Continued support and fun aspects too of rebuilding lives after estrangement can't believe 4 years and we still here to offer help, friendship and support.

I don't find it easy to post as it feels as I am exposing myself when I'm vulnerable.
Like other estranged mums feeling rather emotional when we see cards and gifts.

This morning I was feeling rather down and came to see how my cyber friends were coping.
Then I saw The Shoes.
That picture gave me such a lift.
Many thanks Smileless for this and your other posts.

Good wishes to you all.
NS

One of the things I love about this thread is that, although we are all heartbroken, we haven`t lost our sense of humour - and we still appreciate fab shoes - and we care about each other.
Hopefully our detractors, who pop up every now and again, will note that and realise that we really aren`t evil old witches who should be kept away from children.

Smileless2012 I agree about its better not being some one who has cut their mother off.

ninathenana sorry to hear its just happened for you.

Sometimes the pain of estrangement is overwhelming and I just have to sit with it for a day or two before venturing out again.

NorthernSoul. I'm glad the photo of my new shoes gave you a lift, I'm hoping that the height of the heel will give me one too.

I've just spotted a post from our dear Rhinestone on the other estrangement thread so hopefully we'll be hearing from her on this one too. We've missed you Rhinestone.

This really is a great thread isn't it eddiecat. It's lovely that we don't only have estrangement in common, that we also have our love of shoes, a sense of humour and the shared commitment to help and support one another.

SparklyGrandma yes, there are times when our pain is overwhelming and all that we can do is "sit with it for a day or two" either alone, or we can come on here and share knowing that there are people who really care.

Thanks for your flowers, Smileless.
Can I ask about the dress/suit you will wear with those wonderful shoes?

Must admit to comfort buying when I feel low and in need of a confidence boost.

I too wonder what my daughter must think when she sees Mothers Day cards,I always think of my own mum who died 28 years ago and would have been horrified and upset that her granddaughter turned out this way.

Kind thoughts to you all.
NS

Morning Girls

I'm back from my wonderful holiday/Yoga retreat in India, 24hr trip back, door to door, so feeling fatigued this morning, managed to read all the posts, scribbled some reply notes, but, so many to reply to

We had a fabulous time in India, no 'deli-belly', but young Indian couple sitting in front of us on flight back to UK had to stay a week longer as she ended up in hospital with a virus!

The wild life was wonderful, the birds! I helped bath a baby elephant, we saw parades with Elephants all dressed up in ceremonial dress. The beaches and sea...could see the tropical fish without even a snorkel & goggles! The people so friendly! All really wonderful

Half the friends/students there, knew my story of estrangement, the other half not, but I didn't once talk about it, which in itself is terribly sad. Some were 'facetiming' their GC and talking excitedly about it, one, who's birthday it was, showed us a video of her GS singing 'happy birthday', I just felt numb On a retreat, we all get very close and divulge personal things not usually spoken of, but I never spoke once about loosing my beloveds, that in itself has a pain to it It didn't help, that on our shore line, the sea was too rough for us to swim just outside our yoga retreat, so we had to walk a short distance along to a lagoon. The hotel on this beach was called Leela nearly the same name as my precious GD, so no-way could I push the situ to the back of my mind

Taking a shower, sort out some washing, then I'll be back with some replies to your posts.

Welcome back Yogagirl, it sounds as if you had a wonderful time seeing the wildlife. How wonderful to help bath a baby elephant.

I've got a dress for the wedding NS which is exactly the same blue as the shoes so there was an element of practicality in my choice of footwear; well that's what I told Mr. S..

Welcome back, Yoga! What a fabulous trip!

Sorry that the pain of estrangement followed you even there, however. Hope it didn't come up too often.

Just got back from a lovely long walk with Mr. S. and our little dog. Prepared theand turned on the oven so it would be cooked by the time we got back only to find I'd forgotten to put it in.

Thank goodness the cat hadn't realised it was on top of the cooker.

