No presents this year from my ds and dil

I know how you feel it's not the present per se it's the feeling unwanted, unforunately we brought up the me generation

The OP raised a son who prioritises seeing people and spending time with them, be that weekends with friends or weddings or seeing his mum on boxing day. I'ld rather raise a generation like that than one who just chuck money at things instead of investing in time/relationships.

I'ld rather my kids spend boxing day with us than buy us things. I'ld also feel that their priorities were spot on if they spend whatever spare money they did have on socialising rather than "Stuff", because it means that relationships come before things to them

I always told my son I'm happy with a homemade card and some form of correspondence so when he turns up on the day with a box of chocolates or whatever it's a heartwarming treat XX

I would be furious - sorry but a small token gift, something thoughtful would be appreciated, it's not about spending copious amounts of money. I spend a lot of time looking for "quirky" gifts for my family. It is the height of bad manners to turn up & expect to be fed & given a bed without a token gift. Sorry to be so harsh but no matter how hard up I was I always found some small gift.

KatyK I agree with your comments, my DStep-S suggested years ago that we should only buy for DGC - I vetoed that & suggested small gifts for Adults (£5/10) as myself & DH would miss out whereas DC would still have loads of presents - again not about money but just a small token

Even bunches of flowers are still available at Christmastime.

It doesn't look like I'm getting anything off my son neither, so I know how you are feeling Scousegirl. Chin up, we have done our best. They are adults now and so it's up to them how they behave.

The visit is the gift, a pressie goes in the bin.

Scousegirl, I hope you had a really good visit with ds & dil on Boxing Day! I also hope they brought you that "box of chocolates" or perhaps a bottle of wine or whatever. Also, I hope you had a small gift or 2 for them JIC they did.

How do you come any lower "on their priority list" than anyone else? They didn't say they were buying Xmas gifts for everyone but you & dh - they said they weren't doing Xmas gifts, period. (I hope they bring a gift to that wedding, but that's different, IMO.) It's not as if they were planning to spend time with others and not with you guys either. They put aside Boxing Day and an overnight visit for you - and, I guess, had to spend Xmas Day traveling to get to you? I know you were hurt (hope you feel better now) but, IMO, that's because you were comparing apples with oranges - socializing isn't comparable to gifts and paying debts isn't comparable to either of those.

Hope all is well and that you have a great year ahead!

"Spend their inheritance" just because they aren't doing Xmas gifts? Really people?

What if they truly are struggling financially? Just because they make big salaries doesn't mean they aren't having financial troubles. Certainly hospital bills and a huge debt don't help. Maybe they've overextended themselves in other ways (large mortgage or whatever, the OP didn't say and may not know). No one except perhaps their financial advisor can really assess anyone else's financial situation or judge how they spend their money. Honestly people!

I can't believe how selfish all of you people are. You aren't entitled to anything.

Some of these responses are disgusting. He's spending money when he's already on a tight budget to see his mother.
If I was him and id read this id cancel the visit and spend the money doing something enjoyable.

Erm, DIL1991, your post is in response to a thread that was last "active" back in early January?

How did you find this thread?