. By the time we sat down to eat I had a blinding migraine. which completely spoilt the rest of the event for the whole family as we had to leave early because I felt so ill. The marriage didn't last either.

I just love the notion that they are going to be able to save up and buy a flat on a non-graduate salary. And have a baby before they are 30. Despite her background in the property industry she is obviously completely out of touch with the mismatch between being on a salary of probably less than 20 and ever saving up a deposit or getting a mortgage. Unless they live in an extremely cheap part of the country and oh dear, dammit, those are the places with no flipping jobs aren't they.

Well, look on the positive side - she's got GNetters talking!
Each to their own I say

I was set to go to university at 18 - in fact I went, then had to leave because I was pregnant (this was 1965 - I was told I could come back "afterwards") so we got married, as you did, and had DD. then the two DSs. So by the time I was 25 my family was complete. (And I was sterilised!)

I most certainly wouldn't recommend it, looking back at how poor we were, and how difficult it was, but we got through.

My point is, that as far as university and a career were concerned, I went back when the children were at school or nursery, got a couple of good degrees and eventually progressed up the career ladder quite quickly because I'd had the children early. And it gave me, as it did for, I think grandjura over 35 years teaching. (The fact that the army moved us every two years just added to the fun....)

I still don't know the answer - we missed out on a lot of fun, I suppose, though we are making up for it now. If I'd had a choice? Oh dear...

I think I would do the same again. But I would have liked to work part-time when the kids where a bit older- as said, it was impossible due to OH's very long hours, me having to be a free glorified receptionist night and day.

Average price of UK wedding:

Average wedding now costs more than £18,000
Many newlyweds are now starting married life in debt as the cost of the average wedding has soared to £18,244, according to a new study.

kripes - saddled with debts before even started life together- madness.