Support for those estranged from family members. Moving on together,

I understand your mixed emotions Rhinestone; the joy of seeing your son, sitting down with him and talking tampered with the pain of seeing him at odds with the world it seems, and himself.

What really struck me was his rejection of 'societies norms', of the lifestyle the majority adopt, of your lifestyle but not a rejection of you as his mother. His agreement for you to respect one another's life styles, to not seek to try and change one another or have expectations was very touching. Clearly, despite his problems, he needs to know that he can reach out you, in whatever form that takes.

As Rosy said in her post (yes, a lovely post by the way), the meeting has given you valuable insight and could serve you well in the future. I'm truly sorry that your mother, brother and son are all experiencing problems. I can't begin to imagine how hard it must be for you. Let's hope your son keeps in touch, at least that way you'll know how he's doing. His progress, or lack of it, may not be all that you hope for but at least you'll know.

I remember that time too Yogagirl, there was just the 3 of us posting for sometime but none of us wanted to let the thread go. We were and are, only too aware of how desperate we were when we found it and how it helped us. We wanted to keep it going so it, and we would be there for others. I think you're right Mumsy, I don't believe it will ever run its course either.

How are you doing Celeb? I hope your tooth extraction went OK and that you're feeling better now that it's been removed. I can't understand why dentists are so reluctant to remove troublesome teeth. My bro suffered for months before the dentist relented and a member of our staff had an extraction yesterday after weeks of pain.

I was going to say TGIF and suggest we all have some, but it's Thursday isn't it. Still no dates re moving etc and the strain is obviously getting to me.

Smilless bless it is tomorrow t 8 30 and I am ridiculously nervous.

Poor Gra had xray back not good at all,

Rosie posie vets again blood test etc lots dosh bless she had tum upset and vet concerned she helped when felt tummy so she is conked out now after painkiller jab.

Going see if we can. See night flight at Clacton air show and fireworks now.

Feel very tied and drained was good shOw yesterday but awful seats grand circle?

Rhinestone I am sorry did not realise just how bad your sons issues were,

Must been tough day,

Good weekend all let's hope I survive dentistl

Hi everyone, Celeb, hope your appointment at the dentist wasn't to bad, you gave been through a lot with that wretched tooth.
Rhinestone, agree with what Rosy said, glad you met with your son, if you could just tell yourself that your sons behaviour is out of your hands, if he won't seek help there is nothing you can do, perhaps in his eyes he is happy as he only sees the world from his point of view he thinks everyone else is out of step and not him. It is just so sad you have this worry on top of your mother and brothers problems , can you just put yourself first as it is all out of your hands and who is looking after you.
Smileless, hopefully this time next month everything will be signed and sealed and you can start your new life. Thinking of you all and Yogagirl, Mumsy and Rosy and everyone else.
My eye is the biggest shiner ever and it has been a hard week, but felt bit better today except I opened a bottle of red instead of white and as I have gone off red wine was not pleased.x

Oh bless I luckylegs Jessica dentist was lovley but she had lot trouble getting tooth out had to break it to get grip, she didn't hurt me and was so kind?

Such relief get it over, was tearful as Rosie been v poorly too and Gra back all comes at once,

Hope you managed enjoy the red??

Yes fingers crossed Smilless

Yogagirl are unseeing that beatiful little Grandaughter this weeken?

We had postpone afternoon. With fiends as felt awful and also dinner out tom think will rake few days to settle.

Off bed now my dh got me some gorgeous flowers and waited on me all day bless him,

Happy holiday weekend all ???

Well thank goodness that's over for you Celeb. That happened to me on once, the tooth broke as it was being extracted but I wasn't us fortunate as you, and it bloody well hurt. So pleased your dentist was able to finish the job without causing you any more pain. Hope you're feeling better today. Your poor hubby bless him, back ache's horrible maybe awill cheer him up.

Well, we had a very stressful day yesterday as we found out that our buyers hadn't signed the contract because they were waiting for a completion date. At this rate, we won't be completing until November. They get married a week today, then a 2 week honeymoon and we go to Florida at the end of the month for 5 weeks; it's ridiculous, it should have been done and dusted by now.

I was soit was all I could do not to throw my mobile at the wall. Soooo, I've decided that I'm not going to get all worked up about itit'll happen when it happens; it's not likely to fall through after all this time and if it does, well TBH I've no idea.

