Maizie Mostly the hard right of the party.
I enlisted during my first year at university (despite being a full member of the SNP the entire time; no one ever asked and I never told) due to completely losing my sixteen year old heart to the then-president. Since I was following him about like a puppy anyway, he gave me useful things to do and I was convinced this would result in True Love. Shortly afterwards, he ended up on the sex offenders register and fled the country for a while. But by then I was somehow on the committee and apparently Responsible For Things.
Being capable of difficult tasks such as booking restaurants and remembering to apply for the appropriate funding, I was considered indispensable to the organisation. Occasionally I would be thrown out for various offences of “left wing activity” which included being elected to student council LGBT convenor, refusing to fundraise for Nick Griffin, failing to sleep with an odious ‘special guest’ and telling him to keep his hands to himself or draw back a stump, and having a girlfriend who was president of the Socialist Worker group.
After a while, some disaster would occur and I would be contacted by sad looking group members to take over the actual running of events again. Leading examples of this type of disaster included the committee turning up at party conference to discover that no one had bothered to either register them for conference or indeed book any accommodation, and attempting to take Michael Portillo to a theme park to discuss his then-possible leadership bid.
I spent a fair amount of my time apologising for the conduct of my alleged friends and acquaintances. Occasionally I managed to get particularly odious individuals thrown out (see the Nick Griffin incident). Often I acted as the election agent for whoever was pressed into being the Tory cannon fodder in nearby elections. (I was caught out being an election agent for a number of Liberal Democrats with whom I was very friendly and thrown out again for that)
Finally I was thrown out after stating that a particular high profile individual was an arse and no, I absolutely would not attempt to contact his ‘people’ in any capacity. When pressed to return, I pointed out I was now a proper grown up and it was time for someone else to learn how to book train tickets and write thank you letters.
My replacement is coming up for her own decade of purgatory. Sadly she is showing no sign of finishing up her post grad so is probably still stuck with them for a bit.