I once spent 3 hours slow-cooking a leg of lamb - only to find I had put it in the top oven and turned the main oven on - I think we had bacon and egg for Sunday lunch that week

Yogagirl welcome back and your yoga retreat or holiday including helping to wash an elephant, sounds wonderful. I am sorry that your weren't able to talk about your est GC. Its a sad choice many of us have to make in social situations. I hope overall it was a lovely experience. I haven't got back to yoga since having cancer and a kidney out a few years ago. I miss the tranquility.

Smileless2012 thank you for your kind comment about our pain - I sat with it for a few days and came onto GN often.

Sorry to change the tone, everyone is so outwardly cheerful today
I'd just like your opinion. D's ex is totaly toxic for her. She suffered years of mental abuse and lack of support as parents she has recently moved and hasn't informed him where. He has us as point of contact mobile, home phone, address. CSA and others have this as a c/o address and they know why.
She rang me last night and asked if I wanted her to tell him her new address in the hope of him then allowing us to se GC as this is one of several excuses for not allowing her access. I told her no way, I'd rather see my D relaxed and happy and not to tell him just for our sakes. We love GC but we also love D.
Would you have done the same ?

Ok, I think I'm starting to get this now, ninathenana. D's ex claims he is denying access to both her and you because he doesn't know where she lives. I bet he's saying that she could take them off or you and dh could hand them off to her, and she could keep them from him because he wouldn't know where they were. He's probably adding that this would cause undue emotional stress for the kids (you said something about that before). Am I close?

I might see his pov if he hadn't been mentally abusive to d. Given the type of person he has shown himself to be, I understand why you feel these are just excuses. It's very likely he just wants her address so he can contact her and subject her to more abuse.

So yes, if I were in your shoes I would have "done the same." As much as you miss your gc, I agree that it's more important for your d to have a chance to heal. She might decide on her own to tell him her address in the hopes that it might increase HER chances of seeing the kids. But if she does, I'm glad it won't be because of you. Good move, ninathenana!

Welcome back yogagirl I did send out SOS!
We had fantastic hol in India in 2012 like u loved birds and elephants also rickshaws and we visited taj mahal amazing
Sorry it was tinged with sadness for u

We away thus weekend but I been v sick last nightnot sure if virus or codeine. Not been best weekend and worried sick little Rosie needs op a tumour in mammary gland next Thurs just pray it's not spread.
Smile less hope u got lunch in end
wonderful news my lovely hairdresser had beautiful baby boy yesterday!so v pleased for her as sadly she lost 2 and I have been so worried

Starlady yes you've understood as much as I have revealed
Thanks for the comment

OMG Ladies- I had lost my way but found you all at last. Luckily Smileless was on the same thread. I was looking for familiar names but wondered where they had give to. Glad to be back. Five weeks away and I come home to a horrible cold. Then DH gets a sinus infection and THEN I get the stomach flu. Add to that my brother in the hospital who decided not to go thru with his gall bladder removal after a stone was found and he was in pain. But that's another story.
Smileless*You are a woman after my own heart. I adore shoes because I don't have to put them over my hips. They always fit.
Glad to stop eating pudding, rice and bananas.
One good thing is that I lost theee pounds. At least that's positive out of a negative situation.

Morning Girls

Smileless I think you were thinking that the move would somehow ease your mind over the estrangement and although your move has been a success and your happy there, the Elephant in the room has not gone away! I and my ND thought the same with the forthcoming birth of her baby, we both thought we would feel a lot better and would be able to move on, but baby was on the other page of the book, the happy, full of sunshine page, but the other page, full of darkness and sorrow was still there

Celebgran I'm sorry to hear you are in so much pain, on top of the pain of this estrangement, it's not fair is it! Hope little Rosie is feeling ok today and that she had a good birthday on Monday, my little Lilly is 13.5yrs and I was so happy to see her on my return from India, I love her so much, we had a big cuddle and kiss Good news about your Son's house purchase, I hope it all goes well for them.

