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Stop complianing about lockdown. Thre are others a lot worse off

(102 Posts)
Dinahmo Sun 24-Jan-21 13:43:05

Flicking through the photos of the week on the Observer web site I came across a photo of two children in a displaced persons camp in Syria. Their shelter is made of blankets strung up with rocks piled along the ground, presumably to keep the blankets anchored. There has been heavy rain and the two are leaning out from their makeshift home to feel the rain and smiling. The ground is waterlogged.

We, or some of us, are whinging about lockdown. I know that many are suffering from confined spaces, no jobs and a shortage of money. I know that it's difficult. But for most of us, our current situation does not in anyway compare to the plight of these children and refugees the world over.

I'm not suggesting that any one of you gives money, or complains to the govt or signs petitions but just to think, next time you feel sorry for yourself, about the poor people the world over who are in a far worse situation that you have ever, or hopefully will ever, experience.

rosie1959 Sun 24-Jan-21 18:19:10

We draw on our own experiences and we have never faced anything like this
Children are out of full time education
Many business are struggling to survive the hospitality industry has been decimated and many will never open again loosing their lifelong business
All the pleasures for many have been taken away it’s just work and very little else
Many are struggling for money
The constant gloomy outlook is so depressing

bikergran Sun 24-Jan-21 20:18:36

I was told a some time ago, although yes, there are others much worse off than yourself.

Do not trivulize your own problems/health/family.

SueDonim Sun 24-Jan-21 21:19:10

I do so hate being lectured. It reminds me of being made to eat my school dinners because there were starving children in India. It didn’t make the cold, congealed lump of gristle that passed for meat on my plate any more appetising.

GillT57 Sun 24-Jan-21 22:27:17

I am fed up with lockdown, my mental health is precarious. I know millions are worse off than I am but making me feel guilty about finding lockdown difficult just adds more to the overload.

Luckygirl Sun 24-Jan-21 22:42:50

I am grateful for a warm safe home; for a steady income from pensions; for loving family.

I feel deeply for those worse off than me.

But none of this stops me feeling bloody lonely now that I am on my own.

Scribbles Sun 24-Jan-21 22:43:52

I feel exactly like GillT57 says.

Luckygirl Sun 24-Jan-21 22:44:54

I think an exhortation to stop complaining is out of order - letting others know if you are feeling bad is sometimes the thing that keeps people going.

Callistemon Sun 24-Jan-21 22:49:01

It's all relative.

annodomini Sun 24-Jan-21 22:50:04

I take your point, Dinahmo. I don't think you meant to preach to us, though it may seem that way. If you're feeling down, it does no good at all to point out that some people somewhere in the world are worse off. It makes it worse in some ways knowing that awful things are happening, have happened and will happen and there's nothing we can do about it - unless you are inclined to pray which I'm not.

Callistemon Sun 24-Jan-21 22:51:57


I do so hate being lectured. It reminds me of being made to eat my school dinners because there were starving children in India. It didn’t make the cold, congealed lump of gristle that passed for meat on my plate any more appetising.

I was just thinking that, what my Mum used to say:

"Eat your sprouts because children in Africa are starving"
I remember saying she could post the sprouts to them. (I was only about 6 at the time)

We did take money into Sunday school for African and Indian children but many are still starving.

GagaJo Mon 25-Jan-21 06:32:12

I agree Smileless. Although it's hard, there is a lot I'm thankful for.

GagaJo Mon 25-Jan-21 06:32:56

Sorry! Dinahmo.

nanna8 Mon 25-Jan-21 08:02:05

Some people are all alone in this pandemic and they already have pre existing mental health issues. I feel really sad for them and charity begins at home, doesn’t it ? These are people who can be helped by a phone call, a listening ear, maybe even a zoom session if they are able to. Others are desperately afraid because they have lost their jobs. With a country like India there is immense richness so I tend not to think of them as a recipient of charity at all.

vampirequeen Mon 25-Jan-21 08:11:03

You can't compare one person's suffering to another. To do so is to disrespect how they feel. Feelings and emotions are unique to that person. Things that are unique cannot be compared.

vampirequeen Mon 25-Jan-21 08:14:18

My mam's advice when I went into labour was 'no matter how much it hurts remember some people are dying of cancer'. Believe me I didn't give a hoot about people dying of cancer when I went into full blown labour. It wasn't that I don't care about people with cancer. I was just overwhelmed by my suffering at the time.

