Racism

There was a great documentary in Berlin a few years back. White German children were professionally made up and dressed to look like Turkish children, then followed as they went to the shops, asked for directions in the street, took the tram, etc. It was truly eye-opening. Maybe that should be a compusory experience for all, as Antonia says, you can't possibly know what it feels like until it has happened to you.

BTW - you would never know of my DH's mixed heritage, or his father's (now deceased) if you ever met him. English through and through. His mother was clearly part African, but considered herself as Afrikaan and spoke Afrikaans - she was extremely racist re blacks back in CT (the word 'kaffir' still makes me shudder).

The Berlin documentary must have been very interesting Granjura. Sometimes I do wonder if humans are not 'hardwired' to reject those different from themselves, in the same way that other animals will fight off a member of a different group. In the animal kingdom it makes biological sense, to keep available food within your own group and therefore ensuring that your offspring pass on your own genes ranger than those of a rival. Maybe we are not as advanced from an evolutionary point of view as we like to think we are!

When I was running a bar here a few years ago, before 9/11 I was dating a very nice Morrocan man.
3 British customers took me to one side and told me people would stop coming in if they saw 'someone like him' serving behind the bar.
I barred them, he was a PHD student at the time and I never told him what had been said. He tends to see the best in everyone and would have been very hurt.
I also had 2 Cuban barmen and no one objected to them although they were darker skinned than my friend.

was that in France, Felice?

Antonia- people so often say that, about it being 'natural' to be afraid of difference- and I jsut don't get it. I grew up in a rural village in Switzerland where there we NO foreigners, apart from Italians. I was about or 7 when I saw the first black person, a priest from Africa who had come to visit our school. I was mesmerised- I'll always remember asking if I could touch his hair. He smiled and bent over, and I put my hand on his head and pushed - and he smiled, I smiled. It was a lovely innocent moment. When I was 10, we had a black neighbour who lived with a Swiss-Italian woman 2 doors down- he was so tall and slim and elegant- never talked to anyone. I met him a few months ago and told him how I remembered him and how I admired him - in his 90s now- he bought us a drink and we had a good natter.

Personally I was always attracted to people who are different- the Hungarian kids who arrived in 53, the Italian children who arrived in the mid 50s as part of family re-unification - and then the multicultural mix of London and later Leicester. Maybe I am a genetic 'loser' - but I am so glad of this.

There is a fantastic film on this subject (based on a true story) called The African Doctor, currently on Netflix. French with English subtitles. A "feelgood" film, despite the theme.

www.onnetflix.co.uk/the-african-doctor/25673

Granjura, I am so glad that you embrace difference. I don't think that children, left to themselves, absorb these ideas of group similarities and exclusions. I think the ideas of racism are passed on by adult family members. And don't get me started on Switzerland! I had a horrible racist experience in a Swiss hotel many years ago, (from the receptionist, would you believe, when I was a paying guest), and we have friends who live there. When they were visiting us, he admitted that when he returned to Switzerland from abroad he always opted for an all white queue at border control because he knew that if there was a black person in the queue it would take much longer to get through as the black person was likely to be thoroughly questioned before being let through. It is not a country that I would ever visit again.

What can I say? Where was that? (by pm if you'd rather). I live in the French speaking part, and things are quite different here, but it can't be denied that racila profiling goes on at border posts and border control at airports. Same for all European contries- Italy, France, Austria, Spain, etc.
We went to Sicily last year, and the ONLY person stopped at the airport was a very elegant black man, with attaché case, who remained very calm and well spoken right through. They grilled him for almost 10 minutes and searched him- it was awful. I felt like interfering, but knew it was best not to. And wanted to tell him how we felt afterwards, but again knew it would be seen as patronising perhaps. Same for the USA.

Your travelling is going to me very limited. Never let one bad experience ruin your impression of a whole country- too sad.
Most reception staff in SWitzerland are not Swiss btw.

It was a hotel in Lucerne, when my DH and I did a rail tour of Europe. I think our travelling days are over now though, we just haven't got the stamina any more! I just wanted to add; it is beginning to sound from my posts as if my whole life has been blighted by a series of racist incidents. It hasn't, not by a long way. Most of the time my life jogs along very peacefully, and happily, it's just that when these things happen, you tend to remember them.

I get that, totally. I am very very privileged and lucky that I have never ever experienced a racist 'attack' or slant myself. The people of all shades and religions we met in South Africa the past 3 weeks have all been fabulous and friendly- even those who have very little and would have every reason for being very bitter, and even hate.

Antonia, sending to you. I truly am shocked by some people's absolute ignorance. May you continue to be the much better person xx

Thank you Grannyben, and to all of you who have contributed to this discussion.

I grew up in the suburbs of Glasgow in the 50's and 60's there were a few mixed race families local to us ,two in our street ,black fathers white mothers and we all called the children half caste ....we never thought it was offensive and the children who played with the rest of us seemed to accept thats what they were called..not in a name calling way I hasten to add.The mothers were still included in the womens days out every summer and christmas when mums saved for a day or evening out with a meal and a dance if it was evening ..no men allowed.Strangely it has taken this thread for me to realise I dont really rememeber the dads apart from them both being tall and smiley black men whose kids would clamber all over them as they came up the street from work.I remember most of the dads so maybe these men kept a distance fearing racist remarks etc .As children it was nothing different to us but I dont think they ever spoke to us or joined in as some dads did with the football or kick the can games

Racism may have gotten less, but there are still some people who are just as racist as ever and others who defend them. Sounds like your father was among the first group, Mojowic, your sister is among the second and your mother somewhere in between. Please be glad that you and your dd are not among either.

Still, I'm sorry that your parents' prejudice hurt you, dd and gd. Please try to let gd know that their attitudes were outdated and not really about her. Please tell her the same about your sister's attitude now. Let her know that racism distorts people's hears and minds. Perhaps it will make her feel a little better. And it will be a good "don't-ever-be-a-bigot" lesson for her.