Phillip Young accused of 56 offences including multiple counts of rape and administering substance with intent to stupefy his ex wife Joanne Young. She has waived her legal right to anonomity

Useful to know that fact - ie re strangulation being illegal. I would say it is possible to see that a man who wanted to do something like that = it would be about "control" and not about sex per se if you see what I mean. I can see how the nastier type of man would push his luck to see if a woman would allow that much "control" over her. If he thinks she's so tied up in thinking no normal man would want her, or concerned that she felt threatened if she escaped him = I guess one could see why some women might stay put and accept that sort of behaviour - as they don't believe they deserve any better or feel scared as to whether he'd come after them if they tried to "escape" from him.

I'm only too glad personally that - many years back - when the boyfriend of the time slapped my face during the course of an argument I instantly found I'd got an emotional "off switch" and it instantly turned off on the spot literally in seconds. I hadn't known that anyone had an emotional "off switch" - certainly hadn't known that I have one. But it flicked up instantly and I picked up my bag and walked out the door on the spot - because I am quite certain I do not deserve to be treated that way.

So I'm certainly curious how many people have such a "trip switch" and/or enough self-respect to think "I don't deserve this" and to instantly remove themselves from such a situation.

Certainly one way to approach this is for women to bring up female children to have self-respect and know they have the right to instantly walk out if they are being treated like that. Obviously also to bring up male children that they must treat everyone with the respect they deserve and going in for such behaviour is absolutely wrong. There's a happy medium between being "entitled" and knowing what respect/care one deserves and that is very much a life lesson to be learnt.

The adult "children" also need to monitor whether they've been taught this appropriately or need to self-educate to some extent. I'm looking back in a different context now - to where I was absolutely shocked one time to be told by my own father (!!!!!!) that maybe I should accept my health being damaged by the employer of the time as "one of those things - to be put up with to earn a living" !!!!!!. Thank goodness I'd learnt a bit about self-respect and what is and isn't reasonable already by then - as I just registered shock at anyone saying something like that to me - and ignored it and kept up the refusal to have that happen to me. Yep - it's all about finding a balance between self-respect (ie "I deserve to be treated fairly") and not self-entitlement in so many contexts.

It is very important to know/educate oneself if need be what constitutes bad treatment and to remove oneself from the situation - no matter who tries to tell you "It's one of those things - accept it...could be worse". Bad treatment is never acceptable - in any context. Coining a phrase "See it/name it/leave it".


That applies in all spheres of life.

ViceVersa

Galaxy

Yep strangulation is frequently a key feature in porn, young people are growing up thinking that is normal.

Indeed - and it's not just strangulation. There are many other 'practices' which are now thought of as normal when not so long ago, they would have been seen as fetishes - or worse.
When I read about this particular case, it did make me wonder how many others there are out there who have been subjected to the same thing.

I think it's naive to think these things haven't always existed. Some men have always seen women (and children) as simply there for their own satisfaction. Like everything else we just hear/read/watch more about it now.

What we need to remember is that it's never been all men and many are just as horrified as we are.

DaisyAnneReturns

ViceVersa

Galaxy

Yep strangulation is frequently a key feature in porn, young people are growing up thinking that is normal.

Indeed - and it's not just strangulation. There are many other 'practices' which are now thought of as normal when not so long ago, they would have been seen as fetishes - or worse.
When I read about this particular case, it did make me wonder how many others there are out there who have been subjected to the same thing.

I think it's naive to think these things haven't always existed. Some men have always seen women (and children) as simply there for their own satisfaction. Like everything else we just hear/read/watch more about it now.

What we need to remember is that it's never been all men and many are just as horrified as we are.

I don't think anyone is saying that these things haven't always existed, but they are far more widespread now, especially among a much younger age group. Things which were once seen as fairly extreme 'kinks' are now being more openly paraded - and you can't tell me that young girls in particular aren't being pressurised into taking part in some sexual activities which used to be considered fairly taboo in mainstream society.

Tip of the iceberg, I suspect. How many more women has this happened to?

Why do some husband's, in this day and age, regard a wife as property?

I'm not sure that they are more widespread Viceversa How would we have heard of such things in the patriarchal days when a man could decide whether it was worth teaching his daughters or servants to read? How, before radio and television, did we know much about societies other than our own. And now we have technology. So both information about evil deeds and the tracking down of those who practice them have grown but the actual numbers may not have done. It's a horrible thought but many more may have simply got away with their wickedness.

I'm sure many did get away with things then, yes - but with the internet so readily available now, you cannot tell me that young people are aware of things like this at a much earlier age than before? Are you trying to tell me that things like strangulation during sex were widely known about - never mind practised - when you were a teenager?

Yes and porn is utterly different now, I think it was the Tories who were going to do an investigation on the impact, but it never happened.

Those of us whose work meant involvement with sex offenders will be aware of levels of depravity and that sexual abuse of women and children is as old as time.

My concern is that easy access to extreme pornography is now available on a smart phone. One outcome is the normalisation of sexual practices that bring physical and emotional risks and thst have not and imo should not be seen as mainstream.

I’m not sure how we change this but we’d be wise to block the phones of under 16s (18s?)

Yes, exactly, Iam64. I daresay when many of us were teenagers, the only access to porn would have been the odd discarded 'dirty' magazine or book, but now there's a whole seedy world of extreme pornography available to everyone at the touch of a button, so to speak.

Exactly Vice Versa, real efforts were needed to obtain the real nasties. Sex offenders often start small, eg indecent exposure, then gradually escalate as the need for excitement needs more stimulation