Now retired, my husband wants us to travel - I will miss Grandchildren!

Its an animal thing. The youngest of the herd is always the focus.

Yes I agree Jane. The young are the genetic future - the selfish gene and all that.

Grandparents have finished breeding, we are biologically disposable.

Its a matter of understanding how the OP feels. Some people just want to stay near them. Some aren't so bothered. That's life.

Exactly. There is a slightly self righteous tone to the 'Stepford Wives tendency' here who seem to think the OP has a moral duty to put her DHs needs first, above her own.

"Grandparents have finished breeding"

Sorry for you, what a sad thought. I hope you are just piping off untruths.

We aren't herd animals though, are we? We live in nuclear, or sometimes extended, families.
The prime responsibility for children's care and upbringing is their parents', not their grandparents.

Well I guess Im generalising and you do get some youngish pregnant grannies, but not, I suspect, among the dmographic on Gransnet.

We aren't herd animals though, are we? We live in nuclear, or sometimes extended, families. The prime responsibility for children's care and upbringing is their parents', not their grandparents.

"It takes a village to raise a child"

I think janea has a very valid point though jane10.
I too am pulled in different directions between wanting to spend time with my DGC and help out when asked with childcare, emergency or not. I miss them and I live a minimum of 1 1/2 hours travel away from both families.
But I have a chronically sick husband who can no longer be left overnight and whose medical requirements cut into nearly every day of the week.
I have to make that choice.
Did it make me a "bad granny" if I could not do the after school pick up plus taking them to swimming yesterday when DD had a parents' evening on a day she does not usually work consequently not a nanny day?
No.
No more than it would make her a bad mother for working 3 days a week.
Somewhere, near the beginnng of the thread , somebody (not sure who, but it was implied by "choosing" between DH and DGCs) appeared to equate time spent with the DGC with how much we love them . Nothing could be further from the truth. So could those who are physically able , geographically located so as to be able or commitment free able please not make the rest of us feel we are somehow lesser?
Being a grandparent is a relationship, not a competition.

Mair when you're quoting from my posts, could you extend the courtesy of making that clear? As well as correctly attributing words to me?

Of course I am aware of that hackneyed quote about it taking a village to raise a child. I've never taken it literally.

*"Somewhere, near the beginnng of the thread , somebody (not sure who, but it was implied by "choosing" between DH and DGCs) appeared to equate time spent with the DGC with how much we love them . Nothing could be further from the truth. So could those who are physically able , geographically located so as to be able or commitment free able please not make the rest of us feel we are somehow lesser?
Being a grandparent is a relationship, not a competition."*

Brilliant, well done, internet ovation.

*MawBroon "Somewhere, near the beginnng of the thread , somebody (not sure who, but it was implied by "choosing" between DH and DGCs) appeared to equate time spent with the DGC with how much we love them . Nothing could be further from the truth. So could those who are physically able , geographically located so as to be able or commitment free able please not make the rest of us feel we are somehow lesser?
Being a grandparent is a relationship, not a competition." *

BRILLIANT

Somehow, the functions are not working properly on my end. Sorry.

"Mair when you're quoting from my posts, could you extend the courtesy of making that clear"

JaneA I normally do, but doing so is not a universal practice on GNet.

Unfortunately it doesnt have any easy quote facility.

Its just about a holiday everyone! Its not a life and death choice between husbands and grandchildren.

"Its not a life and death choice between husbands and grandchildren"

Wouldn't a husband always win such a choice?

but some posters have been very hard on us Grans who just love our GCs more than extended holidays

This was the bit I meant. I apologise if I have misunderstood what lies behind it, but it certainly made me feel I would be an inadequate GP if anything came before my DGC.
Of course I would lie down in front of a bus to save them, but that does not mean I would push DH in front of one.
?Mind you.......there are moments.....



.

Jane10 The OP implied it wasn't 'just a holiday'.
It was a an experience, a journey, a holiday if you must, that both she and her husband had been dreaming of for years. That's the rub.
An extended journey where you travel through a country, using public transport, talking to local people, learning about local history, trying local food, has many benefits and it is not just a holiday.

JaneA:
An extended journey where you travel through a country, using public transport, talking to local people, learning about local history, trying local food, has many benefits and it is not just a holiday.

A romantic view of the 'benefits' of 'travel'raising the classic debate topic:
Does travel broaden the mind?

I am inclined to the Simon Armitage view that its quite unnecessary!
www.poemhunter.com/poem/it-ain-t-what-you-do-it-s-what-it-does-to-you/

Simplistic I know, like most of his poetry, but no less insightful for all that.

A view also expressed in the Waterboys song The Whole of the Moon.
I love that and it has particular memories for me.

Mair Pleasant though it may be to skim stones on Black Moss or live with thieves in Manchester, as described in the poem, I'm not sure that either of those experiences would afford the same opportunities for learning about other people and their cultures, or seeing the great buildings of the world, or viewing great works of art, or seeing breath-taking scenery, that travel does.

Though I suppose living in Manchester might provide most of those. It's a city of great diversity, great art galleries, its own orchestra and concert hall, and industrial and political heritage.

Being brought up near Manchester and going to university there perhaps stimulated my interest in the rest of the world.

Horses for courses

Loving the DGC and enjoying an extended trip are in two entirely different categories
Or is it just me?
Her husband will be very upset if she won't go
At that age the DGC will get on with their happy little lives and won't be 'heartbroken' at her absence and the DGD in particular will be very excited when she comes back
Minalta's DD urges her to go - and will surely be able to manage for a few weeks without her mother?
It is Minalta who says she will be 'heartbroken' and miss out on the 'firsts' with the new baby

I hope she doesn't concentrate her whole retirement on the DGC and find that her husband goes off without her and get a taste for it.

Who in their right mind puts GC ahead of DH?

It depends on the situation - if it was a case of rescuing a DGC or rescuing DH I am sure that DH would want me to rescue the DGC.

However, when it comes to holidays I like to go with DH (and DGC too if their parents come as well!)

I'm with you Araabra! I love my GC, as I'm sure we all do on here, but I certainly wouldn't centre my life on them. I'm just amazed, and a little sad, about how many seem to.

Araabra me for one and I'd expect DH to do the same. We've been together for more than 40 years and realise that we as a couple are part of something bigger than just us: our family.
We're happily beyond romantic notions of coupledom. I've been away without him and vice versa but never for months on end.