It really gets up my goat!

Oh gosh - that reminds me of another Queenslandism - filum for film.

My Nana was known to report that DS1 had nappy rash around his little peanut.

The use of the word 'don't' instead of 'haven't' also drives me mad. Eileen Atkins in Doc Martin this week said something like 'we need to talk if you have nothing else to do, which presumably you don't.' Or is that me getting it wrong? And the omission of the word 'that' by most newsreaders - as in 'forecasters have warned the weather is set to get worse' - put a that in for goodness sake.

My mother has 'Blood Pressure'

Thomas the Tank - NOOOO it's Thomas the Tank ENGINE!!!

love the 'dildo' rail story.

My uncle used to say Chimbley (chimney) and Thilthy (filthy)

I once asked for Thai Chi tea instead fo Chi Tea Tea

humus instead of Humous

Flower - I used to know people who said chimbley! I think I am turning into an angry old bird.

Like Galen's earlier post I remember receiving an absence note from a mother explaining that her son" had been to see the optician with his eyes"! Difficult for him to go without them !

I have just been standing behind someone in Waitrose's café who asked " can I get a coffee ?" instead of "may I have a coffee? This use of get is becoming increasingly common so I suppose we have to accept it.

My dear Mum used to say 'vitamims', and 'rubban(d)' (for 'ribbon') which was odd because she had worked, as a girl, in a shop selling ribbons and lace...

Re the "can I get", I once heard someone say this in a pub I used to frequent. The landlord replied "No, you can't , that's my job"

My MIL used to say "snug as a rug in a bug".

I like it Phoenix Good for him. I bet the customer was taken aback!

I like to say "semi-skilled milk" and "the world is your lobster" - not sure if folk think I'm amusing or really that dim.

"Can I get ..." is nearly, but not quite, as bas as "my bad", meaning "my mistake". I notice that the latter has now made itself into the soaps! Grrrr

rockgran I on occasion say "Does the Pope shit in the woods?" (apologies in advance for anyone who takes offence) as a cross between "Does the Pope pray?" and "Do bears shit in the woods?"

I must admit I do get some odd looks

phoenix I thought it was "Does the pope wear a silly hat?" Oh well…

I also muddle up sayings: "a storm in a molehill", "where there's brass, there's monkeys" and "silver cloud knocks round every dog's corner," for example.

absent

Phoenix, that made me laugh out loud. I love mixed sayings. My new favourite is " well it,s not rocket surgery!"

I despair!

The title of an article in todays Telegraph re the "Great British Bake Off" included the words "the proof is in the pudding"

Aaaaaarrrrrggggghhh!

Which brings us just about back to square one! PS I love your mixed sayings!!

Thanks, graces !

I must admit to feeling so incensed that I actually wrote to the DT. The phrase "get a life" comes to mind.

absent ! I have just remembered that my friends mother used to say that she couldn't bear people "fornicating" all over her! She actually meant "fawning"

Many years ago, a neighbour used to say she's seen a wonderful alablaster fireplace surround... and knew someone who worked for the Admirality in the War.

My elderly neighbour has gone away for New Year. She has asked me if I would water her Christmas Poncey-etta plant while she is away !

My OH infuriates me when walking round the supermarket he's forever telling me to check the dateth/dath , I can't even write it down as its not a word.. its date with a th on the end...

I spent years cultivating and talking about a Cotton Easter until my sister quietly put me right

Makes perfect sense to me Granny23