Racism

How very sad Mojowic, I was reading an article about Racism in the USA there is a movement called Racists Anonymous it was very interesting. It works a little like Alcoholics Anonymous, whether it can change opinions or not remains to be seen but it is interesting.

Mo, feel pity for your parents they missed so much , C is not different to the rest of the family , she is part of a family

Yes, and it's your parents who have lost out.It must always be more difficult for children who are mixed race, and they see that neither side accepts them fully.What a great shame.Hope your grand-daughter does well in life.

In my view, people who see themselves as on one "side" or "another" in terms of race are not really worth knowing anyway.

I remember many years ago when I first started out in social work it was virtually impossible to find adoptive parents for a mixed race child as external appearances suggested that a white mother pushing the pram had indulged in sexual activity with a black man - shock horror. Thank goodness we have moved on - we are not quite there yet, but are creeping along the road. The mixed race babies went into foster care. Very sad.

I can empathise mojowic my GD is mixed race ,I have brought her up since the age 4 after the death of my daughter,E is 18 in February.My partner and I are white.Attitudes have varied but there are occasions where my background has been judged and questioned,especially as we had to move under police protection to rural Norfolk where new comers are under suspicion,and newcomers with a mixed race child are viewed as questionable ,the school gates and playground mafia being the most obvious.

It is so sad this caused a rift between you and your parents. Clearly you were in the right but your parents were a product of their times. Try to have happy memories of them from earlier times and forgive them their prejudice. Could you write to your sister and try and make amends It is sad when families are divided and it is the bigger person who tries to put things right. Good luck. I hope your GD does well in life and can rise above prejudice.

DTE it surprises me that you experience racism in Norfolk. We live in a North Essex Village that is 98% white British. There are a few Asian, Afro Caribbean and Chinese families and children. I have never been aware of any animosity towards them, they all seem to integrate perfectly. I see the non white children in apparently friendly groups with their white friends. Certainly my two children had non white friends, in fact following uni, most of our daughters close friends are non white.

I use the terms non white etc, as I do not know of any other description, it is not meant in any racist way.

WB school gates where the worst for me,E didn't get any racist remarks until high school,as a young GM I was possibly just about the age where a late fling would have produced a child ,as I remained tight lipped about our circumstances through necessity what they didn't know they made up and that is how rumours start.Older generation where surprisingly accepting,I was shocked at younger ones being judgemental.

Perhaps I am misunderstanding, I am talking about how things are today, a few years back, I agree, things were very different.

Back in the 70's we had friends who were a mixed race couple and we use to go to a night club with them that was dedicated to mixed race, I doubt such a club would exist now.

Our oldest daughter (white) was once in a relationship with an Afro-Carribean man. We more or less accepted it, he was a kind-hearted chap and they seemed happy together. But his family strongly disapproved, and eventually they split up.
What worried me most at the time was whether any children they had were likely to suffer from racial prejudice.

WB E was the only dual heritage child in the village and as newcomers we stood out anyway...FIL lives in Harwich and when visiting never had any problems...now after 9 years and 2 further moves out of the villages more ethnicity is arriving in mid Norfolk and now as our background is known we are accepted,but the first years here where uncomfortable at times

I dated a black S A in the sixties , oh did I encounter the evil of racism .

come the start of this century I was in a relationship with a man who was born in St.Kitts, the racism was still there but nothing like the sixties.

Five years ago my elder granddaughter dated a boy who was the son of a couple from Napal, some racists comments .

Racism is part of life in this country sadly

Funnily enough AB my mum dated a Jamaican gentleman for 20 years after the death of my father late 70's to late 90's but she lived in East London and no one turned a hair ,and my daughter had only one white boyfriend in her short life,we lived In mid Essex at the time,my son had friends of many cultures and all where welcomed through our home it was seen as the norm in our area

downtoearth, racism seems to have different causes for some time. In the sixties it was because my friend was black , the comments when my granddaughter dated a son of a couple from Napal it was culture which some had a problem with

I seem to remember growing up in the 50s/60s Anniemy mum making comments about white women with black men and the reference was on the woman's morals and not the men's colour.I understand your point regarding cultures as E's other GP'S and father are African and their beliefs and culture are very different from that of the one my daughter was brought up in.Although estranged from her father I have always tried to support respect for both cultures neither being wrong just different and thankfully she dosent seem to have any identity problems as we facilitated a gradual reunion with her paternal family

I don't think I have ever been racist, but I am ashamed of some of the words I used back in the 60's, simply because they were the common language of the era. Whilst I never imagined they were hurtful, had I realised I would never have used them.

wobblybits I don't think you have anything to be ashamed about since you were unaware that the language in common use then was seen by those whom it described or to whom it was directed as offensive and hurtful.

Some of the things in the 60/70's were awful, cruel and unpleasant by today's standards. Slavery was acceptable once, but we should be ashamed of it now.

downtoearth, my Dad was in the local pub and someone said - how can you allow your daughter to go out with a n*****, he replied - looking around the company in this room I can say she has made an excellent choice of friend

My morals were not attacked simply because I was dating a priest , expect they thought being a priest his morals were keeping me on the straight and narrow

I am glad things are working out in you family , respect from both sides makes such a difference

wobblybits, you used words which were acceptable then, bet you wouldn't have deliberately smashed a glass a black person had drank from , or if a publican say - will you sit in the room at the back, I don't mind you being here but customers do

Things were very different in your parents era Mojowic, the way they felt sadly was the norm then. Don't think too harshly of them just enjoy life as it is now.

Yes it was different then, who remembers the MP Gerald Nabarro saying on the BBC in the sixties - how would you feel if your daughter wanted to marry a big buck n****r , this was on Any Questions

When I was first at work we only had one black guy who worked as a cleaner. All I can remember of him was that he was a joker and always up for a bit of banter, I don't remember anyone being unpleasant to him, in fact he was quite popular. This was 1961.