Have a good weekend everyone, let's hope we all get some. Had some first thing but it's raining now.

Jessica was very good tooth wouldn't come out so she decided to break it.
Still feeling fragile but thank god over and bleeding stopped been rinsing with salt water today.

Oh Smilelss sorry about delays what nuisance keep calm and hope it all goes through how long til Florida ?

We jet off on Cruise next Friday.

Cancelled plans for dinner with friends tonight not supposed to drink yet ? But going for meal with other friends tomorrow

Monday may start packing ?

Have good weekend all xx

Oh dear re your black eye Luckylegs red wine is better for your heart, but I prefer white myself too, prosecco

Long ole` business selling and buying Smileless never goes as quick as you hope.

Sorry to hear about your tooth Celebgran My poor mum, after she gave birth to me, had all, yes all, her teeth pulled out in one go! The dentist told her she had calcium deficiency [most new mums do] I shudder when I think what she must have gone through, and am sure her teeth were pulled out unnecessarily, she was just 32!

Omg Yogagirl that's what they did back in the day ? My mum was 40 when has us she always had false teeth upper and just few lower they removed them I. Those days unlike now could have saved tnis one but did t want risk pain on holiday root canal is not guaranteed and bit of a palaver. I did start process but it was v sore afterwards and we fly off on cruise on 3rd,

Hope up enjoying weekend? We going xxx godparents for dinner tonight.
Still feel shakey takes it out of me I get so nervous before dentist.

However managed do lot cleaning washing and ironing while Gra was at work yesterday's ?

Hope you all had a good weekend ladies. Well we've applied pressure to all concerned regarding our sale etc. Mr. S. has told our solicitor to let everyone know that if we haven't completed by 22nd/23rd of this month we wont be able to do so until November because we'll be out of the country for the whole of October. So now we have to wait and see what happens.

As you've said Yogagirl and Celeb relatively young women having all their teeth taken out was really quite common back in the day. Just the thought of it makes me feel quite ill. I'm always terrified of going to the dentist, even for a check up. It all goes back to an awful experience as a child and it's really silly because our dentist is such a lovely guy, good looking too.

Not long until your cruise Celeb. Are you all packed? How long are you away for? Where are you going? Will you be able to get on line? You know how much I like knowing the details.

Hope everyone's OK, especially you Rhinestone as we haven't heard from you for a few days.

Aagh Smilless do hope they hustle on with you,away for October.

We fly to Majorca, then onto corisica, Rome, Florence, st. Tropez and Barcelona
We only away a week thank goodness with Rosie posie always getting poorly, Thai god she is all well again.

Not sure ref,wimfi onboard they are meanies and charge,

I will make up for it when get back,

Saw pice of xxx and oldest gd they had done fun run it hurts me so much to be totally cut off it was for charity Nannie xxxxxx yet ed doesn't even care about her own dad being ill our son wrote to tell her, will pain ever end?

Never mind getting excited about cruise, but poor husbands back still not good.

Xxx

Sounds fabulous Celeb. Have a great time, you never know I might have some news when you return.

Fingers crossed Smilless and I will miss you on my wif free week?
Will miss you all we just enjoying ??toasting moving on and leaving xxx-and sadness behind saw upsetting pic online of ed and oldest gd and it hurt so much we really going try leave it all and focus on those that do love us?

How she is treating us with zero kindness orcompassion says more about her than us,

Celebregran, enjoy your cruise, it sounds wonderful. Smileless, good job you have the caravan and have had such good weather. Bet when you least expect it the paperwork will get sorted. Hope Yogagirl, Rhinestone,Fairy Doll, Mumsy and Rosie are doing well, hope I have not left anyone out. Still feeling really low, but there aren't any pills a doctor could give me, I keep thinking I am just not good with family issues, everyone else seems to get it right, My eye isn't looking too bad except for a burst blood vessel now which looks a bit weird, someone asked me the other day, did I know I only had eye shadow on one eye! I must be really odd if they think I would put it underneath the eye too.

Oh thanks luckylegs just off to bed but had to say thinking of you and hope you feel brighter soon ????? xx
We have to let go of the past and move forward.
??

That was my mantra for husband and me by the way letting go of past

Page 13!!!

