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Estate Agents' Use of English

(96 Posts)
Alexa Sat 14-Apr-18 00:56:14

The tiling is complementary not "complimentary".

And why not simply say that the garage has a side door instead of a "personel" door, or a "personal" door?

MawBroon Sat 14-Apr-18 05:17:51

grin grin
They make you cringe don’t they?

absent Sat 14-Apr-18 06:30:33

Bijou = small and cramped. Ideal for creating your own personal touches = hideous wallpaper.

OldMeg Sat 14-Apr-18 06:59:37

If my memory serves me correct, was there once, in about the 60s an Estate Agent who actually used some derogatory descriptions, such as Absent’s, when selling property?

Grandma70s Sat 14-Apr-18 07:04:21

Yes, there was, OldMeg, but I can’t remember the name. It was very funny.

Grandma70s Sat 14-Apr-18 07:07:04

Ah, he was called Roy Brooks.

janeainsworth Sat 14-Apr-18 07:33:10

Our first house in Prestwich was sold to us by a man called Sidney Santhouse.
It was referred to in the particulars as a delightful quasi-semi.
It was a bog-standard two-up two-down end-terrace.

ninathenana Sat 14-Apr-18 07:42:07

The details of what had been our family home a three bed semi that my brother paid for under mum's right to bucouncil

ninathenana Sat 14-Apr-18 07:45:37

Hit post accidentally.

....right to buy, and had done a fair bit of work on, was described in such magnificent terms, I wanted to buy it.

sparkly1000 Sat 14-Apr-18 07:54:13

Light and airy property ideal for DIY enthusiast = no roof.

Oldwoman70 Sat 14-Apr-18 09:40:40

Some years ago there was an ad for a property in the local newspaper which the agent obviously hadn't proof read because is stated " door to drug dealers". On second thoughts perhaps he thought that was a plus!!

GrandmaMoira Sat 14-Apr-18 10:00:16

The house I went to view last week has a garden with a "boarder" and "flour" beds.
When mine went on the market, I re-wrote a lot of the agent's blurb.

varian Sat 14-Apr-18 10:03:34

Situated in the sought after Acacia Avenue.

J52 Sat 14-Apr-18 10:05:36

The word that gets me is ‘boasting’. It might be perculiar to around here, but the houses are often described as ‘ boasting a large kitchen, or magnificent gardens’
And, may I add, very disappointing when viewed!

Charleygirl Sat 14-Apr-18 10:12:00

When double glazing is mentioned as something unique or goodness me, the house has gas fired central heating- well there is a bonus.

A medium to large garden with scope for the enthusiastic gardener means a jungle.

Kitchen could do with some updating- original furniture untouched for 40 years.

annodomini Sat 14-Apr-18 10:13:56

When we were house-hunting there was one with "defused lighting" in the garage. hmm

glammanana Sat 14-Apr-18 10:27:00

When we sold our last house after reading the write up from the agents I really wondered why we where selling as it was such a magnificent sought after property I felt like changing my mind and staying there.
My sons first house was described as having a rear old fashioned courtyard which in my younger days was known as a back yard,he did make it smart though with loads of wall planters and flowerpots but still a back yard.

MawBroon Sat 14-Apr-18 10:29:08

I could annoyed by “benefiting/benefitting” (which is usually misspelt ) from things like a kitchen, bathroom, garden etc.

sparkly1000 Sat 14-Apr-18 11:34:51

Suit cash buyer = no building society/bank in it's right mind would lend on this.
Period property = derelict and possibly haunted.
Rural = only neighbours are sheep.
Quirky = nothing matches and structurally distorted.

lemongrove Sat 14-Apr-18 15:52:45


lemongrove Sat 14-Apr-18 15:58:42

As well as overblown hyberbole, estate agents take pics which make a ten foot kichen look like a twenty foot one.
‘Sought after location’ usually means hundreds of teenagers
Dropping their litter in your front garden because the school is just up the road.
‘New to the market!’ Means has been lived in by a very old couple for fifty years who haven’t updated anthing ( the house we bought!)Taken ten years to get it all done.

glammanana Sat 14-Apr-18 19:48:19

"Period fittings" in our case when we first bought our first house was 10" skirting boards throughout all fitted together from odd planks of wood then glued to fit,it took us months to replace and redecorate.

Jalima1108 Sat 14-Apr-18 20:32:23

Situated in the sought after Acacia Avenue.
varian if only you knew how I longed to live in the tree-lined Acacia Avenue!
Sadly, we could never afford it. grin

lemongrove - close to the sought-after P**** Primary School means that the parents come and block your drive at 8.45 am and 3.15 pm every day!

Jalima1108 Sat 14-Apr-18 20:33:17

'Ripe for Renovation'

That's ours.

Willow500 Sat 14-Apr-18 20:52:39

We've just been to view a property today - pictures were very good - it looked in need of a little renovating but with a description of 'ready to move into'. We arrived to find it in a state of complete disarray with the previous occupants clothes and photos scattered all over the bedroom and living room, the 'en-suite' bathroom still had the disabled toilet seat attached complete with stains and both bathrooms and kitchen totally unusable. The occupant had sadly passed away but whoever is selling the property really should have cleared it out before putting it up for sale. Very sad and unsettling and definitely not ready to move into!