The priest at Lyras funeral

Speaking to a group of politicians who sit together at a funeral but refuse to sit together to run the country is less important than saying ‘the deceased was in a gay relationship ‘.

At my husbands funeral there was no mention of the fact we were a heterosexual couple, or he was a heterosexual man.

So, notanan, did you want the priest to say something like, "it's a shame there can no longer be any sex in this relationship*? What kind of funerals have you been to?

Just how did you want the sexuality to be referred to? In what words exactly? Most priests and vicars wrap it up in "love".

Of course it would be totally wrong for the priest to say, "the deceased was in a gay relationship, and we don't like that". Did that happen?

Gonegirl They need a government. Stormont has been empty quite long enough.
Then perhaps Arlene Foster should do as the majority wished and step down.

Just how did you want the sexuality to be referred to? In what words exactly?

"Gay" isnt a rude "private" word.

If being gay was a part of someones life I would expect it mentioned in any memorial of their life the same way you would mention if someone was a devoted teacher, or a keen sports person.

Being Gay is not a career

At my husbands funeral there was no mention of the fact we were a heterosexual couple, or he was a heterosexual man

Your relationship wasnt mentioned at all? Really?

And being straight is very different to being gay. It shouldnt be but it is. Especially in places likd NI.

Being Gay is not a career
Why have a memorial/funeral at all if not to remember what mattered to that person, whatever those things may be?

Of course "gay" isn't a rude word. Neither is "sex". They're just not often mentioned at funerals. ^Because it's not necessary".

trisher no way am I getting into details of NI politics with you. Got enough to deal with with notanan.

Not our sex life, sorry but that was a daft question.

Read her letter to her younger self then come back and tell me that being gay was only a part of her life in the privacy of her bedroom

You really think that at every funeral a priest should say "the deceased was gay/heterosexual/swung both ways"?

Odd.

I've read the letter. It has nothing to do with what the priest at the funeral said.

I think you remember the person as they were or not at all. Sexuality isnt a major influence on everyones life especially if you conform to the default, but it mattered to her.

I've read the letter. It has nothing to do with what the priest at the funeral said. and everything to do with what he actively avoided saying.

Yes, of course it mattered to her. It's just that priests aren't usually expected to refer to sex at a funeral.

It wouldn't have crossed his mind to say anything about her sexuality. Neither would it have done at the last funeral he conducted. Or the next. Ad infinitum...

Oh FGS its not about "sex"

She wasnt just gay when she was engaging in sex acts.

Refering to someones sexuality doesnt = talking about their sex life!

The experience of being a gay woman doesnt begin and end when your pants are off

Some gay women

If being gay was a part of someones life I would expect it mentioned in any memorial of their life the same way you would mention if someone was a devoted teacher, or a keen sports person.

I would not expect sexuality to be mentioned - but I would expect someone's OH to be mentioned as just that if they have one - a husband, wife, partner, and how much they must be grieving.

Some gay women dont have sex at all. Or have only have sex with men. Dont reduce the experience of living as a gay person to sex!

I thought this was all about the unlawful killing/murder of the woman----not her sexuality afaik according to the priest ?

the same way you would mention if someone was a devoted teacher, or a keen sports person.
no, I would put devoted teacher or keen sports person in the same category as courageous journalist.

A person should be remembered for who they were.

She was a gay woman in a part of Britain where it is hard to be a gay woman. And she was a journslist. And a friend etc...

Leaving out one important aspect of someones life speaks volumes about the priests view on that aspect.

Silence sometimes roars.