Have a wonderful time on your cruise Celebgran We can never forget or move on, I think we have to except that too. My ND said once "We are on that subject again mum, we must stop talking about it!" I replied "we will always be talking about it, so we have to except that we will" Some days we don't mention it at all and the others the flood gates open, but how can it be otherwise, a mother can never forget or move on from her child

My ND is away on holiday for a week feeling quite lonely She came round the day before and brought me and Lilly little gifts, Lilly's was a little bandana, very cute and mine was a heart with a butterfly, white & pink diamonds with a verse from my baby GD [her name on it], so sweet I had to stop myself from crying. I am sorry if that last bit hurts you [re GD], I know I am very lucky to have been given another GD by my ND, it's so sad though, because it doesn't alter the pain, it's still there, just the same, this living bereavement taints everything!

Luckylegs put a matching colour on your good eye and then you can go out looking all made up and pretty

Smileless Keep that pressure up and hopefully you will be all signed before your trip to Florida, then you can relax and enjoy, good luck

& for all, well it is Friday

Thanks for advise Yogagirl, but the bruise went all underneath the eye to, I have a burst blood vessel which makes me look like a ghoul. I wear sun glasses when out even in the rain, the neighbours must think I am trying to disguise myself. I will be so glad to put eye make up on as I feel naked without it. My friends have given up on make up now, but I still like to use it and try new products.
Thoughts with all those coping with estrangement. The worse thing about it for me is how it has sapped my confidence, but I keep it hidden underneath the make up.?

Yes, makeup's good for helping us to feel more confident Luckykegs. Losing confidence in our selves is one of the often unseen consequences of our estrangement.

I must admit I went through a period of what can only be described as paranoia especially when it came to our relationship with our DS. I was convinced that we were were going to lose him too and why not, we'd lost one son and we never thought that would happen so why should we not lose our other son too.

Well good news at last ladies, everyone whose involved with our sale has signed their contracts and we go to our solicitor's on Tuesday to sign ours for our purchase. I'm reasonably confident that we'll complete on the 23rd as I should think we're the only ones who wont be bothered if we don't complete until November as we'll be in Florida for 5 weeks.

I agree that we'll never forget Yogagirl but I do think it's possible to move on. We certainly believe that that's what we're doing, quite literally by leaving our home of 28 years. Spending virtually all of our time at our holiday home has shown how much easier it's going to be not living so close to them.

The timing couldn't be better, our eldest GS starts school next week so if we'd stayed I'm sure we'd have had more glimpses of him going up and down on a daily basis.

I'll get the local papers next week as they always have photo's of the new starters; I wonder if we'll be able to pick him out?

Have a good Sunday everyone, I hope Celeb's getting a smooth crossing.

I wonder if we'll be able to pick him out? Those few words illustrate the awful reality of estrangement. That in itself is bad enough, but what is far worse is that these precious little people could happily walk past at any time. Never knowing how close they are to so much love.

Yes Rosy it's beyond tragic isn't it.

Yes beyond tragic! for all

Well ladies, are you sitting down? You'll need to be, it looks as if our EDIL has become a registered child minder. I just wanted to let you all know; can't think of anything else to say.

The day has come at last Smileless enjoy it. You EDIL has become a registered childminder you say, words fail me. Just rise above it. Make the most of this new start and if you can don't look at what they are doing now as a family, it just rakes it all up again.
I am having house valued today to see what my next move should be, it would help if I knew where I wanted to move to.

Cricky Smileless Who would want their child left with such a cruel & heartless women?

I know Yogagirl, it's beyond belief isn't it.

In 2 weeks and 3 days I wont have to try not to look Luckylegs as we should have moved. I feel so emotional just thinking about the 23rd and how wonderful it will be leaving that house for the last time.

We signed our contracts for our purchase this morning and today also happens to be our 36th wedding anniversary. I thought Mr. S. might have forgotten with so much going on at the moment but no, bless him a lovely card and flowers. It would have been awful if he had forgotten as it would have been the first time ever.

Getting a valuation is the first step Luckylegs and there's no reason why you can't get yours on the market and then look around and see where you fancy moving too.

I know moving for us is the best thing we could have done. I know it's going to be the fresh start we so desperately need and how lucky we are to be able to take this huge step.

So, the champagne is chilling and we're one step closer to fulfilling our dream of moving away.