I'm glad Sally Challen is out.

To take a hammer could surely only be with intent to harm ,
so the reconciliation claim doesn’t ring true unless she went hoping for reconciliation and if not ?

I have no idea what emotional abuse can do to the mind . Seems she still loved him and wanted to be with him again, but realised he wasn’t going to change. Everyone has a breaking point.

Is the mind of the abuser unbalanced ? . To want to control
another human being?

sodapop, I don't read anyone here suggesting the killing was a heroic act. Heroism would have been to leave. These days she could report him to the police for coercive control, though victims of domestic abuse don't always receive the response needed.
Anniebach, many people who subject their partner to domestic abuse in any of its forms have one thing in common. They lack empathy, the have a need to control, they manipulate, exploit and alternately humiliate or charm their victim. That may constitute a personality disorder and leads to the usual discussion about personality problems and mental health problems. My view is that m.h. problems include anxiety, depression, psychopathy, schizophrenia for example. I'm on the fence about personality disorders which don't respond to medication in the way m.h. problems are likely to do. People can change their personality types - if they recognise they're damaging those they love, damaging their own life and truly want to. It isn't easy though.

I really am unsure Iam that people can change their personality, I doubt there will a time when ‘experts’ can really understand the human mind.

If psychiatrists can't understand the human mind, we certainly can't. I don't know why she took the hammer (for that reason). I suspect it was part and parcel of the state she was in. I do know that when she arrived she found he was still enjoying himself with yet another woman, and then she snapped.

Should have said my daughter has been with her new partner 13 years not 3, just read it back and realised

Why did she want to go back to him? She must have been besotted with him.

To be armed with a hammer, the same as carrying guns/knives is usually with the intention to harm/kill, otherwise you wouldn't do so.
What the courts have to decide is whether or not there was a genuine intention to kill/murder and it's very difficult decision to conclude with whether it was involuntary manslaughter ( unlawful killing without intent ) or the intention of killing.

I think Sally Challen's case has been handled correctly; her killing of her husband was pre-meditated and she served a sentence for that; equally I believe she was suffering some form of mental disorder at the time and for some time previously due constant emotional abuse from her husband; and finally, I believe she regards herself as guilty and will continue to do so for the rest of her life.
A very tragic case.

I think he controlled what money she had, and he controlled her contact with the outside world.

She had bought her own house when she left him , how could he control her contact with the outside world

It is a difficult case and Sally certainly suffered terribly at the hands of her husband.

Like some other posters I am torn in this case. Taking a hammer was premeditated, therefore the whole case comes down to the mental abuse. None of us are the same so no one can ever know how badly someone is affected!!

Anniebach makes an interesting point *“Is the mind of the abuser unbalanced ? . To want to control
another human being.”*
I hadn’t thought of that. Was her husband therefore mentally ill??? Certainly puts another side to things. Maybe he couldn’t help the way he was and he needed help??

I do agree with Ellanvannin too, to a point, about this setting a precedent!

As GrannyGravy13 says unless you have been in a situation like hers it is difficult to understand what made her “break”.

I just think it is a very sad case all round. I feel sorry for them all as there is no good outcome. They are all scarred for life.

It is very easy for those of us who have never been in that position to say "why didn't she just leave".

I used to live near to a women's shelter and got to know some of the women. I asked them why they didn't leave and they all said the same thing, they had nowhere to go, afraid their partner would find them again, no-one would believe them because to the outside world their partner was charming and good natured it was only at home he was abusive. I also asked what finally gave them the courage to leave - again the answer was invariably "he started on the kids"

I too am torn in this case.

She suffered so much and I don’t understand the dependency on someone who makes your life hell. I can understand women who stay in a relationship because they are terrified of being physically brutalised and fear their partner will hunt them down if they left.

There must be something wrong with the mind of a person who needs to control , to humiliate another

I would feel uncomfortable criticising her or the subsequent decisions of the court. As others have said, it’s a deeply sad case with no winners, she’s had over 9 years in prison and will never be free nor will her sons.

blondenana.
Agree
We can comment but only by walking in another's shoes are we in a position to judge.

