Shared parenting - holidays

I am 64- I have asked myself the same question. Herw, by law, parents have to have 50/50 access in normal circumstances- so children need a bed and space in each house. Mind you, I have a British friend separated from a Swiss guy- and they do share about 50/50. and the 4 year old little girl has a room and bed at each and takes it completely in her stride that her life is shared that way. Perfectly normal to her- children are hugely resllient and adaptable, and as long as the parents don't use them as pawns in stupid games (which is the saddest thing ever to witness)- then shared access can work brilliantly, with each parent and each family- bringins different things to the child as well as shared love.

I think it is up to the parents to make a workable solution and put the child first, rather than what they want ( or don't want) first. If they can't do it they need to go to mediation and the intractable parent should be the one to lose time.

Totally agree.

That's an interesting suggestion Leticia, to reduce the time spent with the intractable parent. My initial feeling is that could add to the stress on both parents and children. I wish people would behave themselves when they separate (and during their relationships . Sadly, all to often they don't and the needs of the children get lost in the continuing battle between the parents. Sadly, some of the Charities like Pro Contact in Manchester, are struggling financially. Some of their funding came from la's who are no longer able to give financial support due to the cuts. It's crazy, especially when the need for children's mental health services is being given more attention by politicians and the media.

You could only reduce the time if they were in mediation, and one was just being difficult for no reason that applied to the good of the child.
In the case of the friend of mine her son had joint parenting and her grandchild had spent many a Christmas with him and my friend. The only reason put forward by the mother was that 'she couldn't bear to wake up without him on Christmas morning' - as if her ex husband and child just had to live with it as long as she was happy!