Fleurpepper
I can assure you that you will never ever know if my niece shares a toilet, or even a hospital room or ward with you. Never, ever. Neither will most nurses, nor doctors. the job was very well done. It would take a very intimate examination to find out.
Ok, so are you suggesting that if people did know that your niece is trans it would make a difference? It is not about 'passing' - it is about being a woman. There are those who flaunt their masculinity but still insist that they feel like women so have to be treated as such. Other transwomen are not particularly stereotypically feminine and don't want to be - where would you draw the line?
Personally, FWIW, I think that whereas surgically transitioned transwomen are still transwomen, there should be a difference made between them and male-bodied ones. That would put enormous obstacles in the path of those who pretend to be women to get what they want, and would mean that people like your niece could carry on as they are doing.
And yes, I know that there are huge waiting lists for treatment, just as there are for pretty much all operations. That doesn't alter the fact that IMO male bodied people should not be in women's spaces, and it is not a problem that I should be expected to solve.