Support for family members cut out of loved ones lives 4

One basket

Your showing off now Celebgran with your new tech skills lol lovely hanging basket . I've got to go 'back' so will post this.....

Aw Celebgran such a lovely pic of you & Tor, how can they go from hugs like that, to cutting us out forever, I really dont understand how that can bring them happiness! Hope your NS gives you a GBaby soon, it does heal your heart somewhat, but still that terrible sadness of what should be!
I have agreed to look after baby on Saturday the 8th as my ND is going to her friends wedding, so I will get my class covered and no doubt get covered myself...in baby sick
Hope your well smileless and your little puppy isn't getting into too much mischief!

Wow that's responsibility yogagirl ! Reckon you will enjoy.

My daughter was v possessive of mollie I didn't babysit whole 9 months they didn't leave her maybe was sign?

Got try move on as they say driving ourselves mad and caused upset between us yesterday she really isn't worth it.

STILL. Not feeling great so cancelled Tor godparents coming for dinner. We going chill out today !

Rosie is Into barking lately worse than usual naughty girl. Would love
Puppy but guess Rosie would t and we go away too much Joan our dear neibor who Rosie sits is over 90 now. Still we have found another lady Lisa who has pets in her home seems good we know her.
Hope your weekend going well smiless.
It just says at end of posts little boxes upload
Pictures brag brag!

Yes yogagirl you can understand why that picture made me cry.

Yogagirl's right Celebgran, you're just showing off now. What a lovely pic of you and your daughter. It's still hard to believe that our children can be so cruel, I don't think I'll ever be able to get my head around it even if I live to be a 100, which I'm planning to do if only to annoy them.

Oooh how lovely Yogagirl, looking after your little grand daughter for the day and having her all to yourself. Hope you don't get covered in baby sick as even though it's been many years, I can still remember how awful that smells.

I've only just read this thread (well, most of it!) But your daughter's name caught my eye, Celebgran. I have a grandson called Tor, he's 13 now. I don't know where they got his name from, maybe one of the Derbyshire hills?
And I'm interested in this subject because my best friend's husband has recently turned against my husband and refuses to speak to him, avoids eye contact. Apparently something has been said, and friend's husband is a man who has cut off family members. My husband is upset, though he admits he sometimes says thoughtless things. We have to be so careful with our speech.
So I'm wondering what I can do about it , if anything.

Hello TriciaF
If your husbands friend is a narcissist, which is the type that cuts off family members, then there is nothing you can do about it. He will hate your husband for ever more and the most innocent little thing, said to a person like this, will be taken the wrong way, no matter how much you watch your speech. It's not your husbands fault! I know this type of person very well, as this is my nasty s.i.l

Triciaf my daughter is Victoria Tor was nickname she was known by.

Sorry about your Husbands friend.

We have be so careful v upset today as spoke to our son and he was v blunt he will not consider trying contact Tor again furthermore he does t want discuss it again or will affect our relationship.

I was v tearful afterwards.

Just a thought celegran but your son may feel he is being overlooked in spite of being so loving and supportive of you and his sister is still uppermost in your mind. You must respect his wishes and cherish him if you don't want to lose him as well.

Totally agree Annsixty I couldn't bear lose him too. Guess we just get desperate but I totally get why he won't make any more contract with her and love him for his support. He said he realises how upset we are but he Cant do anything about it, hard for him too.

Morning girls
Lovely day again
Celebgran my ND doesn't want to talk about her sister either, we do still slip into a conversation about them sometimes, but then quickly stop. Very selfishly, I'm pleased my ND doesn't have any communication with my EstD (her sister). Before she was cut out too, they were continually trying to turn her against me, but she would have none of it. Thank God our ND/S have stuck by us! I lost my once NS to them :'(

Update on my story - I went out shopping with my friend this morning. When I got home husband said he'd been round to see friend's husband. Asked him direct what had upset him, and apologised. To cut a long story short, the atmosphere was hostile at first but ended with a smile and a handshake
I'm so glad he did this, it had never entered my mind that he would.
Both men have a soft side to their nature.
Whether others on here can do this kind of thing, I don't know. Sometimes bad feelings go on too long and become entrenched.

