Kind thoughts please

Does your daughter live a long way away? If not, perhaps
you will be able to borrow Phoebe back occasionally when you have ‘got yourself together’? or at least see her when daughter visits.

I know it’s hard but try not to worry anout the future, cherish Lottie while you have her, it may be for months or years. Time to worry about being without her when she is gone, not before. Sounds like you have more than enough to bear already.

You have made a wise and kind decision for the puppy’s sake, now try to be kind to yourself and hopefully with the warmer, sunny weather, when it comes, you can learn to be kind to Anniebach - love your neighbour as yourself. This is a command to love you too! ?

My daughter lives 220 miles away. I wouldn't want Phoebe brought back here, not fair on Lottie, she was distressed when Honey died last October, then perked up when Phoebe arrived in December, now Phoebe will leave and Lottie will have to adjust to being alone again. But it is right for Phoebe, she will be loved as she is here plus over an hours walk on the fens every morning .

I am indulging in self pity, just been too many losses in just over twelve months , that's life . Two years ago I had three dogs, three sisters, three grandchildren, nieces and nephews and my beloved elder daughter living here. Now it is just Lottie, she is a darling ?

Absolutely the right decision Anniebach ??

Quite frankly after your run of all those sad losses in the space of 12 months Anniebach, I think you can be allowed a touch of self pity.However although I am just getting to know you, in my eyes I think your act in leaving phoebe go is to be highly admired as it is so selfless ...........which in my world totally over rules your small touch of self pity.
I had wondered about poor Lottie losing her companion,but the point is you will both be "in the same boat"........grieving for Phoebe.
The thing to remember is you are doing what is best long term for Phoebe, and as a staunch welsh woman I am sure once Spring actually does arrive,bringing longer sunnier days, you both will be able to spend far more time together outside enjoying fresh air...........Lottie will need every ounce of love that you can spare, and I am sure you will rise to the occasion.
Very much in my thoughts.(flowers)

It's not self-pity, Annie. I think most people would be floored by what you've endured this past while.

It's possible such an avalanche of events has given you something like PTSD. Maybe you need some support to help you deal with the aftermath.

I agree with PP you are doing absolutely what is right for Phoebe.
We have a 12 week old puppy & are finding it really hard going (we love her to bits) & there are 4 adults in the house. Good luck & take care.

Thank you all x . Yes it is right for Phoebe and I will get use to it. I am not parting with Phoebe because she is hard work, it's because I an not able to walk her because of developing this stupid agoraphobia which stuck in February .

Better I miss her than she misses the freedom she will have

I am grateful for your kindness X

So tough for you to have to make this decision Annie but as has been said, it's the right one for your puppy. It's great news that she is staying in the family x

I think you have made the kindest decision to everybody except yourself Annie
But she will still be “in the family” and you will know she is loved and looked after.
Might she come to visit you (or might that be upsetting for you both) ?
A brave thing to do, but ultimately you are doing the best for her

Annie What a brave lady you are thinking solely of *Phoebe but you have the knowledge of knowing she will be loved and spoilt with your daughters family.

How is Lottie? Can she go for a pootle around the neighbourhood when your’re able to do it? You will be able to get out again I’m sure. You’ve got so much grit and determination and have survived more than in the last twelve months than most people do in a lifetime. Don’t rush it, little steps. Can you cope with the back door being left open? Stand on the front step?

As the day of parting draws ever nearer Annie bach please keep firmly to your resolve and I wish you much renewed strength for putting dear Phoebe`s needs before your own.
I truly admire and continue to wish you well.

My daughter arrived yesterday, she and Phoebe fell in love with each other. Daughter coming again today, they stay in a hotel because no room in this bungalow. Tomorrow morning she will collect Phoebe and take her home to Lincolnshire . I will not change my decision , it's right for Phoebe and this is what is important .

Until I get free of this damn agoraphobia I put Lottie on a very long extension lead and she trots around the front of the bungalow, I stay in the doorway. we play ball in the garden too. So she will be alright, she is very small , if anyone took her for an hours walk she would lie down after fifteen minutes and refuse to walk another step. Last year when I walked her and Honey it always meant honey walked and Lottie walk her chosen distance then I had to carry the little minx.

It will be hard watching Phoebe walk away tomorrow morning but I will let her go knowing she will be loved and living a better life than I can give her as things are now.

Thank you all x

Hi Anniebach, please don't think I'm being insensitive, I don't mean to be and I do understand that every dog is a person with its own personality. But have you considered maybe offering a home to an older dog who needs a home, and who doesn't need walking? That would be company for both Lottie and you, and you'd be doing a good turn as well. Certainly our local animal rescue (in North Essex) is always full of dogs of all ages and I bet yours is too. Lucky Phoebe has a lovely new home ready and waiting for her so try not to be too sad. Best wishes

Annie, I so feel for you making this difficult decision. It worries me when you talk about your agoraphobis: are you getting any help for it? apart from this issue, it's really omportant for your quality of life that you feel comfortable leaving the house.

Chinesecresred, there is a dog rescue centre in this town, it was my darling daughter who died last November who started it . I do look on their site at times just to see if it is still a sucess , my daughter worked so hard for it, they usualy have large dogs, sheep dogs x, lurcher x ,would need lots of exercise and would frighten poor Lottie, she has only lived with Westies ?

Just a word of warning to anyone who is going to rehome a dog...never advertise it as ‘free to good home’.

A family I know did this. A couple came round and seemed genuine, and were allowed to take the puppy (1 year old) with promises of a loving home and a story of having lost their old dog.

The dog was later found ripped to pieces in a skip only traceable to its original owners by its microchip.

I know this will upset many and I apologise, but if it stops just one dog being acquired cheap as bait for the dog fighting community then it will be worth it.

Rehome your dogs through a reputable charity

humpydumpty, not getting help with the agoraphobia, it started because I cannot go near the bridge where my daughter died, the surgery is next to the bridge and the waiting room has a large picture window looking onto the bridge . Things not good with the mental health team, I phoned them for help the day my daughter died, they refused. i will work through it, just so many things to work through though, eating disorder, lost confidence, isolation .

Oh so much self pity, sorry . Thank you x

Annie, I remeber; but you shouldn't have to go through this by yourself. My DD has mental health issues and TBH the services available through the NHS were useless, except for a 6-week course of counselling (once a week) which she had to wait months for. Is there any chance that you could pay for e.g. hypnotherapy?

Annie, you have to be persistent these days to get the care you need. Keep on phoning/emailing etc, explaining that you're housebound and asking for, at the minimum, a phone consultation. And when you get that, tell them the truth - I bet you're someone who puts on a good face to the world whilst shrivelling up inside.

Contact your MP or Welsh MP if you don't get an adequate response.

Oh Annie I’ve just caught up with this and I’m just so sorry you’re having to part with Phoebe. You are doing the right thing, of course you are, just as you have done and will do for Lottie. I wish you could get some help for the agoraphobia, totally understandable that you can’t face GP surgery but please try social services for some help. I wish I could do something to help. So many wishes ... Be as kind as you can to yourself. I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow.

(((Hugs))) Annie.

It’s early days and nothing that needs to be done in a hurry, but have you thought of moving a little way away? Not miles. Just far enough to change doctors, get out of reach of that damned bridge? A change of focus?

Phoebe starts her new adventure 9.30 this morning ,

Thank you all x

I can't move from here, I live in a council bungalow , Powys is a large county , this surgery covers about ten miles out of the town. Couldn't afford a private rent, another council wouldn't accept me, i have no reason to move , not for work, not to live near family .

Have to stay .