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The fear women live with

(335 Posts)
Whitewavemark2 Thu 11-Mar-21 08:35:38

I have been listening to the news about Sarah Everard and reflecting on her death.

One comment that definitely rang true with me is the comment that “there won’t be a woman in the country, who, walking home after dark, doesn’t feel a frisson of fear if they sense someone walking behind them”

The commentary then went on to say that a woman being killed in this way is a very rare occurrence, but someone then said the killing of women is not rare, in fact since Sarah’s death 6 more women and a little girl have been killed. These I assume are domestic violence.

But that knowledge is utterly appalling. Something really must be done. I feel very troubled by this.

Alegrias1 Sat 13-Mar-21 08:07:30

Does anyone else see a correlation between "men get attacked too" and "all lives matter"?

Oldwoman70 Sat 13-Mar-21 08:13:28

nanna8

Maybe places like Singapore have the right idea. Public canings.

Can't agree with that - it merely confirms that violence equals power.

I would prefer to see imprisonment combined with compulsory courses regarding equality and respect

BlueBelle Sat 13-Mar-21 08:21:33

Oh gosh nana8 what about a stake and bonfire or perhaps the gullitine while you do your knitting
Yes me. Do get killed on the streets but almost always by other men so the simple equation is men are often violent
But surely this is different what could this girl have done to Wayne Couzens to have made him so violent

I was very surprised to read he only entered the police 3 years ago I didn’t even realise you could start a police career at 45 ?

25Avalon Sat 13-Mar-21 08:32:09

Ok Singapore has public cannings but that hasn’t stopped the “wrongdoings” that lead to the canning so it doesn’t work, just as the birch didn’t work in this country. It is barbaric.

We should all be able to go out freely at anytime but I don’t know what you do to achieve this. We can protest all we like but there are still nutters out there who present a risk. Putting a 6pm curfew on men is unworkable and not the answer either. There are far more decent men out there than these few who perpetrate these dreadful crimes. Anyone vulnerable has to be careful for themselves. It’s not how it should be but how it is. At best all you can do is educate and instil decent values across society but the majority already have that.

Galaxy Sat 13-Mar-21 08:34:45

You can be careful for yourself. I am sorry but that's just nonsense said to make people feel better.

BlueSky Sat 13-Mar-21 08:36:06

Agree Sparkling. How dreadful for your grandson to have been attacked. This is a big worry for us who have DGS too, not just DGD. I don’t know what the solution is sadly.

suziewoozie Sat 13-Mar-21 08:36:26

Alegrias1

Does anyone else see a correlation between "men get attacked too" and "all lives matter"?

Yes

lemsip Sat 13-Mar-21 08:44:22

He has been a police officer for 10 years NOT 3 as previously stated by a poster...

25Avalon Sat 13-Mar-21 08:45:05

No Galaxy I don’t think it is nonsense to be careful for ourselves. We can carry rape alarms, learn self defence, etc. How else do we try to keep safe? We shouldn’t have to but we do. Most men are physically stronger than women and short of carrying a firearm how do we stop the bad ones? We have to be aware and cautious sadly. I

Galaxy Sat 13-Mar-21 09:00:32

You cant. And even if you do they will just do it to another woman.

suziewoozie Sat 13-Mar-21 09:05:23

lemsip

He has been a police officer for 10 years NOT 3 as previously stated by a poster...

He transferred to the Met in Sept 18 from the Civil Nuclear Constabulary where he was one of the armed police guarding Dungeness. He had worked there since 2011

Katie59 Sat 13-Mar-21 09:16:59

We don’t need to bring back the birch,we do need to expect a much better standard of behavior, yes, that will mean restricting personal freedoms, but do we really want paramedics, firemen or police abused at emergency scenes.

Instead of complaining we should do something about it, it’s just crazy that nurses at A&E have to be protected from patients by security guards, or don’t we care.

OnwardandUpward Sat 13-Mar-21 10:42:18

Alegrias1

Does anyone else see a correlation between "men get attacked too" and "all lives matter"?

Yes.

facepalm

Delene100 Sat 13-Mar-21 11:25:39

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Galaxy Sat 13-Mar-21 11:27:23

For fucks sake.

Greeneyedgirl Sat 13-Mar-21 11:34:27

I found your post distasteful and inappropriate under the circumstances Delene100 and I second your’s Galaxy.

suziewoozie Sat 13-Mar-21 11:48:46

Who needs to worry about the attitudes of men when we’ve got women like Delene? I can’t decide whether to respond properly to her post or if I’m far too angry about it so to do.

3nanny6 Sat 13-Mar-21 12:04:43

Delene what a distasteful post and a terrible thing to say.

Wayne Couzens broke the oath of the police as his job would be to uphold personal and physical safety to the public.
A much bigger thing to think about and for men like that women have no chance of being safe.
Sounds like he acted worse than an animal.

suziewoozie Sat 13-Mar-21 12:08:09

I wonder what words of advice/wisdom/condemnation Delene has for the shop worker attacked on her way home from work?

Jaxjacky Sat 13-Mar-21 12:08:28

www.gov.uk/government/consultations/violence-against-women-and-girls-vawg-call-for-evidence/violence-against-women-and-girls-vawg-strategy-2021-2024-call-for-evidence

Summerlove Sat 13-Mar-21 12:22:47

Women are demanding that the streets should be safer, what we should be demanding is that our children boys and girls, should respect more and behave better. Of course that means accepting the responsibility ourselves to do our part

And that’s done through education abs discipline in the home. Education in real life.

Something many of us have done for years.

Others, find it all a joke and encourage it. Even women. Some call certain assaults “silly”. They complain their sons are afraid to look at a woman.

You’ve really missed my point.

Many families are complicit.

Read a cat calling thread.

This is a widespread problem, and nothing to do with “not being allowed to discipline in schools

Summerlove Sat 13-Mar-21 12:24:21

Alegrias1

Does anyone else see a correlation between "men get attacked too" and "all lives matter"?

Yes.

A thread about women’s fear often gets turned around to men’s.

All very similar.

Marginalized groups don’t deserve their own threads

SueDonim Sat 13-Mar-21 14:28:18

Wow, Delene100, you don’t want to speak ill of the dead and then you do just that? shock As for taking taxis, have you not heard of John Worboys? Carrie Simmons was one of his targets, who thankfully escaped. Others weren’t so lucky.

suziewoozie Sat 13-Mar-21 14:46:58

SueDonim

Wow, Delene100, you don’t want to speak ill of the dead and then you do just that? shock As for taking taxis, have you not heard of John Worboys? Carrie Simmons was one of his targets, who thankfully escaped. Others weren’t so lucky.

The real issue is taxis cost money - I posted an example of a shop worker attacked on her way home. Doubt she could afford taxis.

PamelaJ1 Sat 13-Mar-21 15:07:15

Galaxy

You can be careful for yourself. I am sorry but that's just nonsense said to make people feel better.

You can be careful of yourself but that doesn’t always work. These incidents can happen at the most unexpected times.
We can’t be in flight mode 24/7.
A couple of weeks ago there was an article on a tv programme extolling the joy of walking at night. Works wonders for your peace of mind apparently.
I couldn’t have been the only woman watching that thinking ‘what’!!