Am I in the wrong

Perhaps he thought you meant don't discuss it outside the family.

No rockgran I had said at this time until things sorted because he is not my son and does not live nearby. I wanted things kept private.

I think you have every right to be annoyed with him, if you had specifically asked him not to discuss the matter with anyone else.

Personally I would be annoyed. If someone tells me to keep something confidential, I do, even when I am bursting to tell. I expect others to do the same. Sadly, some people can't. I'm sure he did it in all innocence sixty.

No it is not the first time because when his daughter in law asked how I was a couple of weeks ago. Instead of saying how I was emotionally he just went into details of my family business. After this I said I did not want it discussing again. He knew how I felt. It is my brother that concerns me because my husbands son is no relation to him and therefore I feel my brother will be annoyed if he knew.

I would feel extremely annoyed sixtynotout - how on earth did he try to justify going against your express wishes? I think I would have to withhold any further information and tell him that it's because he can't be trusted.

Thank you he made me think it was me who was at fault he cannot see he has done anything wrong which is worse really. He wants to visit them soon but I feel like I cannot do it now. I don't trust what he will say next.

To be honest sixty when I read the OP I was surprised at the strength of my own reaction; in your shoes I would have felt betrayed. My husband and I discuss things all the time and we both seem to 'know' when the other wouldn't like our discussions to be talked about generally, but if either of us expressly asked the other to refrain from airing something publicly I would feel really let down if he then went ahead and did so. I agree that it's worse if he doesn't see that you had drawn a boundary and he willfully crossed it. for you.

I would be very angry as well Sixtynotout.

Me too

So would I. It is a betrayal of confidence.If he can't see this, then I would keep very quiet about any private matters in the future.

I would be livid. I have the same problem with my MiL. OH once applied for a job that needed us to be married. At the time we weren't, as I was still once bitten, twice shy. The job was very near to my inlaws. I told them repeatedly that they had to say that we were married, if they ever met the employers.

We did marry very quietly very soon after, because I hated the lies so gave in - first thing my MiL did was tell the wife that we had just got married when she met her at a dinner! I was so angry, and she couldn't understand why.

No, you have every right to be angry.

This happened this morning and because I told him it was none of their business although not so nicely! he has stopped speaking to me. He is blaming me so I thought I would ask for your opinions. Just to make sure it was not me as I am still grieving lost both parents within a year.

I would be most upset too, especially when both of your parents died so recently.
But (sorry!) this is a very common situation in a second marriage, with step children etc. Perhaps your husband's son contacted him to ask about the inheritance? Husband is drawn into divided loyalties.
He still should have put his promise to you first though.

I would be quite cross if it was me and I know DH would go ballistic if I did something like this to him.

I would be furious - I can understand how you feel.

Thank you for all your comments. It is a help to know it is not me overreacting. Having a very quiet night!

I think now's the time to start leaving lots of those pamphlets around. You know the ones I mean. The ones where you commit to leaving your entire inheritance to a donkey sanctuary in Spain.

What I find annoying is that the same step son when asked about his wife's family would say I don't know you will have to ask her.

I suppose I can sort of understand that your DH may have needed to talk things through with a second person if the estate is complex and he's worried and not wanting to upset you. BUT, he should have asked you first if you minded.

I hope things are better today and you have a contrite hubby.

I fully understand sixty. My partner's son has lived with us so quite close but I have been very annoyed when he has shared information that I think is personal to us. He has also done it when out with friends! Hope it resolves itself

Some people (maybe all?) find it very hard to keep a confidence. I know I do.

A few years ago my DIL had a serious health issue that I was asked to keep a secret, including from my DH (2nd marriage). The fact that I could not off-load my anxiety on anyone was highly stressful - in the end my words were coming out slurred in some conversations. After things were resolved the speech thing immediately cleared up. I think it was the strain of my brain in constant edit mode.
I learned what a big deal it is when you ask someone to keep a secret.
Having said that - in your shoes OP I would be incandescent! There would be a huge row - and that is a rare thing for me.

Not so long ago, quite separately, both our DS entrusted us with very different types of information that they want to be kept secret for a few months. We successfully did this and they each told the wider family when the time was right for them. Which happened to be on the same day. Each DS response to us was ' you could have told me!' They could not see the humour in that statement when each had been so adamant that we kept their quiet! It was very difficult to keep the secrets quiet, especially since they were happy ones. You are right to be annoyed, but big secrets are hard to keep. I hope it resolves soon. X

I would be very annoyed. A few years ago a friend told me something in confidence, some weeks later she mentioned it to my DH and was surprised he didn't know what she was talking about because she had expected me to tell him but not anyone else. No if I am asked to keep something confidential, then thats it - I tell no-one.