Support for family members cut out of loved ones lives 5

Luckylegs it is sad for us all when our children do this, I really can't believe theyncanbe so cruel, life is so short, we we t to a dear friend d funeral yesterday only 56 and 4 children, they were so brave youngest only 16.
It really makes you think.

Thinking it over with my husband Yogagirl will pm private details for M blog and best to remove photo and those details Jains got valid point it could make bad situation worse.

Big }}}HUGS{{{ Luckylegs yes we are very lucky we have another D/S, do you only have one child? I lost my Son too though, so my Son, Daughter, granddaughter and grandson, a huge chunk of the family gone, for no reason, other than my nasty s.i.l & his mothers[my beloved GD stepfamily] jealousy! So tragic! Sorry to say but your legs are not very lucky to help cheer you up. I was the same in the first year especially, smiling but crying inside, it's torture!

You did give me M's details privately Celebgran don't worry, I really can't imagine anyone finding our page and if they did, as you say, nothing to hide and the pics are on twitter anyway. Still think it was for you to see!

Please tell me I'm being stupidbut I'm beginning to feel panicky because although the house has only been on the market 6 days, no viewingsand now I'm thinking 'what if we can't get a buyer and end up being trapped here in this village with them'.

The fact that I've been house bound for the last 2 days because I've injured my foot and am having to hobble around isn't really helping. I smashed it into the door frame when I was running for the 'phone and now it's bruised and swollen but no serious damage as I can move all my toes and it's better than it was. Still, if I need your sexy boot Rhinestone I'll let you know.

Not been on for a day or 2 so missed the photo Celeb and am assuming you've since decided to have it taken off, have pm'd you but surely if someone is putting photos on public sites they can't be too bothered who sees them. I agree about not wanting to make a bad situation worse but is it really possible for any of us to make our situations any worse than they already are.

Luckylegs I hope you're feeling a little better today. It's so awful and yes been there and done the whole smiling on the outside while crying on the inside thing; still do occasionally.

Are you seeing your lovely GD this weekend Yogagirl? If so, have fun. I'm going to try and do some ironing now, never was able to iron sitting down so will just have to do my best.

By the way, please feel free to tell me I'm being stupid, just this once I think it would make me feel better.

Smilelss will email you lot thanks Yogagirl for flowers very edgy today time for cup of tea and hot cross bun I think ?

Thanks ladies for support.as always.

Smileless I could feel and wiggle my toes also but I still have a piece of bone chip out of my ankle. Have you gotten it X rayed?

You are not being stupid just normal I would say. You WILL sell your house. It's just a matter of the right person being in the right place at the right time. It took me four months to sell my last home but I did have to negotiate the price.
Think positive and visualize yourself in your new place. Honestly if my other two GC were not living fifteen minutes from me I would move also.
Here's a big for you and .

Yes Smilelss sounds painful?We had great weekend managed da cig being careful, rocking to great balls of fire was bit brave???great night though.

Rhinestone sounds like you really on mend just patience needed.
My foot took so long to heal and lypotryosy did it in end a marvellous if painful treatment. Now got knees?

Hope you get some viewer Smilelss have patience.??it will happen. Only takes one?Hope you got email as always uncertain over address know several Julie's but not as special as you?Wanted you to see photo.

Steve rang last night was great after difficult week. Had lovely lunch out with good friends who drove us then cuppa at their dear bungalow which is looking great new careers and wardrobes they out in Etc.
I have to force myself still as guess hints depression their due to situation

ygagirl thank you for reading M blog it is my legacy to her so she will know we always loved her and tried so desperately to see her. We will never give up.

Off be weighed hope better than last week??then out with Anita lunch and retail.??

Have my odd socks on for husbands cousin as world down syndrome day.

Thanks for the photo Celebshe's a pretty girl, must take after her mum. It was a strange pic wasn't it, something not quite right about it. Must have been awful for you to see the photo's behind her of your grandchildren and their other grandparents. Hope you have a better week, you certainly deserve too.

