Estate Agents' Use of English

I recall that one of Roy Brook's adverts said that the more inhibited purchaser might prefer to put a door on the lavatory.

I remember them well from the Sixties/early Seventies
There is even a book called “A Brothel in Pimlico” full of gems such as these (genuine )property ads.
FABULOUSLY FASH PIMLICO.Wonderful opportunity to secure this DESIRABLE RESIDENCE which has everything, dry rot, settlement, filthy decor, running cold water -sometimes where it was intended, the soft glow of gas lighting and general air of decay which is irresistible to the softened scions of the bourgeoisie who have never had it so good/bad
Etc

Yes, indeed. When I was younger and fitter I used to go cycling and we often passed by a dilapidated old wreck of a house in the countryside, someone could be relied upon to shout out, "Perfect for the d-i-y enthusiast!"

Years ago we went to view a house, which the blurb stated:

Bathroom - with bath

Yep, that was it, nothing else in there at all!

It also had a 'natural garden'. That probably doesn't need any explanation, but I'm sure David Attenborough would have found some species in there that had previously been thought to be extinct!

Elrel
It was late autumn.
Salt laden Atlantic winds ?ready to exterminate any idea one might have on 'country cottage' kerb appeal.
I do not believe the agent had a clue.

Ha, ha Sparkly, I actually do live in a property just like that!

Period property = derelict and possibly haunted (my kids have said they have seen things!)

Rural = only neighbours are sheep - well it's in a village

Quirky = nothing matches and is structurally distorted .....

..... although my quirky is a little better than that, stuff does match, but structurally distorted it sure is, had someone build me a cupboard last week, he had to take some of it down as it would not go 'square' as my walls are 'quirky' indeed, not a bit of it is straight anywhere!

This is a great thread, reminds me of why I used to pore over the estate agent details in our local paper so avidly! The best one I can remember had a master bedroom with en-suite and parking ....

Lottagelady, your abode looks lovely and I would aspire to live in such a property, albeit rural, quirky and potentially haunted.
However, just a friendly word of warning, I would keep a careful eye on the triffid which appears to be intent on joining you in one of your bedrooms.

"Spacious Utility Room" used to be a wash-house or a scullery in the Goode Olde Days.

I've seen 'cutting edge bathroom', which sounds dangerous!

‘Plot of land ..... with electricity nearby.’

It is next to the power station, think the estate agent had a sense of humour

Tizliz .
Here's that phrase again:
"We welcome to market this deceptively large, 3 bedroom home."
A house we might be viewing soon - will it be bigger or smaller than we expect?

I have lost count of the times I have seen estate agents describe a house having "Dorma windows." I want to scream that my duvet cover is made by Dorma, my windows are dormer.

Lots of houses seem to have wardrobes with draws too.

It's their lack of knowledge rather than the descriptions which annoy me. I have to laugh when programmes like 'Homes Under The Hammer' call in the 'expert' estate agents to give an assessment. So often they are fresh-faced 17 year olds.

I’ve moved house more times than I think possible but estate agents' particulars have always been an entertaining part of the process.

I remember flourescent lights, a pergoda in a garden, and a guilt mirror in a hall.

Why are estate agents illiterate? There must be a reason that professional people holding down a job cannot write good English.

I don't consider estate agents to be 'professionals'. It's a sales job and most offices rely on commission/getting a percentage of the sale price.

One well known estate agents in these parts now rents it's name and office space to 'freelancers' and the sales people compete against each other to put properties on the market and get a sale. We only discovered this after we'd engaged them.

It cost OH £8000 in estate agents fees when he sold his house. It involved a young man taking photos and showing interested parties (or nosy couples) around. He didn't point out any of the many positives either. We were kicking ourselves that we hadn't used Purple Bricks.

Day6, your usage of 'professionals' is interesting. I have heard this usage of 'professional' to denote social status. However I meant 'professional' in the sense of someone who is trained for a specific job i.e. not an amateur. Estate agents are trained, presumably, for the job. My theory is that the estate agent boss is unaware of good English and cannot herself use nice clear English.

At one time Estate Agents were usually surveyors as well, so held a degree or professional qualification.

I am not sure that this is always the case these days.

At one time Estate Agents were usually surveyors as well, so held a degree or professional qualification.

Yes, I'd agree with that Jalima. I remember when we bought our first house in the 1970s. The estate agent who showed us around was extremely articulate and knowledgeable. He pointed out lots of technical things, like air-bricks, drainage, structural bits and pieces about the property we viewed (and bought) to husband. He also made us aware of the work needed to bring it up to standard. He also knew the area very well and was a font of knowledge.

Last young (sales) man was very young, a sharp dresser and he had a digital camera. I was the one advising him about where to stand to take photos to show the property at its best etc. His written description of the property could have been taken from any estate agent's list of stock phrases unfortunately. He also tried to get us to sell at a silly price, much below market value. He desperately wanted the commission. I got the impression it was all very cut-throat and that estate agents were about young people desperate for properties to flog to earn themselves a cut of the fees. They were sales people, not property experts. Our asset paid their wages.

We felt more than a bit ripped off tbh. The fee was huge. Our fault for not doing our homework and engaging the first bright young thing to sell it because he was so enthusiastic. It had been many, many years since we'd dealt with estate agents and things had definitely changed, and not for the better.

Day6, your experiences indicate need for cutomers to shop around for a decent estate agent when buying or selling. Mindful of your experience do you think that good use of English is an indicator of a good estate agent?

It had been many, many years since we'd dealt with estate agents and things had definitely changed, and not for the better.
There are still one or two around but I agree that many are just sales people these days.