I if only our daughter completely refuses to talk to us or even write back last hear she drew curtains In our face and locked door.
nothing more we can do.

I agree Tricia that when bad feelings go on too long they do become entrenched, but when you're dealing with some one who has never shown any real desire to try and sort things out, there really is nothing you can do.

Glad that your husband and you friend's husband have sorted things out. Just goes to show that both sides have to be willing or it's just a waste of time.

We've had to stop talking about it with our DS. I think in his heart he realises that his brother is never going to try and sort things out and that's why he's put so much pressure on us to 'be the hero' as he says; because 'someone has to be'. Things being the way they are I think it would be more idiotic than heroic for us to approach him again.

I can understand how your lovely son feels Celebgran, although it's not your intention to do so, perhaps he feels pressurised in to contacting his sister when he simply doesn't want too. As you know from my pm's to you, we've had intense pressure from our DS to keep trying even though he knows the cruel and vicious responses we've had when we've tried in the past, or have been totally ignored. I know it's hard for you not to be able to talk to him about it if you need too, I know it's hard for our DS too.

It's so hard to let go and get on with your life but it's the only option we have now. I hope with time, our DS will feel more comfortable with the situation but I do worry about him. From the little he does say, we get the impression that his brother is pulling back from him. Hard to believe when he's the only family member our ES has any contact with now. I worry that our DS will get hurt but can't help but think our ES's wife wont rest until she's got rid of us all.

Smileless my dear our daughter has done exactly that cut her entire family and godparents out so at least not just us.

Today we drove to gt oakley to tidy my parents grave, it is so peaceful there. They keep church open and even have tea,, coffe, biscuits help yourself.

There was a prayer tree In Church and I did one for Tor and our grandchildren and prayed we would see them one day.

I feel lot calmer now and yes agree I must not pressure Steve he will never do something he doesn't want to guess that's my kids both same that way. I hated hownhenspoke of his sister but can't help agreeing she is totally devoid of feeling. For her family.
I MUST LET IT go before it ruins our lives and what little family we have.

Is hard tho isn't it?

Morning girls
Yes we three and all in the estrangement trap have done everything possible to fix it, but being a one-sided fix doesn't work!
I miss my D&GC so so much, loved them with all of my heart & soul, never did nor saying anything wrong in any way, why would I when I loved them so, but for that reason, loving them, my nasty s.i.l & his mother needed to get rid of me first, then the sister followed by the rest of my estD birth family, he made a clean swip :'(
I too went to my parents resting place yesterday Celebgran it is a peaceful, tranquil garden of rememberance, with a beautiful pond, big fish! and a dovecote, little wooden bridges, quite lovely.
Picking my ND up early tomorrow morning to go and collect her wedding dress, so really looking forward to that and seeing my darling llittle new GD :-) Mother & baby are now doing well, Thank God.

Oh what coincidence yogagirl !

How exciting. Forgot you have the wedding now.

Do enjoy every minute of that lovely Grandaughter.

Monika and little Danika are back from Slovakia now, her homeland. We will see them next Wednesday yippee.

Gosh tired today we enjoyed coach trip to Sandringham flower show yesterday 3 hours on coach but lovely day. We both still bit fragile but made a little prayer to each other to try and put us first and walk away at last from then heartache we keep saying it but still keep on!

Most important forgot to say so pleased yogagirl your nd a d little one are doing. Well.

Smileless hope your week going well and puppy. I wearing you out,

We met lovely couple at flower snow with 2 King Charles a ruby and Blenheim my Rosie is Black and Tan. It was so interesting talk to her she was unable have children to they were her babies I guess, at least they don't hurt us !

My lovely little puppy in curled up next to me, the cats are sleeping in the dining room and our old boy is outside barking at Mr. Nobody who isn't there again. All are my babies and as you so rightly say Celebgran they don't hurt us do they.

Got to take little Eddie for his 3rd vitamin injection then just one more to go. The injections, daily tablet and change of diet are workingand I can't tell you how relieved I am.

Well you are a 'gad about' Celebgran no wonder you're tired. It's great that you and your DH are doing so much together. You and I are so lucky to have the men that we have; I couldn't have go this far without mine bless him. I'm sure it's the same with you two, when one's having a bad day, the other one keeps them going.