Glad you spoke to Steve, we didn't skype DS yesterday as they weren't on line. More frustration; I've lost count of the number of times I've told him that if he can't skype, it's not a problem but to let us know. It's disappointing when we can't get hold of him and I could really have done to see his handsome face and have a chat yesterday as I'm feeling a little down and it would have cheered me up.

Foot is gradually improving if rather slowly. Getting frustrated as I can't go to the gym, haven't been out of the house since Thursday morning, can't drive or take the dogs for a walk so Mr. S. is having to do that 3 times a day. Managed to get downstairs windows cleaned today including the conservatory which took me ages as I had to keep sitting down to rest my foot. Thanks Rhinestone, the swelling's going down and the bruise isn't any worse but if it isn't much improved by Wednesday I'll go to the doctors.

How are you doing Luckylegs? Hope you had a nice weekend and you too Yogagirl.

Hi ladies! Haven't been here for a few days, but celeb, I saw that picture and I'm glad you took it down. Sure it's out there, anyway, but if she found out that you posted it here, she might use it against you, making a big fuss, saying you "stole" her picture (I know that's not accurate), used it to criticize her, blah, blah, blah... better that you took it down, IMO.

That being said, I agree with you, she probably didn't post it specifically for you to see since you only found it accidentally. But she knows it's out there and unless she thinks she has you totally blocked, on some level, she must know you might see it. Maybe she has just decided not to worry about it (sigh).

It was hard for me to see who was in the pictures on the wall (even with my glasses). But perhaps your eyes are better than mine or you know what your GC and the other GPs look like well enough to recognize them. (I know I would recognize my grands, even in a vague or distant photo.) I understand that it must hurt to see your GC and to see the other GPs with them while you and DH can't be. So once again, many (((hugs)))

Luckylegs, I feel for you, too. While I understand young people wanting to spend time with friends, I don't get how anyone can completely rule out family (except in extenuating circumstances) - yunno, the people that love us?!

I'm not sure what you mean by "proper contact" though. Is it that DD doesn't want to see you as often as you think she should? If that's the case, maybe there's some room for compromise? Or - surely, she sees you on important holidays like Christmas and Easter? Could you find a way to be happy with that and let your vision of how it "should" be go?

Or is it a matter of her not getting in touch with you as much as you would like or not returning your phone calls/answering your emails? Or of her preferring to text or PM on FB while you would like to hear her voice? IF so, could you let go (again) of your ideas of how you two should communicate and just make the best of whatever way she prefers?

I know what I'm suggesting sounds very one-sided, but maybe it would ease the pain?

Do you have any friends IRL who are in the same boat? Or maybe some whose AC and GC live far away? So you can hang with people who DON'T have their AC/GC around, I mean.

Sigh, I get that your holiday won't kill the loneliness entirely. But it will probably be fun and, IMO, a change of scene is a good thing. Hope you really enjoy it!

Sorry about your foot, Smileless! I so get your frustration! So aggravating not to be able to do the things you (general) normally take for granted! Good to hear it's getting better, however, and hope it's all better soon!

You say that being "house bound... isn't really helping" your anxiety about selling your house, and I'm sure it isn't. I'm confident you'll find a buyer, in time, it just may take longer than you expected.

Best of luck on both counts!

P.S. Maybe you could rent your house out, for a while, if it doesn't sell all that fast? But it's probably premature to say that - sorry.

Wendysue T Has blocked me totally. On Facebook expect she didn't think. To on Twitter as I have been on There a long while and she recently couple years ago joined I think, The photo has to clicked on to enlarge and yes we recognised in laws but not little ones and 2 never seen top photo latest one I a. Crying as I type this wish didn't hurt so badly.

Feeling low guess as had bad night GD woke us up.

Getting used to new phone as had text say used all my data ?Went into tesco spoilt my outing with friend really they said no you haven't as they face you extra for first month and starts again tonight, mmmm very complicated.