The original conviction was murder because it was deemed to be pre-meditated due to her having taken a hammer with her. The second verdict was manslaughter due to the balance of her mind being disturbed. To me, this was the correct verdict, as Blondenana has bravely shared, it is very difficult to understand unless you have experience of this dreadful situation. A friend of my DD had such a relationship, we could all see what he was like, but she was under his control. It was not until she felt their child was in danger from him that she somehow found the strength to leave him and ask for help. The Police were extremely understanding and helpful and remain a support now. This lady has done her time with dignity and the family need support to put their lives back together, there must be terrible feelings of guilt on the part of her sons that they were unable to 'save' her from him.

I am so happy this lady is finally free the fact she was ever put behind bars says a lot about the justice system .Emotional abuse never goes away but the fact her two sons stood by her and fought to get her free will give her the courage and hope for the future.

Just a little aside -

I have read the remark “wish we had an edit button” so many times on lots of threads. You can edit! After typing your comment Preview message then make any alterations necessary and either preview again or if happy with it Post message.

Carry on........

Is it possible she took the hammer in case she had to defend herself? Anyhow I am glad she is out. She had 9 years in jail.Good wishes to her in the future.

She has served 9 years - time for her to be out without a doubt. Some would argue that she should not have served that time.

The fact that her sons clearly love her and have stood by her and supported her indicates that they were aware of what she had suffered.

Let us hope she can move on with her life now.

thank goodness coercive control is now a criminal offence. Delighted to hear Sally Challoner has been released.

During the course of my work I have met many women , and not a few men, who have been subjected to abuse my their significant other. The abuse often starts with very small things and with very small 'punishments ', making the victim seem small, telling them that they are unloveable , calling them names, belittling them in public, sometimes the perpetrator goes on to be physically violent, and all of the time the victim is made to feel that they are responsible for making the perpetrator behave badly. I could tell you so many stories of individuals who have suffered appallingly for years before they have screwed up the courage to leave. Sometimes the victim stays because the perpetrator has threatened to kill a beloved pet if the pet can't leave as well. Can you imagine what that must be like? A lot of the perpetrators can be absolutely charming to other people, so no-one believes that they are, behind closed doors, acting like the devil incarnate. I have met men who become violent when the woman is pregnant, it seems that they are even jealous of their own unborn baby. I've even met men who try to turn their children against the woman almost from birth.
There are no easy answers and no winners in this. I could go on much longer but ,truly, I think unless YOU have been in this situation it just can't be understood. I do think that the decision that it was manslaughter rather than murder was right.

And if anyone reading this is experiencing similar issues please get out now. Contact Women's Aid, call the police, tell someone.

It's perfectly possible for someone to control someone living in another house. Don't know what went on here, but texting, phoning, emailing with threats etc stalking, following someone, ringing or texting when someone is away or at an event, damaging property that he has access to . He visited prostitutes so put her at risk of STIs. I had all those things for definite and mine recruited people to keep an eye on me and report back to him what I was doing and even was I looking sad this making other people think badly of him. As I did file for divorce a further way he controlled me from afar was by refusing to cooperate with the divorce, draining my resources, abusing me in front of a mediator, replying to things last afternoon possible if he'd been given a deadline so I couldn't contact my solicitor whom he knew worked part time, he did this when I had to set court proceedings in process, so I was still thinking I'd have to do that. He did it with removing his possessions too, at one point coming round just before christmas, so instead of happy preparations I had worry that he would take up all my time as I had to supervise him to make sure he didn't take anything if mine
Unless you've experience of what it's like it's hard to believe
Did any of you see the news yesterday reporting on how domestic abuse leads very often to mental illness, it was true for this poor woman

Leaving a man like this probably isn't easy or even an option. Especially if he shows 'stalker' tendencies. That type of man often seems to possess an "if I can't have you then nobody can" frame of mind.

Terrifying.