Luckylegs your estrangement is none of your doing, you sound like a lovely lady and I'm sure you were a good and loving mum, your daughter is the one in the wrong and very cruel with it! I agree with you about if a reunion takes place, how can it be, it could never go back to how it was I cannot understand how a daughter could do such an evil & cruel thing to her loving Mother, I really can't

Rosy you have a lovely and strong Son, he has stood by you when his rotten wife has done everything she can to stop him seeing you, his mum, he obviously loves you very much and is hurt that you cannot have the joy of his child, your grandchild, growing up, you will see her and she will feel natural love for her grandma..you Your posts were so lovely, yet so sad!

Parklife* Yes again speaking of the past and it can never be the same again. I remember running round my estD living room, giving my precious GD a piggyback, her squilling with laughter, and the 'hide-&seek' games, with her just hiding under the table, quite clear to see It's my sister's birthday on this Mother's day, she has no children sadly, so we may meet up for lunch, but I have classes till 2pm on a Sunday and feel quite tired once home.

Eddiecat Yes me too re: break-up, it's the only way I will see my beloveds again, and the wedding, yes there will be a big hole were your grandchildren should be. At my daughter's wedding I had to stop myself crying in the church, as it's such an emotionally time, and I just kept thinking about how they should have been there, as bridesmaid, page-boy, maid-of-honour and my Son giving my ND away, Afterwards my ND said she had thought the same and that how it had tarnished her wedding day, but she didn't tell that to anyone else

Sparklygran & Northernstar

Rheinstone glad you found our page again and good to hear you enjoyed your hols.

for all

Nina

Starlady Thanks x

I loved the image of the 2 different pages Yogagirl; well put.

What a lovely lady you are ninathenanna as is your DD, for worrying about your lack of contact with your GC; a bouquet for each of you and yes, you did the right thing. Clearly your s.i.l. is using his children. Perhaps he thought it might put pressure on your D to let him know where she's living; calculated and cruel.

Glad you found us Rhinestone and I agree with what you said about shoes, they're the one article of clothing that I know will always be the same size.

Sorry your weekend didn't go as well as you'd hoped Celeb. Wonderful news about your hairdressers' baby. Try not to worry about Rosie, what am I saying; I'd be worried sick too. Give her a hug from me and of course keep us posted.

We had ourdinner, a little later than planned but it was worth the wait. I did that once too eddiecat with lamb by putting it in the oven I hadn't turned on; maybe it's a lamb thing. I knew I'd never make that mistake here as I only have one oven, but still managed to get it wrong.

Smileless

I would have a shoe obsession if I didn't have fat feet sadly I have to take what I can get.
I console myself with bags, from dainty clutchbags to holdalls

I was a bit fed up earlier because adverts for cards and presents for Mother's Day seemed to be everywhere, but then my son phoned to thank me for his birthday presents and he is so lovely, I am grateful to have one child who cares. That's more than many, I know and I am thankful.

Park life can so relate to that, minds rang just as we go home, and he put little comment on my Facebook pic saying take it easy mum, it so helps one of my children still love me.

Thanks smileless, glad to be home, got say. A aged buy 2 pros Skechers on way home, one pretty sparkly jewels pr and one just white comfy for holiday, they so comfy, smilelss I blame u!
Dh got pr shoes too!
I am Still feeling very fragile and yes I will pm u Thursday may not be up to public posting.
I feel very nauseous still, and we had rush home as Lisa who has Rosie was going out, naughty I managed get shoes, but also pressy for new baby.

Oh well shower and rest now, will pass that cuddle onto Rosie thanks smilelss she see s very perky eaten well and crazed. ME for treats, had give her good clean withnwipes and wash her mattress cover, but that's just me fusspot.

She was very well cared for that's mainthing.

Thankyou Yogagirl

The Mothers Day stuff everywhere can be misery making, I am glad I have an outlet for some of it in buying flowers yesterday for my mother.

I am glad Spring is nearly here, I live in the countryside and all the birds singing their little hearts out yesterday was uplifting on the way to the train station.