We had Toby lunch what do you guys think my friend is an old one and we get on v well as foursome also, they are bit tight, eg large bingo win and did t even offer us a drink whe we went away with them, yesterdaynshenhadn£5 voucher to use and took it off her meal and let me pay full amount, I don't need her voucher but my husband thought that was so mean and I do agree.

Never mind we get on well otherwise and all different I guess.

Smileless have yum been door about foot ?
I don't think t is very pretty to be honest and I am her mum,? She is attractive but nothing gentle or kind about her face. The expression looks forced and under strain to my motherly eyes.

Happy Easter all off acquacise shortly good news lost 8lb in total ??

Well done Celeb you must be really pleased with yourself for having lost 8lbs, that's almost 4 bags of sugar isn't it. I always think that's a good way of looking at it, when you hold a bag of sugar in your hand and think 'I've lost almost 4 of these' it's a real boost.

I remember the bingo win incident with your friends; aren't some people strange. Of course you didn't need her voucher but if she wasn't willing to share it with you she'd have been better off saving it for another time. I envy you going to acquacisebecause I've not been to the gym for a week now. I'm hoping I'll be able to go on Saturday but will have to wait and see.

You always give us something to think about Wendysue. Some time ago Mr. S. said about renting our house out but I wouldn't like to think of someone else living here while we still own it. To be honest, I'm not sure how I really feel about someone buying it. I know it would be the best thing for us to move but it's going to be a lot harder leaving here than either of us anticipated.

On a brighter note, I'm just waiting for DS to skype me. I 'phoned and they'd been unable to get an internet connection on Sunday which is why he hadn't skyped, so he's going to try again in about 15 minutes. Oooh I really miss him, seem to be missing him more than ever at the moment; it must be the uncertainty over the house.

It's a lovely day here today, plenty of springso I hope the sun is shining where all of you are.

Thanks Smiless I am Rather pleased, hope can keep it up!

So sorry about your foot sorry or repeating but do you think you should get it xrayed?

Yes takes all sorts omg the world we live in is so stressfjl, finally got new phone sorted I hope.

Feeling sad as doubt will get response to Easter card and. Money for T at least we Made the effort.

Did my bedridden client she out of hospital, only new g when got back to ask. ME to go back to move her walker nearer bed again I rang another lady to do it. I try support loyal clients but she pushes it to the limit ?

Hope you soon get back to gymn Smilelss ? Hope you enjoyed skyping your ns. In some t wait for bit hugs from mine on Friday,??

Yogagirl hope your week going well. Is your little Grandaughter allowed eggs this Easter? M has allowed D chocolate now and again but she was very strict ??

What are your Easter plans lucky legs? It is sad for you and strange your daughter is rather unkind I feel.
Families eh

After Xmas I am not desperate to see my sons partner but of course all part of the package,

Lots of post since I last came on

#Wendysue It's easy to enlarge the picture, you just open your fingers on the pic and volla! I've already said to Celebgran it looked very staged to me, and she knows her mum could easily find it.

Oh Celebgran so sorry you cried writing this! to cheer you up. You are right about T's smile looking force! Well done losing 8ibs, that's a lot I too feel like crying, everyday! yesterday closed my eyes for a 5min nap but just kept thinking "why estD,why!,why!" all too late now, my precious GD all grown up & would look at me with who's that stranger in her eyes, not the love of before, not the arms outstretched saying "nannie I love you " in her sweet little voice :'-(

Posted above quick as got a call from my ND, she's popping round with baby for a few hours before she goes to her mother & baby group at 2pm

Sorry to hear your foot is still playing you up Smileless try a little chair yoga, I've done that with a 1-2-1 who couldn't stand for long, you can still stretch your legs but from a sitted position. Yes it was a lovely day yesterday, I had a long walk on the beach, it was heaven, really lifts the spirits, last time I went to the beach I found a coconut, which was fresh and delicious when I cracked it open, birds had most of it, this time I found a film crew they were filming the sitcom for channel 4 called 'man down' I reconized the star, [can't think of his name], as I was walking along the sea shore, I thought better walk round, but they stopped filming to let me walk passed, with the director saying he didn't wont to spoil my walk on the beach how funny is that!

