I would love another pet but.........

Definitely get another one - Just tell your husband that getting another cat is non negotiable. If he is still being difficult afterwards then go out and get one anyway!!

Good Luck.......let us know what happens, please x

I adore my cat but I live alone so can please myself. She’s only 5 so if I pop off I’ve made sure my daughter will take her, I don’t want her to go back to the rescue centre she was scared there

Both myself and my husband are huge cat and dog fanatics, so when the inevitable thing happens, our world collapses. None of us could ever contemplate not having cats and dogs around, he sounds as though he is feeling insecure. I think you should get another cat and have a talk to your husband I do think he’s being silly spending most of his time as you say working in his garage / workshop, simply because you spent time with your cat, bring him in and give him a saucer of milk was what I wanted to say lol, but most cats are lactose intolerant , but seriously he is obviously feeling left out, talk to him and tell him while you loved your cat and miss her very much, you also love him and there’s plenty of room in the relationship for the three of you

I’m not getting another cat because it could easily outlive me, and then, even if re-homed, would feel lost and unhappy. My last two cats lived to be over 20. I’m 80.

You could always do indoor fostering for a cat charity. Expenses are paid. You have the pleasure of a cat (or kittens) until rehomed. Then you get more. I know it isn't the same as a long term relationship with your own cat, but they are all lovely, and need some love and help. Just a thought.

Then, there might be one special cat, that never leaves. That has happened to us. Several times.

I totally agree, get a cat ?.

Get yourself a cat!

I'm a dog person but I fully understand your need for a pet. The love we feel for an animal and that they feel for us is totally different to a relationship we have with a partner. It's often a basic need and I don't think that need should be denied you.

I think you need to have a chat with your DH. I wouldn't be pleased if I couldn't have a kitty or two when I want. Life is toooooo short and besides, he is doing his own thing. Life cannot be one sided - just what he wants. Then get that kitty or two. Take care.

I'm 60, been married almost 40 years, and in all that time always had at least 1 cat - 3 of them for a few years - and I've just got the one now.

I know how attached you can get - our last one to be euthanised (almost 2yrs ago) was 18 (we'd had her 17yrs).

I don't think if I'll have another cat when my lovely Mr Cooper has gone - he's about 15 we think - because of the cost. Last year, he had to have ONE tooth extracted. That, and the blood tests he had to have with it came to £600! I've still got 5 years to work, my husband 5, so we won't be able to afford huge bills like that, by then.

Oh yes definitely get another cat - much less commitment than a dog (thinking rain and mud - and wishing I'd got a cat instead of our lovely dog) When the sun comes out I'm so glad we got a dog - lots of lovely walks and meeting all sorts of like minded people. An animal makes a house a home again particularly once children have all left home.

Definitely get another cat. I could never live without mine, we have at least 2 at any given time (4 at the mo). DH says no more but I have always ignored him in the past! I have a friend who has a cat rescue charity so there's never a lack of anyone needing a home. I use her as an excuse, there's always a good reason why so and so has to be separated from the others or why someone isn't settling with other residents or is pining. I usually wait until he is away and then the deed has been done by the time he returns and 'you cannot return the poor thing, she was so unhappy and ..... asked if I could take her for a while'. Of course, a while turns into weeks and months and by then DH has become just as fond of the newcomer as I have so there is no question of sending it back! Yes, they are a tie but we couldn't be without them, two of them always come with us when ever we travel in the UK or Europe, the others are temporarily returned to the charity for their 'holiday'.
I am also a pet sitter so have the best of both worlds. Whywhywhy, if you live in the South East, I can give you my friends details and you too can have a 'temporary' cat, and I will come and look after it whilst you are away!!

It sounds as if your OH is feeling a little insecure and not certain of where he stands in your affections, Why. Such a feeling may be completely unjustified but emotions are rarely logical.

If he's spending all his time in his workshop, perhaps it's because he's convinced himself that he doesn't much matter to you and so he's occupying himself in the best way he can?

Perhaps, rather than just bringing home another cat, which would only convince him that his views don't count, you should sit down and talk to him. Reassure him that you do love him and want to spend time with him. Come up with some plans for things you can do together - outings, weekends away, home improvements, learning a language, joining a local social/activity group or just sitting at home watching a movie together.

If he doesn't want to participate, then fine - at least you will have tried and maybe then will be the time to find another cat. However, if your life together takes an upturn then, once he feels a bit more secure and certain he's number One in your life, then he might well be more prepared to accept another cat.

Could you not find a cat-sitter locally so you can have a cat and not be tied? (I have a lovely teenager who looks after our young dog when we're away from home)

Talk about how you feel to your husband. It needs to be a joint decision.

Get a cat! My DH told his mother he had found a kitten.....yes...he found it in a pet shop! You can’t do that but local cat rescues have great cats looking for homes

Get a cat. My life isn’t complete without one either.

I'd get the cat regardless tbh because he hasn't started to spend more time with you or go out more. His end of the bargain hasn't been upheld.

Many years ago I had a boyfriend who told me it was either him or my dog. I didn't see him again. A cat is not such a huge commitment as a dog - they do exercise themselves - so I'd agree with Marmight.

My heart goes out to you why. I have had cats all my life and there is a great big hole when one of them has died/been run over. I find myself feeling really low without one, and there are so many rescue cats that need a loving home. You could provide that.

I would be tempted to do what Marmight has suggested and get one from rehoming and tell him it's a stray. He is doing his own thing in his "man cave". Why shouldn't you have the pleasure of a lovely cat's company?

Maybe say to him that he needs to spend more time with you, else you will get another cat for the lost companionship.

I agree!

Well. I’m definitely not a cat lover but just go get one from rehoming and tell him it’s a stray which arrived on your doorstep ? They're not half as tying as a dog!