Luckygirl Mon 25-Jan-21 10:33:15

As a child I was always offering to send my ill-cooked sprouts to the the starving in Africa.

Gwyneth Mon 25-Jan-21 10:41:51

Dinahmo I agree too many people whinge about lockdown and only think about themselves. We are so fortunate to live in this country with all it’s benefits we forget that there are people living without food and shelter in other parts of the World. Perhaps if people did less whingeing they might feel more positive in themselves.

vampirequeen Mon 25-Jan-21 10:47:45

So people are only allowed to say how they feel as long as they're worse off than people in war zones or starving or dying of some incurable disease etc. That is totally disrespectful to people who are struggling. It's a mental health issue.

janeainsworth Mon 25-Jan-21 10:55:21

Well, lucky you Gwyneth if you’ve managed to get through the last 10 months without once painfully missing your children and grandchildren, your friends, going out as and when you please, not been cooped up in a small apartment with only yourself for company, or worse still, with a partner who you no longer love or who abuses you, not had to manage on a much reduced income, not been made redundant, not had to homeschool your children, not had to watch a loved one suffer or even die with Covid, not had to worry about your young adult child missing out on so much of their education and social life, or your adult child exhausted with working in the NHS as a front-line worker.
I’m happy for you.
I fully accept that lockdown is necessary to safeguard our NHS and prevent unnecessary deaths and suffering.

But please don’t pretend it’s easy. Every one of us has made sacrifices in some way and many people are suffering even if they haven’t actually contracted the virus.

Sadly, war, famine and suffering in other countries will always be there and there is very little we as individuals can do to alleviate it.

Don’t let’s add guilt about something over which we have no control to the distress many feel as a result of the pandemic.

Gwyneth Mon 25-Jan-21 11:00:37

Actually I haven’t seen any of my family for almost a year and I live on my own. That is a fact not a moan by the way, I don’t believe whingeing and moaning achieves anything. But I guess if continuous whingeing makes people feel better then it has I suppose achieved it’s purpose.

Anniebach Mon 25-Jan-21 11:09:21

I am whinging, have arthritis in hands, hip, knee, only have use of thumb and forefinger on each hand. My granddaughter who lives 50 miles away can’t come to help me, I can’t sleep in
my bed because I can’t change the bed linen so sleep on a sofa,
causes much pain. Can’t put socks on because can’t cut nails.

Apart from one visit from physiotherapist no one has been in
my home since October. I must take Gwyneth’s advice and stop thinking about myself.

janeainsworth Mon 25-Jan-21 11:10:57

Most people don’t whinge though. They put up with things and just carry on and suffer in silence, and as vq says, to the detriment of their mental health.
We will never know the amount of collateral damage the pandemic has caused and comparing it to suffering due to other causes isn’t really helpful.

Rosalyn69 Mon 25-Jan-21 11:24:37

Oh dear. I do feel compassion for all people who are struggling. Times are hard. But there is a part of me saying “get on with it”. I’m not disputing mental health issues but I fear that for some people is a convenient “excuse”.
Not a popular view I’m sure but I do get tired of moaners and I’m not sure they don’t take the attention away from people who are genuinely struggling. .

Gwyneth Mon 25-Jan-21 11:28:57

Yes I agree Rosalyn the people I know who are genuinely struggling do just get on with it. Get your tin hat out though because we are about to be attacked!!

janeainsworth Mon 25-Jan-21 11:42:57

Anniebach thanks I know these won’t help really but thinking of you.