Celebgran no my baby GD is not allowed chocolate, so I've only bought her two but one is with a little dish,cup & spoon must dash....

Well, are you ready for this ....... Mr. S. doesn't want to moveand a little. So WHY I asked him as calmly as I could did you agree to put ours on the market? What are we going to do if someone makes an offer? Are you never going to want to move? If so, WHY have we been discussing about doing so when you retire in 3 or 4 years.

Having been very happily married for 35.5 years I know that compromises at times have to be made, but this is going to be one hell of a compromise for one of us. He moves because I want too and may regret it and resent me for it OR I stay because he wants too and may regret it and resent him.

I'm all at sixes and sevens, soand more than a littlethat I'll have to come back on later; wish there was a 'screaming' icon.

Oh Smilelss
Is hubby bit like mine he goes along with plan then suddenly pipes up ??

I think it will be hell of a compromise was he must,swept,away and suddenly hit him no don't want do it?
Is it connected to son?

Oh Smilelss deep breaths called for.

I am feeling. Yuck, we had good day little GD eyes improved, omg so annoying once again saw les qualified specialist and room was filthy, thus time Gra made huge fuss too a do e walked out until they cleaned it, we pays£106 for consultation so is disgrace, asked to see manager and we put views forth. On bright note good GD eyes doing well and we had posh lunch at Angel at bury, they let GD in bar, (been befor) and walked round bury Gra treated me to couple jackets and pretty cards at marks in sale.
Feeling tired achey and sore throat now??

Smilelss I feel so for you hope you can both be happy with a compromise.

Yogagirl guessed little one would t be allowed much choc, M only just relented really and D nearly 3??so relate to try sadness.

I keep thinking of little D who looks like dark haired so different to M sh is blond ad. Wish with all my enact I could see them and be proper gran to them.

I had few tears yesterday as by sending card and money for little ones and plea for meet up once again set myself up for heartache.
Never mind that's life.

Seems like Mr. S. and Gra have a lot in common Celeb. All I can think at the moment is shit, shit, shit.

I put this on AIBU and have had some helpful comments. What do we do? Leave things as they are, the house up for sale and see what happens?

This came up while we were out for lunch, first time I've been out since last Wednesday because of my bloody foot. There was a little boy (18 months old; I asked his mum how old he was) and his proud grandma holding his little hand and helping him with his lunch. I ended up crying because all could think was 'that should have, could have been me' and I'd have been great, we'd both have been great grandparents.

Oh Celeb I've asked him if it's because of ES that he doesn't want to move and he says no. I've taken so many deep breaths since lunch time that I'm feeling quite light headed.

Oh Smilelss have sent you pm men they don't always explain themselves clearly do they ????

So so sorry that was hard for you seeing little one, sometimes I am ok sometimes I cry,too, oh for gods sake why are the estranged kids so cruel to us.

I adore D and being my twins Grandaughter and family I love her so much but it still hurts to think we not got our own, especially when G is so good at playing with her and he would been marvellous Grandad think I would adored being gran too.??

