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Gender? Sex? Help me out please.

(866 Posts)

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volver Tue 15-Mar-22 14:50:07

Now I might be asking for trouble but I’m looking for information.

On two threads active today about politics, we’ve had posts very quickly about gender politics. I’m a bit in the dark and I tend to stay off the gender politics threads as they tend to get heated. (Yes, this is me, really. wink)

So I’m looking for information on this issue and why people are so fired up about it. No judgement please, I am just trying to understand this.

Galaxy Thu 17-Mar-22 09:22:44

Perhaps you could pop onto the dating websites and tell gay men how they should express their preferences. From what I jave seen the responses from gay men would be robust to say the least.

VioletSky Thu 17-Mar-22 09:43:21

I don't tell anyone how to express themselves... Unless they ask me for dating advice

I do think I've made my point now though, it's right there and I only asked for it to be considered that it's not actually polite to shout "I won't date trans people" unless a trans person has actually said that to you.

I get its in "solidarity" because some bonkers trans people think they have a right to dates...

However it is hurtful to trans people who don't think like that. Especially as trans people can be also be anywhere on the spectrum of sexuality themselves

trisher Thu 17-Mar-22 09:44:02

The two gay men I have known who were propositioned by women (one knew the bloke was gay, the other didn't) behaved with great politeness and consideration to the women concerned. One politely removed himself and avoided the woman, the other explained he was gay and in fact had a civil partnership. Neither was rude, perhaps that's just on social media.

Galaxy Thu 17-Mar-22 09:47:20

I dont think its rude to say I dont date women. I have seen gay men say very kindly I dont date women.

volver Thu 17-Mar-22 09:47:53

I started this thread but I'm about to hide it.

What a fuss about not very much.

Don't do irreversible medical procedures on children, don't believe everything you read on right wing sites, stop worrying about whether lesbians have penises and whether you'll be seen by a nurse with a beard.

And now that I've offended everyone, I'm hiding this thread.

Iam64 Thu 17-Mar-22 09:48:45

Let’s just be sensible about people we have known. I’ve lost count of the times gay or lesbian friends used to be told all they needed was a good seeing to by someone of the opposite sex to turn them
As for we old feminists / how often were we told we were short of a good seeing to, that’d get rid of our grumbling and silly ideas

VioletSky Thu 17-Mar-22 09:51:03

volver I've done it in the past but they still appear in the active discussions box...

Wishing you strength over curiosity lol

GagaJo Thu 17-Mar-22 09:52:31

volver

I started this thread but I'm about to hide it.

What a fuss about not very much.

Don't do irreversible medical procedures on children, don't believe everything you read on right wing sites, stop worrying about whether lesbians have penises and whether you'll be seen by a nurse with a beard.

And now that I've offended everyone, I'm hiding this thread.

Amen!

Galaxy Thu 17-Mar-22 09:52:35

You havent offended me volver. I have lost lots of respect for you. Mocking traumatised women who want to be seen by a female when they are in a vulnerable position just doesnt really do it for me.

JaneJudge Thu 17-Mar-22 09:55:18

whatever happened to consent during all of this as well

VioletSky Thu 17-Mar-22 09:57:52

I miss volver

volver Thu 17-Mar-22 09:59:40

Galaxy

You havent offended me volver. I have lost lots of respect for you. Mocking traumatised women who want to be seen by a female when they are in a vulnerable position just doesnt really do it for me.

OK, I haven't found the hide button yet, give me time.

I don't care if you've lost respect or not. If you are in a vulnerable position and are not happy with how you are being treated, scream the place down, Don't expect a whole segment of society to conform to ideas that you think would make you feel more secure.

SueDonim Thu 17-Mar-22 09:59:56

volver

I started this thread but I'm about to hide it.

What a fuss about not very much.

Don't do irreversible medical procedures on children, don't believe everything you read on right wing sites, stop worrying about whether lesbians have penises and whether you'll be seen by a nurse with a beard.

And now that I've offended everyone, I'm hiding this thread.

That’s more than offensive, Volver. It’s cruel and misogynistic to minimise people’s experiences such as my friend who had been raped being allocated to a ‘woman’ nurse who was clearly a man in a dress for a smear test.

SueDonim Thu 17-Mar-22 10:01:53

Vulnerable people by definition are unable to scream and shout! That’s why they’re vulnerable! Whatever next? Blaming women for their own deaths at the hands of their menfolk? angry

Galaxy Thu 17-Mar-22 10:02:01

Yes those women just arent screaming loud enough.

JaneJudge Thu 17-Mar-22 10:04:02

How do expect a woman who doesn't have capacity to do that? Or a woman who has a moderate to severe learning disability? or a woman with a communication disorder?
or a woman who is non verbal?
or a woman with a profound physical disability that uses a talker?

there are loads of examples that could be given even outside of normal too sad

Galaxy Thu 17-Mar-22 10:05:09

I expect people to conform to the law volver, whuch says in certain circumstances men can be excluded from certain spaces where women are vulnerable. I also think that men who ignore the consent of women are worrying.

Galaxy Thu 17-Mar-22 10:06:42

Volver thinks we are silly little women makkng a fuss about nothing, women in prisons, people with learning disabilities, women competing in sport. Fuss about nothing.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 17-Mar-22 10:09:55

Women have fought bloody hard for their safe places, for equal rights for years and years.

Hey Ho along come men, like Lia (new name) the Ivy League male swimmer who couldn’t get into the top or win a race as a man, decided to ID as a woman and since has won every single race against girls/women who have trained for years, been at the top of their sport, what for them now?

If you cannot see that this is the patriarchy regaining control well…

Galaxy Thu 17-Mar-22 10:11:07

Some women have always found it really hard to not prioritise the needs of men. Its part of the patriarchy I suppose.

trisher Thu 17-Mar-22 10:14:14

Volver thanks for starting this thread it did begin with some interesting posts.
Unfortunately the common perception on these threads is that women are poor weak creatures who can't look after themselves and who will be assaulted by transwomen at every opportunity.
Post anything else and you will be told you hate women.
Where are the strong women who entered men's spaces and reclaimed them, who used the men's loos because they wouldn't queue, who marched and reclaimed the night? I miss them.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 17-Mar-22 10:16:52

Lia Thomas, easy to look up if you want to

Doodledog Thu 17-Mar-22 10:18:03

Had your fun, volver?

How superior you sound, mocking those who care about these issues (on both sides of the debate). I’m another who has lost respect, whether you care or not.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 17-Mar-22 10:18:31

It’s just not on GN that women are getting angry with being renamed…

trisher Thu 17-Mar-22 10:18:33

GrannyGravy13

Women have fought bloody hard for their safe places, for equal rights for years and years.

Hey Ho along come men, like Lia (new name) the Ivy League male swimmer who couldn’t get into the top or win a race as a man, decided to ID as a woman and since has won every single race against girls/women who have trained for years, been at the top of their sport, what for them now?

If you cannot see that this is the patriarchy regaining control well…

Of course the patriarchy control women's sport but that isn't the fault of transwomen.
Unless you are blaming the contestants for all the restrictive and strange decisions taken. In which case maybe you should blame the white women athletes who objected to Caster Semenya for her being banned.