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1st Grandchild's Christening

(108 Posts)
millymolly Tue 09-Feb-16 12:34:14

Hi this is my first posting, please be gentle!

My first grandchild is getting christened at the beginning of March. My ex-husband and I have bee divorced for almost 3 years, I have another partner, her has had a number of girlfriends since and a broken engagement.

My ex-husband has stated that he will not attend the christening (along with the rest of his family) if my partner attends. My partner is wrongly accused by my ex-husband of breaking up my almost 30 year marriage although on a good day he does accept his failings as a husband and father but the majority of the time it's easier to blame my partner as we knew each other prior to forming a relationship.

I feel this is so unfair but am sticking to my guns re my partner attending, he has provided financial support to my sons and has formed good relationships with them which cannot be said in respect f their own father.

I have advised my ex-husband his non-attendance is his choice and he is putting himself before our granddaughter however (as the case for many years) I feel guilty and feel the need to say "oh ok then he wont go and you can go with your family instead"

All comments welcome

NanKate Tue 08-Mar-16 07:17:15

Well done to you Milly for sticking to your guns. What a lovely photo and I'm pleased it all went well.

Onward and upward.

Iam64 Tue 08-Mar-16 08:50:26

Thanks for the update and the lovely photograph millymolly. Some people aren't happy unless they're creating drama, tension and making themselves victims. It sounds like you all had a lovely day.

Anniebach Tue 08-Mar-16 09:38:55

Sweet child, I do hope when older she will get to know her grandfather and judge for herself if he is an unpleasant man or a man who suffered great hurt

Lona Tue 08-Mar-16 10:19:06

Lovely photo Milly, I'm glad you had a nice day. Personally, I think you did the right thing. I was married to a controlling bully and I understand how you feel.

millymolly Thu 10-Mar-16 00:00:46

It was bad enough enduring the life I lived with him in the last 14 years of our marriage, now being outside the box I realise I didn't give him credit for his coercive control over me, I'm an intelligent woman, a manager of a child protection team but still I couldn't see what he was REALLY doing to me until I left, he continues to behave in similar ways especially by using our adult children along the way. It breaks my heart. His behaviour is also dictated by whether he has a current girlfriend or not , none of which he's been able to remain faithful to btw.

More news and more drama - my youngest son's 'not girlfriend' as I call her for obvious reasons has given birth to a baby girl tonight. I am truly blessed

Thank you all for your comments and opinions, I have valued and reflected upon all X

mumofmadboys Thu 10-Mar-16 08:26:10

Glad all went well and congrats on new GC!

Wendysue Wed 16-Mar-16 07:30:55

Just catching up w/ this milly.... appreciate the update and am glad everyone had a lovely time at the Christening! Adorable picture - what a beautiful baby girl!

Sorry about your ex' negative reaction! No matter what he thinks his "reasons" are, he sounds like a very selfish, nasty man to me. I'm sorry you endured so many unhappy years with him, but glad you, finally, got away from him and have found new happiness.

Sorry, too, that you had to experience abuse (verbal, I take it) from his aunt. (((Hugs))) Was this in person or on the phone or the Internet? Once again, please screen all calls and don't pick up if it's from him or, now, I guess, one of his relatives. Also, I hope you can ignore any nasty voicemails (it's hard, I know) and just delete them. Same with any emails from them or private messages on FB.

Also, congratulations on your new GC! How exciting to have 2 new grandbabies, all at around the same time!

Please don't be surprised, though, if "not girlfriend" suddenly becomes a more important person in your DS' (dear son's) life. Even if not, he'll always have a connection with her now through this baby. I hope you have/can develop a positive attitude towards her, as she is your new GC's mom.

Wishing you many joys with both GC!!!