Was t to be God bless and try sleep well all, x

Wendy, the reason I do not see d is that I refused accept her outbursts, there is always a time when you have to say no more for the sake of your sanity, just the way women have to get out of an abusive relationship. I do not expect or have had weekly contact, by email, phone or visits, everything humanly possible I have tried until I just gave up. I accepted that a long time ago, knew it would be high days and holidays that we met up, that was until she and family went away at birthdays and Christmas with friends. After many years the distance grows greater, the child you had and those special years are still in your heart, but they have moved away emotionally. I tell myself, they are loaned to us, we don't own them. I love her with all my heart, but she is entitled to the life she wants. If I was in real trouble I feel sure she would come to me, but I hope it doesn't come to that. That doesn't stop me getting down and missing my girl. Not everything can be mended, it has to be a two way thing.
Celebregran, hope you are feeling better, that PVD you have, I have had for years but yesterday whilst walking it became do bad it scared me, I contacted the optician and realised it was probably the light. He told me once more not to worry, he had it himself, it is one of the many gifts of ages. Hope you don't try to see T on FB again, it is too upsetting putting yourself through that, but I must say I think it was a forced smile she had, she will come to you on day I am sure, she just has to realise what she has lost in her own time.
Smileless, you would not me natural not to worry, but 6 days is no time. All houses sell eventually, it will happen all of a sudden and you will probably have several people interested.
Hope you all have a lovely Easter, with a loved one or two. X

Smileless Probably Mr. S feels you are moving for the wrong reason, would you have moved to that area when Mr. S retires or would it have been someplace else? If an offer came in you don't have to accept it, you can pull out when ever you want. Such a hard thing to do, move after 28yrs of loving your home, quite understandable Mr.S has cold feet, go easy on him, it's such a traumatic time for you both with this estrangement.

Yes it really tugs at the heart strings when you see grandparents out with their GC, hurts like hell! The pain never lessens does it It's very strange in my case, as I now have a GD that I love with all of my heart and see lots of them, but it doesn't lessen the pain of losing my GD & GS and my once beloved estD my baby daughter. How can you continue loving someone that has been so cruel & evil, and what they have done to us is most definitely evil. It's because we love the child that was, I love my estD that was but the evil, cruel Mrs.G no I don't love her!

for Luckylegs, celebgran & smileless

Oh Smileless I'm so sorry. It sounds like Mr. S is panicking. What was his response to your questions? He is probably not a chance taker but more cautious? Is he afraid of the money? or not being near ES?
Or just an attachment to the home?
Would writing a pro and con list of why you should move make him more conscious of why the move will be good when he sees it on paper?
Yes you can turn down any offers.
Maybe he just needs to be told you are doing the right thing and all will work out.
It's very hard once you have the mindset to move. I'm sorry.

So far as 'going easy on him' goes Yogagirl I think I'm doing quite well, I mean he's still breathing. Silly sod was making me laugh last night by singing 'Hit me with your rhythm stick' I'd have been very tempted if I had one with a very sharp pointy end.

I love the baby, boy and wonderful young man that ES was but like you Yogagirlnot the cruel person he's become. It's weird how it just overwhelms you when you're least expecting it. I know the pain's never going to go away but living so close to them and knowing every day there's a chance we might see them just feels like I might as well stick pins in my eyes; it wouldn't be any more painful and may even hurt a lot less.

Yes Rhinestone he is on the cautious side and although he says not, I'm convinced that it's in part not wanting to put a geographical distance between us and ES. Having been just down the road for all this time and that making no difference, I don't see what difference moving 25 miles away will make.

Just had a 'phone call from the estate agents; ours is the 3rd most popular on their books having gotten 116 requests for further information. Just 'phoned Mr. S. and told him and got a rather flat 'oh' in response.

Hope you have someone to spend the Easter break with Luckylegs and enjoy whatever you have planned. You're right of course, not everything can be mended but if it's to have any chance, it has to be a 2 way thing.

for you all for Easter. didn't we have Easter bunny icons last year? Perhaps they'll be available tomorrow.

Quick one ladies the photo of T has vanished on Twitter?

Seems she must come on here how else could she have known?

Oh Smilelss it is a shame about moving maybe hubby will come Round to it in time ?

I would love to be nearer my dear son but we do have such good social life and group of friends where we are so it would be an Awful wrench to move.

One day we may well,

I would adore to be able to see T. And little one but guess I. Practice it would be way too painful under circumstances.

Happy Easter all of you looking forward to seeing mojo dear son and family tomorrow also out lunch Sunday and more friends for drinks Sunday and out sat night see what I mean?

???????hope for ???