sad..

thinking about it my friends are in their 40s my son enjoys my company as I make him laugh,GD is not ashamed to spend limited time with me I associate with younger people and people of mixed age groups a 26 year old is happy to hang out with me

I agree with annsixty. The age gap is starting to manifest itself. I think you should show him the door and concentrate on having a happy home life with just you and your GD. Sorry if that is harsh.

Well that is good and as I said your sense of humour is a great leveller of ages. I can only now say my very best wishes go to you, that you get some peace of mind and a resolution VERY SOON.

no jings you are not being harsh believe me ,my patience is wearing thin as it is not in my nature to be pathetic,but when you get older it is harder to pick up the pieces I have just delivered a verbal kick up the arse and made my position clear that by running away he is not facing his problems he is hiding and running from them ,he loves me still wants to be with admits he is selfish in his behaviour and thats when my patience snapped and informed him that he may not have the luxury of those decisions to make and did he not realise that I was capable also of having options that didnt include him he has now retreated to the downstairs toilet to contemplate hopefully I feel like saying grow a pair of bollocks and stop acting like a pratt otherwise you may not have a choice or luxury of finding yourself....are you allowed to say that to depressed people....jings Iam sure you could sort him out you want to visit....

I guess it depends what you mean by depression. When I had a sudden and serious depression earlier this year I could no more have gone out with friends (as he is doing) than flown to the moon!

Maybe it is a matter of degree.

I hope he emerges from the downstairs loo soon and is prepared to enter into a useful discussion.

sense of humour now returning I am fed up with being pathetic thats exactly the point I have made Lucky have given him food for thought wether he eats or not is up to him....am going to have a long walk in hunstanton this after noon with or with out him and a bag of chips and sod it an ice cream as well.

thank you all so much for allowing me to get this in perspective and I truly value each post I dont want to burden GD with all this although she is aware that sometimes adults are sometimes lost for an answer and need help to work out their problems but this should not continue to be her problem..she has enough of her own just being a teenager

Actually, reading this through, he is beginning to sound like most blokes. DH included.

Has he got any hobbies? Can't you start him on some? Something that will get him out with some mates? Buy him a model airplane kit? Or something. See what clubs there are near you? They need to get out with their mates. We need them to. If it's only card playing, then so be it. Encourage him to go out on his own.

Enjoy your walk be it solitary or with OH

You really don't want him under your feet all the time. You need time to do/watch girlie things with DGD.

DTE you will come to a decision that's right for you I'm sure. You're a tough cookie really.
Just consider how much calmer your life would be without him and your dgd at each others throats and how much better her behaviour may become too.
You deserve some respect from him which he isn't giving you at the moment.
(((Hugs)))

Does he like fishing?

I'd lose my sanity if it weren't for DH's lovely friends taking him to the day centre local fishing lakes once a week.

It's bliss to have the whole day to myself even if he is a tired, hungry, grumpy old git when he returns.

On a more serious note....If you put some distance between you, you may find you develop a solid and supportive relationship based on the friendship that has built up over the years.

I know quite a few people who get on really well with their ex's once they are no longer struggling with life's burdens under the same roof.

If in doubt, buy chips!