unfaithful son in law

Oh, grandmaagain! Such pain! {{{hugs}}}

How heartbreaking for you grandmaagain. Yes, it seems no-one is immune - just when we are counting our blessings, life comes up and smacks us in the eye. You are amonst many more, I'm sure, who've faced this issue from both sides. I hope your daughter will be ok.

Oh the total B*****D! I am so so sorry for your DD and for you. How dare he!
7 years ago DD was "jilted" 3 weeks before her wedding by a similar low-life who clearly had commitment problems but not the b***s to face them before proposing and wedding planning. I shed many tears for her but of course better before the event than after. He has sunk without trace and she has a lovely new husband who I would trust with my life just as you would presumably have done with your SIL.
I can only sympathise and share your anger and grief - you had come to love him and in fact he has cheated on you as well as your daughter.
Why are some men so selfish? She has given him a beautiful son and he has duties and responsiblities. Do some men have no feelings other than the obvious one? I wish you strength for the hard times to come.

O dear GA. Poor you and your DH and of course your DD. MEN!!!! Life can be such a b** sometimes. Think positive thoughts and love for your DGS and DD. Such pain and distress must be so tough. {{hugs}}

Oh grandmaagain how awful for your DD and her baby boy such a fool of a man, why do they do it ? my heart goes out to you as someone who has just helped put some pieces together again with my own DD after her X left her earlier this year for his own space!!! for you xx

I've had a similar situation grandmaagain and it's devastating. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Grandmaagain, we`re going through a similar situation in our family right now. Our DIL has accused our son of cheating on her, although he hotly denies everything. They have 2 sons, aged almost 15 and 11 and a half, and only got married in July of this year. I say he denies it, and we so want to believe him, but the evidence is so damning, but also so damning as to look contrived by the 3rd party concerned, so that none of us knows what to believe anymore. We thought that they were so happy. I do hope that everything works out to the good for your daughter and grandson.

grandmaagain we have all at some time been lulled into thinking things are all hunky dory and when it happens under our noses and we didn't/don't see it, we feel like yes we must have been blind...but your daughter obviously didn't want to worry you, but now it is out in the open I am sure she will feel a great relief at not having to hide anything from you..My daughter is totaly opposite and seems to tell me everything that has gone on, (sometimes I don't know if thats better).. we despise her previous partner whom she was with for 7 yrs..and who is our grandsons dad, so of course we have to smile when we mention HIS!! name when grandson is around (but mutter quietly under our breath) with our own words.
How awfull at any time, but especialy now.. I hope you manage to some how get through.... take care.

grandmaagain, I am so sorry to read your post.

grandmaagain, how desperately sad you must be feeling for your DD. Perhaps it would comfort her to remember that she may have lost this man but in his place she has a new little person to whom she will be the whole world and who she can give her love to without reservation. He will bring so much trust and happiness back into her life.

Your poor DD and poor you. You must feel completely betrayed. All I can say is that she will come eventually to acknowledge that she is well rid of him but it will take time and she has so much to work through. But she has you and your DH and support like that has no price.

Oh grandmaagain that's terrible.

We are currently in a similar situation and are finding things out about our SIL that we quite frankly wish we didn't know.

Your DD sounds similar to mine, in that she's the "strong silent type" and keeps a lot to herself.

I find it very hard that she didn't tell us herself, but am so proud of how she is coping.

grandmaagain i'm so sorry to hear your news ...your daughter must be devastated.

Try to keep stong for her hugs

grandmaagain - what a swine of a 'man' he must be. So easy for some of them just to walk away, leaving a trail of pain and misery behind them. It's hurting you so much (and your DH), but you'll find the strength to keep her ok, I'm sure.

May I add my sympathies GA ? . I know just what you are going through - at these times we also need support and strength to help our children . I am sure you will find it among your friends on GN ..When we were going through similar times as you I would console myself that when one door closes another opens . Anyway who wants such pond life around when there are much nicer people out there . Good luck to you and all your family -- it will get better I know it will .
PS I think the door has just opened for my DD !!

grandmaagain I'd like to add my sympathy to you and your daughter. I sometimes feel that very little progress has been made and that so many men are still abusing and deserting women. But we are definitely the stronger sex, and I am sure that you will be strong and supportive to your daughter and she will come through all this and make a better future for herself and your new grandson.

An unfaithful husband is bad enough, an unfaithful SiL, doubly painful so lots of hugs and positive thoughts.Just keep all channels of communication open because that little baby has two parents forever.

So sorry Grandmaagain

Grandmaagain, I am so sad for you all. He is the loser in all of this, and what will his son think of him when he gets older?

Oh dear grandmaagain...my heart aches for you all. Your poor daughter must be in 'bits' and it is so very hard to see your child suffering and feeling helpless when you can't take their pain away.
It happened to our middle daughter about 7 yrs ago and it was devastating to watch her heart breaking.
Fortunately they did not have any children, they were trying for a baby, and he was cheating on her.
You can only 'be there' for your daughter, to help and support her and your lovely grandson...what a silly man.....he will live to regret what he has done I'm sure.
Take care of yourself and each other......have a ((((((((((hug)))))))))) and and xxxxxxx

grandmaagain So hard for you and your daughter. ((((hugs)))
Tosh hello old friend. Hope you're well.

Feeling some of your pain grandmaagain - betrayal is the worst thing especially with a new baby. The sadness we carry for our children is sometimes unbearable but, as others have said, he will be the loser in all of this. Little consolation now I'm sure but being there for your daughter and grandson is all you can do right now. Good luck, sending hugs and xxx

thank you all the pain is unbearable at the moment. he really did seem such a lovely lovely man the whole family loved him. had to tell my 85 year old mother yesterday can you imagine her grief then my dear brother and his family (we are close) today my other daughter comes back from a weekend away with her new husband and this is what they are comming back to, the sisters are very loving but even she has no idea what has gone on.poor dh spends his time either in tears or just silent which is almost worse sil was everything we could have wished for he brcame a real friend to both of us we had so much in comman many shared interests and we loved his parents too now we know it was all a sham I really can't bear it.

Hi grandmaagain. I do hope you are looking after yourself in all this, and wonder whether you are yet able to distinguish what has been positive about this foolish young man and the bits that you abhor. My guess is that much of what you knew of him was not a sham, and the part he had compartmentalised as a secret is the behaviour that you should not condone or accept.

Having been through a similar experience this year, I have found that my view of the other party has ranged from 'what a spiteful vengeful person you are' to 'I might understand why you have been acting like this on occasion.' In the end, both will continue to be parents and at the appropriate time should be encouraged to collaborate on their shared parenting, bringing in grandparents and other relatives on both sides. This is such a challenging enterprise, which brings utter despair and unbound elation at times. I do hope you will all be able to find some common ground for the sake of your lovely grandchild, and do take care