‘Police treat classroom jibes as hate incidents’.

I'm sorry to hear that theworriedwell. Sometimes teachers, and Heads, know what is going on, but they think that the bullied child is coping with it. That's not right. In your DD's case it should have been addressed straightaway.

escaped

I'm sorry to hear that theworriedwell. Sometimes teachers, and Heads, know what is going on, but they think that the bullied child is coping with it. That's not right. In your DD's case it should have been addressed straightaway.

But what can schools actually do with a persistent bully with parents who won't support the school? The chances are that bullying continues outside school.

escaped

The mildest teacher I knew was brilliant at talking to the naughty children. They never raised their voice, though the children knew they were capable of doing so. Coming down hard isn't always the way forward.
This member of staff went on to work alongside one of the Jamie Bulger murderers in their rehabilitation.

That was obviously an exceptional individual. Most teachers aren't exceptional.

PS. Have you actually been a teacher yourself? If so, which age group?

growstuff

escaped

I'm sorry to hear that theworriedwell. Sometimes teachers, and Heads, know what is going on, but they think that the bullied child is coping with it. That's not right. In your DD's case it should have been addressed straightaway.

But what can schools actually do with a persistent bully with parents who won't support the school? The chances are that bullying continues outside school.

Well maybe they could involve the police? That might be an idea. It can be a kindness in the long run. Just imagine if those two girls had actually killed my DD. Obviously my child's life is gone, my life is ruined but what about the two girls involved? Was it a kindness to let this go on so that they could potentially ruin their own lives, years in an institution and then a criminal record for life? Or would it be a kindness to correct them and if the parents/school can't or won't do it then the police seem like a good choice.

Every murderous psychopath was a child once.

If the school has really tried hard to combat in school bullying then depending on the outcome they could suspend the bully.
If it escalates then involve the police if it’s appropriate.
If a child is different in any way they can easily become a target.
What I don’t understand, is when boys become bullies to a girl.

In my DDs case the boys in her class were wonderful and the only support she got at school. I love and admire those boys.

I knew there was trouble ahead when a teacher called Mrs Condon phoned me...

And very often you can have all the bullying policies you like on paper, but the issues can come out of nowhere and be subtly different. I would like to see each serious case dealt with individually, as quickly as possible. I think police involvement should be low.

Some parents find it very hard to accept that their child possibly does have problems, may not be not happy, is not entirely blameless. They do not realise how much teachers know from seeing a child in context with other children, observing their relationships with others, and what they reveal about their home situation.

It is right that police work includes community policing, such that the presence in the classroom of a uniformed police man or woman demonstrates to children that the community is serious about bullying being against the law.

Children of nine are too young to understand arguments about morality ,and need the authority of the whole community to combat evil influences coming from popular media.

Eazybee is that a dig at my child? I do hope not. She had no problems at home or anywhere away from these bullies. We got an apology from the Head, in his words We (the school)let her down.

Context geography is important. As a bullied child those fears (perhaps irrational now) still remain. The police in many counties visit schools as outreach, a fun day to mess about with helmets, radios and truncheons. But they do carry a message, do something wrong and this is what awaits. The child has to be heard and certain things are clearly wrong if done with malice rather than a turn of phrase. Seagulls and roof rack were two phrases persistently used by the kids at our school for I think the police should definitely have been called. The rhyming slang tells it all.

It is a comment drawn from my years of experience dealing with both sides of incidents of classroom bullying.

So are you saying the victim is also responsible in every case? If so your years of experience are wrong and you must not victim blame. In my child's case her teacher was one of the don t blame the bully brigade but when she was off sick for a term the supply teacher was very clear who was to blame and it stopped while she was there.

I do not believe I have said the victim is to blame in every single case. You know the situation with your daughter; I do not. It has been resolved, apparently years ago, but you seem unable to let it go.

Read back you have said about problems on both sides and why children get picked on. Disgusting attitude reminds me of my GS being hurt by a boy and the Head saying we're you annoying him. No wonder bullying going on when adults excuse the bullies.

On a thread about bullying I'm talking about bullying how amazing is that. Maybe you need to let your years of experience go. Personally I will stand up for any child being bullied and in my 60s I intervened when a gang of kids of about 14 were picking in another child. No one should walk past.

Kids can be nasty and will single out kids who look different, are no good at sports, have an interest that isn't popular or who they consider is easy to pick on. Sometimes, though, the bullies themselves come from a home where their father is aggressive, the kid has an image to live up to and can be victims themselves. I can remember a kid at school who bullied for a while and it turned out his dad was some kind of hard caser who wanted the son to be same. The son changed when he got to 15 and realised what he was doing was wrong.

theworriedwell

As one of mine was so badly bullied she wanted to die I don't have much sympathy for bullies. I hope the police put the fear of God in them.