Wow Yogagirl you have so much that is good going on in your life at the moment. A lovely little GD to love and your DD's wedding to look forward too. Couldn't be more pleased as there's no one more deserving than you.

Nothing and know one can ever make up for what we've lost but we owe it to our selves and all those that do love us, to carry on and make the most of what we have. DH sighed last night and said "I suppose it's true and you can't have everything". I said I supposed that was true but we should never forget that we have almost everything and there are too many in this world who can't say that about their lives.

Have a good week everyone, what am I saying, we're half way through it already, so have a good rest of the week.

Morning girls
Beautiful day again. Nice to hear you've been busy with some lovely outtingsCelebgran the flower show must have been a lovely day out. I keep saying the same, about moving on and not thinking of them anymore and like you it doesn't work for long :'(
Spent the day with my D & baby yesterday. Picked up her beautiful wedding dress, then had a full English breakfast (veggie) which was delicious :-) Invited back for the afternoon as her Granddad was coming round to see baby (my ex f.i.L) I had second thoughts about going back, as although we had made up, I was remembering his betrayal the first year when this began, until he came under attack from nasty s.i.l and got the boot too! I'm glad I did go as it was a lovely afternoon and we were back to our old relationship once more, which had always been very good, even after my divorce from his son.

Morning smileless
Thanks for your kind words, it is lovely to have a new baby to love and cuddle, and she is gorgeous!
Sorry to hear little Eddie (is that your cat, or new puppy) has been unwell, a change in diet did the trick for my little Lilly, even though I always believed I was giving her the healthiest of meals! and yes they give us unconditionally love & would never hurt us as our estC have done.
Enjoy your weekend all

Morning yogagirl and smileless and anyone else!

My son feels I have t moved on so must try! funny enough feel better for putting photos away.

Then someone on parents healing from family rifts said are you never going. Contact Tor again it annoyed me as I can't possibly,say.

So glad the day went well and you ok now with ex f I law yogagirl

Taken Gra to work so going try enjoy day last time he worked sat 4 weeks ago I got low over photo not today! We got friends round this evening for Chinese their wedding. Anniversary 2nd time 6 years. Honeymooners!

Smileless do hope little cat continues Improve, envy the puppy!
Rosie got claw caught In Collar few weeks ago and started hurt suddenly on Thursday, she trod on bleach I put on parents grave so rushed clean paws she yelpt bless. Saw. NIce vet who also took a fleshy lump off one of her nipples, god knows how,no blood and she was fine very skilful vet.

Enjoy weekend all of you maybe?
My son is on way to New York for conference we spoke yesterday and think we ok now just texted before his fight left and he answered, bless. Could not bear to upset him.

What do you girls think of the daughter who won inheritance over mothers wishes ?

Morning girls
Glad you're OK with your NS Celebgran the last thing we want is to fall out with our NC especially if it's over the rotten one!
My little dogs done the same, caught her nail, need to keep them short. I will have to look that up re D inheriting even though the mother didn't put her in her will, only my ND &GC will inherit from me, I've already made my will, did it when this first happened as I wasn't sure I would be around much longer. I since learnt that you have to make it 'airtight', so may get it redone.
Off to Hyde Hall tomorrow with a friend, so hope the weather stays good. Have a lovely Sunday all

I took at look at that article Celebgran and I think it's really bad that the mother stipulated that the D was to get nothing and then the courts awarded her a third! Her mother gave birth to her two months after her husband died, so a very special baby, an only child, that eloped at 17yrs, she had 5 children and the mother never saw any of her GC! So why the D thinks she is entitled to her mothers money after being so cruel & heartless to her mother, beggers belief!

Agree yogagirl but read whole thing in mail and the daughter did try she was t. Nasty like ours (sorry) seems like mother couldn't get on with s I law and was offered olive branches but kept blowing hot and cold.

I do agree is wrong to go against her wishes.

Some. Say don't take hatred to the grave mollie gets quarter of it all, our. S the rest.

Have great day tomorrow yogagirl been lovley sunny here today.Got my bladder scan. Tomorrow 2 pints and no loo for hour and half