Hear, hear theworriedwell, one of my boys was bullied constantly by a nasty little scrotum & the teachers/pastoral care lot did nothing! Anything that stops bullying in the bud must be implemented! Its heartbreaking to see the affects of bullying upon one's children & it causes so many long-lasting psychological problems for the poor, blameless victim.😔

Ilovedogs22

theworriedwell

As one of mine was so badly bullied she wanted to die I don't have much sympathy for bullies. I hope the police put the fear of God in them.

Hear, hear theworriedwell, one of my boys was bullied constantly by a nasty little scrotum & the teachers/pastoral care lot did nothing! Anything that stops bullying in the bud must be implemented! Its heartbreaking to see the affects of bullying upon one's children & it causes so many long-lasting psychological problems for the poor, blameless victim.😔

I don't think people who haven't been affected realise about the long term effects. I try to remember it is ignorance rather than malice but I do hate all the apologising for the poor bullies.

I hope your son is doing OK.

Cumbrianmale56

Kids can be nasty and will single out kids who look different, are no good at sports, have an interest that isn't popular or who they consider is easy to pick on. Sometimes, though, the bullies themselves come from a home where their father is aggressive, the kid has an image to live up to and can be victims themselves. I can remember a kid at school who bullied for a while and it turned out his dad was some kind of hard caser who wanted the son to be same. The son changed when he got to 15 and realised what he was doing was wrong.

Whatever a child's home background is like, it must be made absolutely clear that bullying is never acceptable in a school. It's unacceptable for anybody to make excuses.

growstuff

Cumbrianmale56

Kids can be nasty and will single out kids who look different, are no good at sports, have an interest that isn't popular or who they consider is easy to pick on. Sometimes, though, the bullies themselves come from a home where their father is aggressive, the kid has an image to live up to and can be victims themselves. I can remember a kid at school who bullied for a while and it turned out his dad was some kind of hard caser who wanted the son to be same. The son changed when he got to 15 and realised what he was doing was wrong.

Whatever a child's home background is like, it must be made absolutely clear that bullying is never acceptable in a school. It's unacceptable for anybody to make excuses.

Bullying and violent behaviour never is acceptable, but sometimes the bully has a problem in his personal life like a dad or elder brother who are considered hard men and make the son or sibling behave the same.
It's not always kids who are bullies as you can get some very nasty teachers who can make kids lives a misery. Obviously the end of corporal punishment reined the worst ones in, but some teachers can develop a dislike to a pupil and make their lives hard. I can remember my nephew being forced to do a cross country run when he had a serious chest infection and collapsed in the street. It was one of the reasons he quit school early.

Cumbrianmale56

growstuff

Cumbrianmale56

Kids can be nasty and will single out kids who look different, are no good at sports, have an interest that isn't popular or who they consider is easy to pick on. Sometimes, though, the bullies themselves come from a home where their father is aggressive, the kid has an image to live up to and can be victims themselves. I can remember a kid at school who bullied for a while and it turned out his dad was some kind of hard caser who wanted the son to be same. The son changed when he got to 15 and realised what he was doing was wrong.

Whatever a child's home background is like, it must be made absolutely clear that bullying is never acceptable in a school. It's unacceptable for anybody to make excuses.

Bullying and violent behaviour never is acceptable, but sometimes the bully has a problem in his personal life like a dad or elder brother who are considered hard men and make the son or sibling behave the same.
It's not always kids who are bullies as you can get some very nasty teachers who can make kids lives a misery. Obviously the end of corporal punishment reined the worst ones in, but some teachers can develop a dislike to a pupil and make their lives hard. I can remember my nephew being forced to do a cross country run when he had a serious chest infection and collapsed in the street. It was one of the reasons he quit school early.

I agree with you that teachers can be bullies. What you might not realise that teachers themselves can be the victims of bullies - either from other staff or pupils.

I'm very much aware that bullies can sometimes come from backgrounds where other family members are 'hard men' (or women). Nevertheless, it needs to be made clear to pupils and their families, if necessary, that bullying is not acceptable in schools - ever.

Am amazed that anyone wants to be a teacher now.

theworriedwell

Ilovedogs22

theworriedwell

As one of mine was so badly bullied she wanted to die I don't have much sympathy for bullies. I hope the police put the fear of God in them.

Hear, hear theworriedwell, one of my boys was bullied constantly by a nasty little scrotum & the teachers/pastoral care lot did nothing! Anything that stops bullying in the bud must be implemented! Its heartbreaking to see the affects of bullying upon one's children & it causes so many long-lasting psychological problems for the poor, blameless victim.😔

I don't think people who haven't been affected realise about the long term effects. I try to remember it is ignorance rather than malice but I do hate all the apologising for the poor bullies.

I hope your son is doing OK.

theworriedwell

I don't think people who haven't been affected realise about the long term effects. I try to remember it is ignorance rather than malice but I do hate all the apologising for the poor bullies.

Hear, hear.

It's all very well to talk about it in abstract terms, but for the victims, it can be a daily torment. Children and adults have taken their own lives because of it.

Bullies come from all kinds of backgrounds, they need to be made to face-up to their own inadequacies / insecurities because I believe that is the root of all bullying.